A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

Joe & Si; they left Earth three moths ago! Where we learn what both Si and Joe were doing age 18. Why is Butler so flirty? Big Man 🦖 takes a doze. Does this episode contain the single greatest performance, and the most shocking, left field cliffhanger?

Joe & Si; diorama delight! Reverse slow mo with CSO! Pertwee in close up! The renaissance of the Brigadier! Pink for your actual Pterodactyl! Sally Stegosaurus! And just who on Earth is involved in this conspiracy?

Joe & Si, on the run from UNIT! We deconstruct how fan myths are created, do incredible dinosaur impressions, consider just who might be involved in this conspiracy. Huge love for a stunning first episode, especially the Big Man 🦖

Joe & Pete; they’ve got nothing to lose loss so you better watch out. This is the one; the biggie, the world changer, the big twist. Pete reveals just why the Doctor has been a huge bastard in this story. What do you think?

Joe & Pete face psychotic Morris Dancers! When did Pete’s balls drop? Why does this episode look so much better than the others? And has anyone else been tricked into thinking this is the end of the story? A truly chilling cliffhanger.

Joe & Pete; terrified by gargoyles in body stockings. Is this the horniest story? With horns. How do you effectively tackle episode three exposition? More suspense about Pete’s ultimate Daemons theory (due in episode five). And how many aliens have thrown their hands in on humanity’s progression?

Joe & Pete; UNIT specialists. Is it like the Carry On films, Night of the Demon, Talons of Weng-Chiang or is it just fantastic folk horror? Who’s the most handsome member of UNIT and why is it Jon Pertwee? Miss Hawthorne is our heroine. ‘My helicopter???!’

Join Joe & Pete as they discover what happened to Canon Smallwood, in mysterious circumstances. Folk horror, wind machines, blinking drinking games, quality cliffhanger, Benton watching Doctor Who, living statues and pure love for the heyday of Doctor Who.

Join Joe & Matt as they always dress for the occasion. An inexplicable info dump of an opening act, a charming middle act and an hectic and baffling last act...so why do we love it so much? Much comment on the Chang Lee/Master chemistry.

Join Joe & Frazer as they bring down the Moroks (off screen, with a huge budget). What do The Phantom Menace, The Dominators and The Space Museum have in common. We’re not keen on the casual explanation for the timeywimeyness but we just adore all the regulars.

Join Joe & Frazer as they have the carry the story because The Doctor is on holiday. We’re baffled by Ida Barr’s appearance on the DVD, admire Ivor Salter’s theatrical performance, Ian’s aggression and Vicki’s somnambulistic revolution.

Join Joe & Frazer, almost men and dangerous! Prepare to have your mind blown as the truth behind the Moroks is finally revealed. If you want to know where they came from, and who sent them out into the universe, you may be surprised. Subversive and revelatory.

Join Joe & Frazer as they jump a time track and don’t arrive until the cliffhanger. 25 minutes of trying to figure out the plot, mystery, suspense, thoughtful acting, sex comedy lines, overflowing literature about the subject matter and a giddy and delightful Hartnell.

Join Joe & Mike as they realise they re special, they are important. A huge Jodie Whittaker celebration; her character, her performance, her companions and her era. This episode looks amazing, it achieves a lot and naturalism is back in Doctor Who. Refreshing positivity.

Join Joe & Jason as they don’t open their mouths about the Matr-BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP. A brilliant sixth Doctor; impassioned and compassionate, the accidental threatening of the universe, an emotional robot and a foolish choice of prosecution evidence.

Join Joe & Jason as they go...forward (to Marks & Spencer!). Intimate stories of how Doctor Who can soften the blow of real world tragedy, why isn’t anyone called Bob in the future, part three exposition and real science as Jason brings his astronomical knowledge to bear to question the shaky science.

Join Joe & Jason as they conceal themselves in a muddy crevice with a trick up their sleeves. We rewrite Trial for a modern audience, a reading from the Target, sympathetic comedy duos, convention anecdotes, and a celebration of the spectacular Colin Baker.

Join Joe & Jason as they discover a remarkable Marble Arch co-incidence on Ravalox. Opinions on JNTs stunt casting, the Trial structure, the re-imagined sixth Doctor, beautiful model work and how Holmes not at his finest is still a fine thing indeed.

Join Joe & Mark on an adventure on the bloody moon! How to introduce a likeable, relatable companion in 45 minutes, drippy dildos, almost Sontarans, Anne Reid love, Mel Bush & the Daisies of Death, hairy toes, and why Martha’s family is much underrated.

Join Joe & Steven as they experience Doctor Who does The Princess Bride. Night shoots, expert sword fighters, podcast worthy dialogue and a cutting parting riposte! A beguiling low key romance we can’t resist.

Join Joe & Steven as they realise the Count’s just offered us the throne! We discuss the two sides of Tom Baker, drink fuelled memorable television, Patricia Quinn anecdotes, the truth of podcast royalty and I wonder if I am interviewing WOTAN.

Join Joe & Steven as they enjoy the romantic entanglements of a gorgeous summer on Tara. Much joy about the Key to Time, K.9, Doctor Who frivolity, Taran cosplay, convention stories, ratings, toxic fandom, Star Trek holodecks and Cyril Shaps neuroses.

Join Joe & Steven as they discover what everybody is wearing on Tara this year! Much talk of fandoms, glorious podcasts, location work, Mary Tamm, irreverence, styles of shooting Doctor Who, and how Steven found this silly, wonderful show. I’m bewitched by a man whose podcasting I’ve enjoyed myself for ages.

Join Joe & JD as they fall apart as we lose Donna Noble Victorious. A huge cast, and we love them all. A massive coda, and our emotions are being played on a string. And the Earth is being driven and we’re punching the air in delight. A joy to record.

Join Joe & JD as they flyyyy into the time vortex and watch spin offs collide! Peak excitement, an immense cast, masterful drama, thrills, spills and shocks! The ultimate love-in, we’re beguiled by every second and we hope you are too.