A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

Faux Joe & Mark; sex therapy in action! Joe goes on a huge journey of self discovery here, from filth bag to Monk in 25 minutes. We’re on Mechnanus, the Daleks are in hot pursuit and all bets are off.

Joe & Mark; going bumpity bumpity in the night. Frankenstein, Dracula, bats, the Grey Lady, spooks, companions left behind, duplicate Doctors…it’s all happening this week!

Joe & Mark; playing Dalek time ships & sailors! We admire TARDIS design, Mark reveals his favourite line, we hang out with a really daft cowboy in New York and discover the truth behind the Marie Celeste!

Joe & Mark; taken to the Mire Beast. An adventure on the planet Aridius, with its amphibian people, deadly enemies and the time travellers facing deadly danger at each turn. Meet Mark, the Aridian travel agent who cannot you up with a package deal for a trip under the three suns.

Joe & Mark; also available on YouTube - https://youtu.be/ney8R3Pq-UY Time and Space TV! Shakespeare! No Beatles! Alien worlds! The ring in the field! This episode has it all…

Frazer & Joe; Geronimo! All about the praise train as the Moffat era kicks off with an astonishing debut full of laughs, scares, character, astonishing guest performances, spanking new regulars and a brand new Doctor Who telly show!

Joe & Brendan; they’ll be superb! Can we flirt madly at the beginning and the ending of the episode? How many smart lines, visuals, funny flourishes, character moments and twists can we marvel at in episode four? More fabulous behind the scenes trivia on this story from my esteemed guest.

Joe & Brendan; the secret of the gateway is…? What is the Barry balance and what did Mr Letts bring to this story and the season as a whole? More chances to talk about the incredible visual storytelling, a toxic production and another unbelievably good cliffhanger.

Joe & Brendan; close the door…after I’ve gone through! Why is Brendan Jones so superb and where can you find him? Does a troubled production make a troubled final product? Did Lalla want to go? Were the changes this year positive ones? Why is this cliffhanger so unique and exceptional?

Joe & Brendan; doing nothing. A phenomenal story to talk about; behind the scenes dramas, companions leaving, unusual concepts, artistic direction, a dense narrative, and lots of chances to flirt like crazy. We’re heading into the Dreamtime…

Joe, David, Harrison, Rose, Martha, Donna, Sarah, Verity, Jackie & Nerys. Joe is in love with this; melodrama, emotion and terrific acting opportunities. Harrison is less convinced; plot contrivances and hubristic Doctors. And David preferred episode one but still loves anything that Bernard Cribbins does.

Joe & David & Harrison and the End of Time Itself! How much of this is padding? Does David remember or understand any of the plot? Is this the contrived half of the story? Or is this all sublime melodrama with a classically absurd Master cliffhanger?

Joe & Steven; caught in a space time trap! Who loves CHB more than CHB? Can Doctor Who work around an abstract concept? Will the Doctor face more than shifting architecture? Is this hard science? Plenty of glorious poetry, magic and melodrama.

Joe & Steven; the Occlusion closes in! What about the chapter titles? Time to talk Peter Davison and his thoughtful interiority. How would you rewrite this for a modern audience? More awesome new passages as we continue to celebrate the transcendent tome.

Joe & Steven; still no way in! What does top ten mean to Steven? Frock or gun explained. Two female leads are taking control of Doctor Who for one week and we’re enamoured. Russian Roulette with the TARDIS? Aussie pilot? Hunted? Sedate, beautiful locations? Oh yes!

Joe & Steven; reading & watching! Come with us as we head into the head of Christopher Hamilton Bidmead and explore the world of Castrovalva in prose. Featuring our favourite passages and a love for the TV serial too. ‘He’s changing’ said Adric, ‘the Doctor’s regenerating!’

Joe & Mark; hiring out the Belfast. The careers of Sophie Aldred & Carole Ann, Michael Wisher’s last job, featuring the Dentist, comedy Sontarans, Cally from Blakes’ 7, a surprisingly robust production and a fabulous musical score. Join in the fun!

Joe & John; things are coming to a crispy, frazzled head! Who is the agent of the Great Intelligence? Is there an optimum length of a Doctor Who story? Also, the first recorded dialogue between Tryst of Eden and Spandrell of Gallifrey.

Joe & John; something funny is coming over us. What is the fine line between chilling possessed acting and pure pantomime? How do you do a Who whodunnit? Did they disguise who the villain of the piece is effectively?

Joe & John; brutality overdrive! Is this the best single episode of classic Doctor Who? We’re astonished by the relentless action and atmosphere and discuss what is appropriate to put children in front of. Will they ever sleep again?

Joe & John; meeting the Brig for the first time! We discuss the nature of missing episode reconstructions and how on Earth we’re in relationships for loving them. When is Nick Courtney given real acting opportunities? What is The Great Omnirumour? What is the Ultimate Scream?

Joe & John; Milo Clancy impressions! We’re still agog that we can watch this, and discuss just how terrifying it is. Gas masks + darkened corners + cobwebs = 👀 It’s the 🐹 agonised scream impression competition. Can you guess them all?

Joe & John; heading into dark tunnels! What is the most shocking oversight of 🐹? We talk the return of the stories and what we did when the news hit. The best directed story in Doctor Who’s run? New series or old series Great Intelligence?

Joe & Si; let the chains of Fenric shatter! Arc plots, filthy weather, stunning characters, scary monsters, all location, action, a frenetic score, unforgettable (in every sense of the word) performances…does this one have it all?

Why would Kim Woodburn be a great villain in this? is Tom Baker an icon, a hero or a monster? Does David make a better host of 🐹? A discussion of actors loving/hating each other and whether that extends on screen.