A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

Joe & Martin; ‘that’s not what I asked!’ Where we celebrate the death of a child, a racist being punch and a ruddy great fish that’s eating people being saved. What this doesn’t suggest is just how atmospheric, relaxed and engaging this episode is. One of Capaldi’s best.

Joe & James; ‘I guess you’re stuck with me!’ A dashing finale, taking in all the sights of Amsterdam (plus green goo). Are the Time Lords disposable? Should Tegan have returned? And they do WHAT in Amsterdam?

Joe & James; ‘Omega controls the Matrix!’ (what the fuck does that mean?). It’s technobabble central, orgasms in the Matrix & a traitor who can barely be arsed to be uncovered. It’s high drama all the way!

Joe & James; ‘so much for your justice!’ What is Tegan’s dirty secret? Is she on the run from the police? Is the technobabble necessary? Who is the traitor?

Joe & James; psycho-synthesized! Churchill shaped dildos, rubber chickens, porn openings, Amsterdam gossip, Time Lord designs and early Doctors! He’s a new member of the fam, but he’s already at home.

Joe, Dylan & Luke; NSFW! We’re all around the Moffat era here; celebrating, criticising and flirting! Day of the Moon is declared the end of the golden period of Doctor Who by one of us…but who?

Joe, Luke & Dylan; ‘I’m saving your life!’ Is series six an ambitious, modern, witty, brilliant take on Doctor Who? Or is it a smug, unsatisfying mess? It all starts here folks…and the trio are ready to hash it out!

Joe, Si & Frazer; ‘OH MY WORD!’ This epic, rousing, laughter filled commentary comes to close with a huge moral debate. Is the Doctor morally dubious? Can you draw a line under the morality of the show? The trio investigates.

Joe, Frazer & Si; and Seeds of Doom! There’s foam galore, cute as a button companions, terrifying monsters and a desperate Doctor. But all that is nought compared to the shock revelation about Si Hart!

Joe, Si & Frazer; but Frazer is taking a week off to grow his sideburns! Can Doctor Who survive with the Doctor? Can Fewsham survive this nightmare? Can the trio go one episode without lauding Mr Ferguson?

Joe & Dylan; and guest star Jodie Whittaker (or rather quotes from interviews). How will this ambitious season climax? Will every plot be ticked off? Will the characters reach satisfying endings? One way to find out…

I talk to Si Hart about his choice of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a brilliant, bonkers and philosophical SF comedy from the pen of Douglas Adams. Can the BBC realise his ambitious concepts? Can Si explain the huge concepts? And which five episodes of the six will be choose to do commentaries on? 

Joe Ford, Nathan Bottomley, Simon Hart & Frazer Gregory head into the pages of 2000’s Festival of Death. The Doctor dies, Romana meets herself and K.9 turns very bad…prepare yourselves for The Beautiful Death!

Joe, Si & Frazer; ‘we want to live!’ There’s only two names on our lips this week; Terrance and Fewsham! Is Mr Dicks the ultimate repairman? Was Fewsham right to betray everybody? Bring on the debate!

Joe, Frazer & Si; go, mirilon, go! What does Frazer think is the best scene in this? Would it make a good soundtrack? Is Michael Ferguson one of the best directors?

Joe, Si & Frazer; the boys are back in town…on the moon! Frazer thinks this is average, Si thinks this is the second best of the year and Joe thinks this ranks fourth. Join the banter as they battle it out!

Joe & Jim; that’s the way to do it! It’s back to Matt Smith and one of the finest Christmas specials; a poetic, fantasy romp with magical visuals and a real sense of tragedy. Welcome to the Jim Allenby Show!

Joe & Dylan; loving life with this season! Too much to talk about l, too little time. The most magnificent Yaz, the oily Grand Serpent, the fabulous Barbara Flynn, extraordinary production flair…

Joe & Dylan; in the nightmare village! Dylan has always loved this and was a little ambivalent this time, whereas Joe’s been a little on the fence and loved it this time. Who is right? Only one wag to find out…

Joe & Dylan; exploring each others backstories. Experimental, unique, visually stunning and busy. Once, Upon Time a Doctor Who episode upset a lot of people…and these podcasters are here to explain why it wasn’t them.

Joe & Dylan; we wanted to ride a horse. A funny, dominant, desperate, improvising thirteenth Doctor, glorious camp villains, brilliant Sontarans, superb visuals effects and a slice of altered history. One of Chibnall’s best?

Joe & Dylan; facing the end of the universe! New characters, plots, revelations. Drama, laughs and performance pieces. Epic visuals, longform storytelling and a mattress in the TARDIS.

Joe & Jason; the final end! How do you bring a story as ambitious and epic as this to a climax? How do you write out the Daleks satisfactorily? Is this genuinely the final end?

Joe & Jason; scrapping the Victorian setting in a violent way and off to Skaro! What is the human and Dalek Factors? How will they spread? Does this make any sense? And who will live to tell the tale?

Joe & Jason; in our last jaunt in Victorian England. Arthur Terrell = pointless? This is all gearing up to the terrific reveal of the human Daleks. Can Doctor Who survive the upbeat cliffhanger?