9 Chickweed Rage

After Edda "cures" Amos's hiccups, he takes the stage, first without his cello (hilarious!) and then with it. His performance, which is of course watched via satellite by all of his family and friends, inspires so much passion, that Juliette fucks Elliott on the couch right next to Nan. It also inspires Isabel to have sex with her boyfriend and Seth to make up with Mark, who appears here as a doll...

The world watched Amos and Edda have sex, thanks to a Belgian breaking news balloon, the kind of balloon that floats through the city of Brussels, filled with at least 10 reporters looking for news stories. And part of how they look for news, we guess, is to peep through windows of buildings and film people without their permission. Seems totally cool. But maybe that's just how "European" they are...

Buckle up for another epic run of this guy's fucking garbage. We start looking at the story of Amos and Edda finally doing it in Brussels during a cello competition. It begins with Edda making a move on Amos which causes him to have the hiccups, which results in Amos wanting to go home. But Edda claims she has a cure, which is (of course) fucking. As soon as they've done the deed, Edda gets on the...

It's our first podcast of 2023! And we're so happy to discover that this strip still makes no goddamned sense at all. We begin our twelve-strip journey (yes! twelve!) with a customer service rep responding to texts from what turns out to be Thorax. Thorax is looking for overalls in XXXXL-Tall, so naturally his path to purchasing said clothing begins with texting a customer service person. And once...

It's our last podcast of 2022! So to celebrate the holidays, we focus on Christmas this episode. Despite striking out at Halloween and Thanksgiving, we give the holidays another shot and take a look to see if Brooke McEldowney has anything joyful or celebratory to say about Christmas. The answer is, of course, mostly no. We're exposed to a very weird "pickle leg," an inappropriately sexy ballet Sa...

We flash back to World War II and immediately find ourselves dealing with two naked people in a...pond? ...a lake? ...a magical puddle? It's very unclear what kind of body of water. Anyway, the skinny-dippers are confronted with Nazis. We don't really know who we're dealing with at first. But the lady scares off some Nazis with her "terrifying downstairs business." We later discover that these mys...

If there was even a moment that you thought Brooke McEldowney wasn't a weirdo, we offer up this six-pack of excursions into the world of Edda's "toe cleavage." It starts off super-weird, with Edda sitting on the sidewalk so Amos can gawk at her feet. After thirty years of knowing each other, this toe cleavage thing comes as a surprise to Edda, because that totally makes as much sense as anything e...

Neither of us was ready for Brooke McEldowney to introduce us to a filthy sock puppet named Sphinxter. But he did it anyway. Here, Sphinxter takes on internet trolls, or as McEldowney calls them, "anonymous onliners." If you're wondering if Sphinxter has a literal butthole for a mouth, he does. And we see it A LOT. In the end, McEldowney claims victory over the trolls and throws Sphinxter away. It...

To celebrate Thanksgiving, we check out a handful of strips that ran on Thanksgivings in the past. Naturally, Brooke McEldowney wants NOTHING to do with such a common holiday. So we have to find our own way to give thanks for Juliette burning her old Daisy Dukes, Rita Hayworth throwing hot dogs at virgins, Edda getting furious at a butt of Malmsey, Amos & Edda ogling a mystery woman together,...

Of course, one episode devoted to the imaginary sex rabbit McTwo could never be enough, right? So we spend another day exploring the world of McTwo. This time, we stay primarily in Juliette & Elliott's bedroom, but that doesn't mean the psychological landscape is any simpler. Far from it. There is such outlandish punctuation abuse, it nearly defies belief. But Brooke McEldowney does in fact us...

So, there's this giant white rabbit named McTwo. He's imaginary and he only shows up during sex. Seems like it was Juliette's burden to carry originally, but lately McTwo has branched out to watch Edda & Amos. But then we discover that he's apparently doing something more than just watching, because he creates a stain on a couch that Edda & Amos can see. So can Edda's roommate Seth, who is...

Brooke McEldowney tells us everything he knows about conception and pregnancy. It's not clear that he understands how any of the experience, especially for the woman, really works. We begin with Juliette showing Edda a useless pamphlet that attempts to explain sex. The very same pamphlet her mother showed her and was not useful to her. Amos & Edda talk about their two possible strategies for c...

Foolishly, I suppose, we thought FOR SURE Brooke McEldowney would make some reference to Halloween in his strip over the years. At the very least, we were expecting the female characters to be dressed as sexy somethings -- painters? pilots? poop emojis? -- but McEldowney gave us nothing. So we soldiered on and explored a half dozen or so strips that ran on Halloween. Edda writes an incomprehensibl...

So there's this whole string of strips where people send off, basically, angry "letters to the editor." Only in this case, it's people or entities that our beloved (?) Chickweed residents have had enough of. Juliette gets mad at the health care system and as a result shoots her computer full of arrows. Someone gets an "unsolicited letter" and throws their computer out of the window. Or the person...

So, the government really did bug Edda's bikini bottoms. And her response to that is to dangle her recently removed bikini from a window to confuse the agents of the Creepy National Furtiveness Agency (you know, the CNFA). Somehow, Edda knows to lower the bikini bottom down to the open window (she knows it's open somehow?) where two children are talking about inflatable office buildings. As if "in...

Just another day in the life of Edda & Amos Van Hoesen, when a simple trip to the pool ends up with Edda hanging by a thread. A rope? A wire? Look, we don't know. She jumps off a diving board with SOMETHING attached to her bikini bottom and she ends up hanging there for about a week's worth of comics. Amos speculates that it has to do with government surveillance, that someone planted a bug in...

In order to fully understand the courtship of Fleurrie & Sven Spocket, we dive into an epic 10-strip sequence. Do we also talk about a handful of strips that we're not supposed to be talking about? Of course we do. Is their "romance" as disgusting and needlessly horny as we expected? Sadly, it is even more so. Yeah. We weren't happy about that either. Speaking of not happy, Brooke promised Jef...

A few listeners had questions and comments, which led us to a week's worth of very confusing strips, even by this ridiculous comic's standard. Our goal was to answer their questions about what in the specific fuck was going on. There was a question about swings, and why the characters were on swings, and how old were they exactly, and also, seriously, what the fuck is up with this goddamned strip....

How do we decide which strips to look at each episode? Brooke uses a very scientific "process of rage." And so this episode we focus on talking about Edda & Amos, the most romantic and perfect couple the modern world has ever seen. What evidence is there of their amazing relationship? Well, Amos goes out of his way to make a terrible pun and Edda either punches him or hip-checks him out of the...

This episode, Brooke brings four completely wordless 9 Chickweed Lane strips to the podcast. Would words have helped some of these strips? I think we all know the answer to that is: Probably not. We discover that Go Comics has three separate sections of this god-forsaken comic: 9 Chickweed Lane , 9 Chickweed Lane Classics, and Staff Favorites. From the Classics category, we see Edda dancing and Ed...

Our long-awaited first episode! Is it the dumbest idea for a podcast? Probably! We talk about our least favorite newspaper comic strip, 9 Chickweed Lane , written and drawn by Brooke (no relation) McEldowney. We kick this journey of rage off with the romance (?) of Thorax and Esme . According to Wikipedia , Thorax is an amiable elderly farmer, who is "brilliant and odd beyond all description." He...

In part two of this three-part horror-fest, we continue to follow the romance (we guess?) of Thorax and Esme . We admit to Brooke McEldowney that we probably just don't get his very, very smart comic strip. Brooke (Dillman, not McEldowney) invents a new word while describing Esme's sudden and aggressive seduction of Thorax, which includes (of course) uncomfortable double entendre, sexy (?) grammar...

In the final part of this three-part horror-fest, we explore the romance (???) of Thorax and Esme . It's been an epic story arc. We recap our journey so far. And eventually end up walking into the ocean along with our May-December (of the following year) couple. Along the way, we awkwardly use the phrase "booty call," investigate Thorax's "bad touch" area, are mystified by hats, welcome a suddenly...