372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

Join the 372 Patreon where all the crazy stuff happens! Get every episode a week early, plus our sub-podcast where we try to solve insane Encyclopedia Brown mysteries, and much more! http://patreon.com/372pages Spoiler: frosting is discussed at some length. As are dreams, and if there’s anything more exciting than hearing about someone else’s dream, I’D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!!...

Thanks to everyone who supported the podcast on Patreon this year. We absolutely would not do it if you weren’t there for us. Join the fun next year! http://patreon.com/372pages We end the year with absolutely blockbuster news. Seriously, a twist so shocking that no cozy writer could ever conceive of it. We won’t spoil it, but we tackle the revelation at the very beginning so be prepar...

Support the podcast on Patreon ! By the time this posts, we’ll already have posted the next episode on there! http://patreon.com/372pages Time to check in with Murphy, Carmen, Ophelia, Uncle Kidd, Marisol, Granddaddy, Aunt Lucy, Aunt Lindy, Darbie Grimes, Darbie Grimes’ mother, three dead husbands killed in an unknown accident, Simon, Lawrence Galloway, Miquel, Douglas, Judge Ed Simpso...

Support the podcast on Patreon where they found out what this book is a week ago! patreon.com/372pages In real time, Mike and Conor select their next book – and we guarantee it will be cozy! Select your hugest, fuzziest slippers (preferably cartoon-based), your giant cup of cocoa, we’re talking soup bowl sized with a handle on the side, and get a fire going, anywhere. Even if you don&#...

Support the podcast on Patreon ! We have a video tier now so you can see us mispronounce things in real time! http://patreon.com/372pages An absolutely epic end to an epic book. Let’s list them off: giant gorillas, chimpanzees, giant ostriches, gigantic komodo-looking dragons, witch princesses in sheer linen gowns: it’s obvious Larry got a little excited and wrote the end of this one....

Support the podcast on Patreon , where you’ll get every episode a week early, extra stuff you can’t get anywhere else, contests, and more! http://patreon.com/372pages Incredible – truly incredible – Larry and Denise stuff in this section. The vast majority of this reading could have been submitted as Real or Fanfic and fooled Mike every time. And speaking of, please listen...

Join the fun on Patreon , where you get every episode a week early, participate in our discord, and get lots of other stuff you can’t get anywhere else. patreon.com/372pages Like jumping into a waterfall and landing in a Nile River of madness, The Adventures of the Teen Archaeologists (Book 1) The Land of the Moepeks by Larry and Denise Ellis does not disappoint. The character names come at...

Join us on Patreon , where every episode comes out a week early and you get to hear all the other bonus stuff we only put on there! And check out “ The Naked Clone ” a book that Mike & Conor co-authored with Kevin, Bill, and Sean from RiffTrax! Yes, a long episode, but this book more than earns it. So much to talk about, so many Real or Fanfics, so many Dumb Sentences, so many slap...

Join the fun on Patreon , where you get every episode a week early and other fun bonus stuff! https://patreon.com/372pages The book is currently unavailable on Amazon , so if you’ve already read your copy, please pay it forward to another listener! To prepare for what we can only assume is an epic reading of Larry and Denise’s The Adventures of the Teen Archeologists (Book 1) The Land...

Help us pick the next book! We’ll be running a poll on the 372 Patreon : http://patreon.com/372pages The Bark Squad wraps up Dodie Smith’s fever nightmare of a sequel in this final episode covering The Starlight Barking. Sirius the Dogstar visits, promising a lifetime of bliss in outer space. Unfortunately, some whiny mangey strays are all like “Uh, no, we like having owners who...

Support the podcast on Patreon and get every new episode a week early PLUS access to our entire archive of five years of bonus material: https://patreon.com/372pages We learn a lot of new things in this episode: mostly Mike is terrible at Real or Fanfic! Seriously, all sorts of new rules about physis and metaphysics are explained, but they all boil down to how terrible Mike is at Real or Fanfic. W...

Support the podcast on Patreon where you can get every episode a week early as well as other fun stuff like Mike trying to solve the world’s most diabolical Encyclopedia Brown mysteries! http://patreon.com/372pages The first full episode of The Starlight Barking goes in, shall we say, some unexpected directions. Lots more talk of pure bloodlines and hastily assembled coups than we expected i...

If you were on Patreon , you’d have known what the new book was a week ago! Join the fun at patreon.com/372pages Let’s figure out what the TWENTY-FIFTH book we’re going to read together will be, but first, Conor quizzes Mike on some direct to VHS Real or Fanfic. Link to buy Book 25: https://amzn.to/3NQG5S7 Reading Assignment : Thru Chapter 4

Be the first to find out what’s next by supporting the podcast on Patreon . You’ll also hear a new subpodcast where Mike tries to solve Encyclopedia Brown mysteries: http://patreon.com/372pages We finished Artemis! And we ranked Artemis as compares to all the other books covered in this podcast: you won’t believe what happens next!! And we’re just going to get ahead of it:...

Join the few, the proud, the jackals and support the podcast on Patreon ! Every episode a week early and other fun stuff: http://patreon.com/372pages The penultimate Artemis episode! Mike’s final attempt at Real or Fanfic has to compete with those red-hot references to Emily Post! Listener’s weigh in and there are Dumb Sentences of the Week. ASSIGNMENT : Finish the damn book!

Join the fun on Patreon , where last week we watched Forrest Gump together, Mike for the very first time! http://patreon.com/372pages Get the book here In this episode: -Spontaneous jackals bearing conspiracy theories -Conor’s appearance on Jeopardy? Premonition? -Insanely difficult Real or Fanfic -Dumb Sentences of the Flexible Time Period -And much more, including this general question for...

Support the podcast on Patreon ! Because of you, Mike watched Forrest Gump for the first time this week! There is nothing that could prepare you for the, ahem, choices Mr. Weir makes in these chapters so may as well dig in.  Though we will say Mike slightly improves his fortunes in Real or Fanfic. Get the book here ASSIGNMENT : Read through chapter 10

Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on patreon ! Get the book here What if Garrett P. Serviss dictated a story to Ernest Cline? We think it would go a little something… like this. Plus a Dark Web appearance by a 372 favorite author and an extremely challenging Real or Fanfic! NEXT ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter 6.

Support the podcast on Patreon , where they’ve known about this new book for a week already! patreon.com/372pages Alright, NOW it’s time for Book 24! This one did very well in our Patreon poll a few years ago, so we’re excited to finally tackle it. But first, Mike listens patiently while Conor rants about Goombas or something. Get the book here Assignment : Read thru Chapter 3&nb...

Find out what our next book is going to be a week before everyone else! Join the 372 Patreon . WOW! Really no words to describe the insane events in the final chapters of Edison’s Conquest of Mars, but we can attempt to sum it up with one syllable; Tom. No Real or Fanfic here but as a bonus you’ll get Conor’s reimagining of this stone classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXmS...

Support the Podcast on Patreon and hear all about the *first* arson Mike committed! Plus get every episode a week early and lots of other non-arson content: http://patreon.com/372pages Martians, space battles, disintegrators, heat rays, murdered crows — the only thing missing from this story? Colonel Alonzo Jefferson Smith! Sylphan harp players! Compressed food, stolen and eaten with great c...

Support the Podcast on Patreon to get every episode a week early and hear fun stuff like our pitches for Groundhog Day themed Cozy Mysteries! Come for the Thrilling Story of an Encounter that Nearly Ended the Great Expedition. Stay for Mike’s Thrilling Performance in Real or Fanfic. If you love the character of Tom. If you can’t get enough of Sylvanus P. Thompson. If Lord Kelvin makes...

Support the podcast on Patreon and get every episode a week early and other fun stuff! Our first reading of Garrett P. Serviss’ Edison’s Conquest of Mars is a real cracker jack, a tip-top lally-cooler!  Truly, an enjoyable book if for nothing more than the action movie quipping of Professor Sylvanus P. Thompson. All the departments are here, as well as a description of Mike’...

Shake off your weighted blanket and put down that spoon you’re licking yogurt off the back of. It’s no longer cozy season, dammit! It’s time for Book 23 and we’ve got a listener recommendation that promises to be absolutely as uncozy as Christmas River was cozy. In fact, we’re not even certain Coziness had been invented when this book came out! Here is gallery of imag...

Support the podcast on Patreon where you’ll get every episode a week early and hear our recaps of the two other cozy Christmas mysteries we read this December! Our final reading Murder in Christmas River answers the deep, impenetrable puzzle at the heart of the book: How many people will show up to a cheesy tourist village the night after a massive three-foot snowstorm to view the judging of...