Zero Credit(s)

Listeners, we are on the cusp of some of the greatest changes we could ever fathom in our society. Changes that may be the end of life as we know it, but not in like a sense that means everything dies or anything like that, just that life as we know it would be different and thus ended. Henry and John tackle the serious issues this episode, issues that no one else seems to be talking about. While...

Shhhh! Halt your noises! This is a sneaky-beaky episode of Zero Credit(s) because John’s S.O. is asleep 13 inches away and John has very poor time management skills. The boys quietly contemplate the diminishing returns of loyalty to a single company, which is something both of them have been thinking A LOT about lately. From there, John stealthily thrills Henry with a tryptic (?) detailing t...

Howdy folks, we’re back from our Fourth of July Break with a new episode for your thirsty, thirsty ears. Speaking of fireworks, aren’t they one of the weirdest approximations of war we use to celebrate how free from war we are? Or are we free at all? Hm. We then talk Wolff’s Law as John and Henry pledge to be the strongest, most adaptive things on the planet, and hopefully in a g...

The Boys discuss The Big Boys for this week’s Supplemental Reading of Australian absurdist comedy troupe Aunty Donna. That’s right, an entire episode dedicated to absurdist Australian comedy troupe men Aunt Donny. Henry and John get right down to brass tacks and get their listeners the answers they’ve been yearning for: whether you pronounce the second A in SamuAl, how many peopl...

It’s a personal week here at Zero Credit(s) as the Henry and John head into the depths of recent loss and the process of insurance claim procedure for the tragic demise of Henry’s Scion Tc. This discussion naturally leads to Austin, TX, as all roads do, where we find the ZC boys have spent quite a lovely weekend together in the blazing heat that is the Austin Summer of 100 Degrees. Som...

Everybody who’s has ever entertained the idea of entering into an exclusive something something alliteration John has to leave now it’s a good episode trust me bye love you.  

Hey listeners. Henry and John managed to both see a movie within a week of it coming out. Isn’t that cool? We’ve got thoughts about this particular film. Directed by Patty Jenkins, starring Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Robin Wright, etc, this movie promises a superhero action from a different perspective and it delivers hard. Bullets bouncing off bracers and thoughts slinging out of mouths a...

It’s fidget spinner o’clock on this culturally frozen episode of Zero Credit(s), and Henry and John are gonna dig deep. The specter of famed actor Terry Crews darkens the ZC doorstep once again this week, haunting the boys with visions of furniture and happiness. His specter is no match, however, for that of the Time Ghost, but the crew dispatches that ghoul just the same by wondering...

Listeners, Henry’s been getting headaches every day this week and headaches put Henry in a mental fog. You won’t be able to tell, since he is a performer, after all, but deep down in his head there lies the ebbing of an ache that dulls the senses to anything that’s not a slightly throbbing pain. And John’s here to pick up some of Henry’s slack. So this episode is a bi...

In their latest bid to obtain magic genie powers, Henry (Dave Schehazared) and John (Florence Grimble) cook up a harebrained new holiday: Monkey Japes. Join them as they tell a series of meaningless lies all in the name of sweet exotic magic. Move over Justin Arbor Day and Mr. Boston Cream Pie Day, these fellas are shakin’ it up. Much like John is shakin’ up his career with supplementa...

Woah howdy there, ya’ll, it’s time for the Zero Credit(s) Round Up! All the Gang’s here. Henry. John. The Sexy Executive Officer. We’ve got them all and they’ve got some grand ole fun for you, Dear Listener. It all starts when John explains that life is all just one big drinking game where you have to wager whether your card is black or red. Yep, that’s all life...

Zero Credit(s) VR Experience Patch Notes 05/05/2017 – Fixed issue with horses – Nobility has been reduced – Added full simulation of cold medicine – Improved writing of Christopher Nolan – No longer possible to wiggle and fall through the earth – Dreams may be closer than they appear – Removed final rogue podcast – Removed Marc Maron from simulation...

It’s been a while since the last Supplemental Reading. 20 years, in fact. We’ve grown old. Our healing factors don’t work quite as well and the claws still hurt every time they come out. Come listen to John and Henry discuss the movie that’s so good, it hurts to watch. Every second is filled with pain. The movie’s pretty pain filled too. Be warned as there’s no...

The drums beat out a crisp beat, urging their soldiers forward. Bom, bom bom bom. The microscopic soldiers have marched for two weeks without rest, laying siege to John’s immune system. They’ve sieged the nose, razed the throat, and left the stomach a burned husk, and yet they drive on. How much longer could this war go on, they wonder. Their wives are lonely. Their children are hungry...

John has a fatal secret in this episode that he doesn’t reveal until it’s too late. Seriously, we discuss robot cookbooks fueled by neural network learning, including Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake and Chocolate Chips with Chocolate Chips, and the entire time John is harboring a secret that could threaten the very existence of the podcast. We even change topics to The Leg...

Listeners, it’s been a heck of a week and to top it all off, I (Henry) have to go into work today, which is Saturday. I work hard during the week. I like to think I earn my weekend. I put in 40+ hours, but that’s not enough. No. Here’s more hours during my weekend. So this episode is late. That’s all I want to say. We talk about stuff. Here’s an episode. Let’s d...

Greetings listener, to this weary episode of Zero Credit(s)! Henry and John crawl out of their respective corporate holes to deliver a bold prediction: capitalism will persist for six more weeks. That doesn’t stop John from getting uncharacteristically fired-up about Lucha Libre, though, as he schools Henry on the finer points of the seedy action of Lucha Underground. Ever wondered how high...

Welcome back, listeners, to Season Two. This time around, we’ve got loads of things to talk about, from Furby bug reports to representing women in film in this brash new string of 80’s and 90’s revived franchises. Should women always be represented as the tough warriors we see them as in films constantly? Maybe. Or should films follow the more general guideline of let ________ be...

“The World’s Greatest Podcast 2017” Season 2 is live, listeners. Henry and John have cleaned the old Zero Credit(s) Lodge up a little bit, but they smashed most of the lights and threw out some precious segments. A darker, more streamlined abode awaits you beyond the threshold. Should you choose to enter, you would be delighted by the semi-informed critiques of the American healthcare system...

It’s time, Dear listeners. Time for season one of your favorite, time-honored podcast to come to a rapid and satisfying(?) close. All the plot lines come rushing in to a gooey, cupcake-filled singularity in a way that will both thrill, shock, and discomfort you. In traditional TV-style, we’re not pulling any of our punches for this, the last episode of the current season. Someone will...

> enter zero credits You haul your worryworn carcass across the threshold of another Zero Credit(s) episode. To the EAST there is a hairdresser, starved for conversation. To the NORTH there is happiness. To the WEST there is a Literary Canon. What do you do? > w The Literary Canon is stuffed with misplaced aggression toward Walden. To the EAST there is an episode of Zero Credit(s). > fire literary...

It’s all sports this week, folks, so buckle on those pads and strap in that chin protector part of the helmet, cause things are about to get real foot-ball tough. In a spectacular copyright dodging special, Henry and John discuss all the basics of foot-ball, including the rules and regulations that give John the ole Blue 42 run-around. OMAHA. We then dive into the high thrilling halftime bef...

Voip voip! It’s another Internet Transmission Day from Zero Credit(s)! We’ve got it all* on this week’s episode! Give it a listen! *The word “all” in this context is exclusive only to things related and applying to: misuse of the word “anagram,” nested acronym pedantry, Dungeons and Dragons creative writing, authorship and the authorship of podcast hosts, meaningless careers filled with yearning f...

Through the old rusted pipes of Skype come we, dear Listeners, in this episode of our time-honored podcast. Henry and John are charged up and drop some politically charged knowledge about the state of our nation, the people in charge of it, and how not tolerating “alternative facts” is the new Uncle Sam. They then rewrite the Spiderman theme to better reflect the eight-eyed supervillia...

Join Henry and John as they venture into The Cyber, having left their physical forms behind. In this new digital age, old standards of discourse are a relic of times gone by, leaving The Cyber Boys to blast open the flood gates of Internet Babies, Regular Babies, and the monetization of babies. In what might be the most unwittingly ironic event of 2017 (thus far), John openly discusses his desire...