The Psychology of your 20s

When we experience healthy love for the first time after years of unsettling, unhealthy, toxic relationships, one of the first reactions we can have is "why does this feel so boring?" Often we confuse safety with a lack of passion, or assume that just because this person doesn't activate our nervous system, we are missing the spark. This is often left over from past relationships where we have con...

As the holiday season approaches so does the expectation to start seeing family, including difficult family members who you would rather avoid. In today's episode we are joined by Alexis Fernandez, the host of the show Do You F***ing Mind, to gain a better understanding of how we can navigate those who we may be related to by blood but have a hard time being around, including:  Narcissistic parent...

Impulse shopping in an experience we've all had, the feeling of buying something you know you don't really need, but you want it desperately in the moment. Often during this decade we begin earning "adult money" for the first time and that means we can begin spending as a way to emotional regulate. Had a bad day? Buy a new pair of shoes. Been through a breakup? Shopping spree. There are so many wa...

We all know the feeling of going on a few dates with someone and, suddenly, you're unable to stop checking your phone for messages, wondering when they're free, imagining the wedding, your future kids. And then we are left depleted, ghosted or disappointed. This is what happens when we romanticise the idea of someone, engage in fantasy bonding and it can often end up sabotaging the relationship. I...

Often when we think about sex, we only think about the physical. We only think about the other person's enjoyment or what sex should   look like rather than what it could look like. Many of us have a very outdated understanding of what good, even great sex feels like and even less of an idea around how to achieve greater levels of pleasure and intimacy. In today's episode, we bring on the incredib...

Confidence truly is the secret to a better life: better friendships, better self esteem, better dates, better romance, better career success. Today, we are joined by the iconic, Tiff Baira known best for her show "Street Hearts NYC", her role as a matchmaker and model, as we explore how having certainty in your worth is the key to your dream life.  We break down the equation for true, undeniable c...

In 2021, Ellie Middelton received a diagnosis of ADHD and autism at the age of 23. It was one of the best things that happened to her. Today, she joins us to discuss why neurodivergence is typically overlooked in women, the misconceptions we have about ADHD and autism, unmasking and how to navigate a diagnosis later in life. She also discusses how to manage neurodivergence in our 20s, why self dia...

Do you ever feel like you need to be perfect, that you are responsible for the emotions of others, you’re the organiser in the friendship group, highly self reliant, an overachiever, constantly being told your mature for your age? I would make a good guess that you are the eldest daughter.  In today's episode we break down the psychology behind 'eldest daughter syndrome' and how birth order and ge...

Living in sharehouses in our 20s are like their own weird, social experiment. We put together a group of people with different upbringings, personalities, lifestyles and standards under one roof and expect it to work out. Sometimes it does, other times it doesn't and we see social harmony break down. In today's episode we discuss:  The four styles of roommates The Cinderella Roommate  The psycholo...

Attractiveness and beauty is something we all inevitably find ourselves considering. We question whether we would be happier if we lost weight, would find love if our skin was better, would be more successful if we looked more like her or him. Our obsession with beauty is psychological and deeply rooted in our biology and evolution as a species. In today's episode we break down the existence of pr...

In our 20s there are four things we worry about more than anything else: love, money, the future, and our friendships. As we grow and change, the relationships around us will also naturally change and we may begin to notice how we are seeing our friends less and less, watching certain friendships fizzle out or completely outgrowing each other. It's not the same as it once was. This can cause a lot...

Have you ever had the experience of leaving a conversation and feeling like something you said was off, you sounded weird, you were awkward, worrying about what this person may think of you? This experience is much more common than we think and in today’s episode we break down the psychology behind why we replay conversations, exploring: Rumination The illusion of control Social approval Hypervigi...

In this week's episode we discuss the curse of being an overachiever. Society celebrates us for our successes, for our ability to work hard, push ourselves and constantly be the best. But this sometimes has contradictory consequences whereby the more we invest in our achievements, the less satisfaction and fulfillment we feel. We break down the paradox of being an overachiever and explore:  The im...

We all know the feeling of wanting desperately to move on from someone - an ex, a past love, situationship, someone we know we shouldn't be with - but being unable to stop obsessively thinking about them. In this episode we explore the psychology behind why that is, but also how to get to the next stage of healing where you are free of the past memories, thoughts and your feelings for this person....

Envy is ingrained into our human psyche, each and every one of us has, at times, compared ourselves to someone who has more, or possesses a quality or a level of success that we don't, and felt that familiar spike of pain. In today's episode we break down the psychology behind envy, and why it reflects a deeper insecurity in ourselves we are not ready to recognise. We explore:  The prevalence of e...

Dating in our 20s can feel like a minefield, a lot of people don't know what they want, what they like, we get ghosted, we get stood up, and then there are the first dates. First dates can feel intimidating but today we are breaking down my 10 tips to have the best first dates of your life. By adopting the mindset that you are there to learn more about yourself and have a fun experience, we take f...

Dr David Rosmarin is an Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School and the founder of the Centre for Anxiety. Today he joins us on the podcast to discuss how we are getting anxiety WRONG as we break down a new approach to managing our anxiety, rather than approaching it with fear. For anyone who is anxious or has battled anxiety in their 20s and beyond, join us for a vulnerable conversation of...

Today we're having a candid chat about how I'm going. How I'm really going! We discuss imposter syndrome, why I've been putting way too much pressure on myself as of late and in the lead up to 2024 and why that has manifested in some serious burnout and illness (don't mind my Covid voice). I also break down my struggles with being disliked, particularly online and how we can manage and redirect th...

Putting off a task to the last minute might feel good in the moment, but it often leads to a lot of long term consequences and stress. In today's episode we discuss the psychology behind why we procrastinate. Procrastination is often confused with laziness and poor time management, but its so much more than that. Many of us are chronic procrastinators because of factors like:  Boredom Perfectionis...

Our relationship with food is so much more psychological then it appears to be, and the evidence for that can be seen with emotional eating. Sometimes we eat as a way to process or regulate our emotions, rather than from actual hunger. This can disrupt our relationship with food and lead us to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. In today's episode, we discuss:  The psychology behind emotional eat...

You're dating someone new and suddenly, they show up to a date wearing crocs, or wear goggles to the beach and you get the ick. You immediately lose all attraction to them, you feel the immediate need to end the relationship, why is that? In this episode we break down some of the surprising psychology behind the ick, including the links to our intuition, emotional unavailability, rejection sensiti...

The post graduation blues can leave us feeling incredibly anxious, aimless and stuck, battling with the question of 'what next'? We are faced with a number of significant changes and transitions such as increasing distance between us and our friends, financial anxiety and having to make significant career decisions. All of this can culminate is a sense of choice overload and paralysis, but also a...

Taylor Swift is possibly the most famous person in the world right now, beloved by millions, streamed by billions, her eras tour may have even saved the US economy. What is it about her as an artist, a celebrity and a person that is so uniquely captivating? How has she continued to reach new heights, new fans and achieve such career longevity? And why do so many of us feel an emotional connection...

We have all had that experience of feeling bored with our everyday life, whereby we look around and our daily experiences have lost some of the colour and excitement. Why is that the case? Psychology can provide some explanations including:  A lack of novelty and new experiences Seasonal affective disorder  Overstimulation from our phones and social media  Social comparison  The benefits of a dopa...

On today's episode we bring on the wonderful, Katy Bellotte, to discuss everything love, dating and relationship in our 20s. We discuss what it feels like to have never had a relationship in your 20s, the milestone anxiety and societal pressure that makes us to feel like we need to settle for someone we're not fully committed to, feeling behind and what it feels like to finally find the one. Katy...