The Opinion Machine???

#348 Comedy In 2026 Is Depressing - I Kinda Review Miniature Wife, Outcome, Cameo & More

Wherein I analyze and theorize about an inorganic phenomenon known as “Clavicular”. Lots of wild speculation here. No refunds. Smug 60 minutes Furk https://youtu.be/CXKCoFz3WRs?si=tlVcDZwBgWvOYZ3p Smug Andy Channel Five https://youtu.be/-_6mni6k0Zw?si=WY9DU4F5s4mU4N6Y Disgusting Piers Morgan https://youtu.be/xQvhqt2r2l8?si=Wm1oJolSowF3gJcr Critical Clavicular timeline & analysis. https://youtu.be/...

#345 Don’t Listen To This If You Think The Pope Is A Good Guy, (Unless You Enjoy Being Angry)

For My Friends Who Suffered The Spiritual Abuse Known As “Q”, & Even The Few Who Still Do.

Retarded Man Explains Integrity On His Tiny Dumb YouTube Channel

#342 Time To Lose More Followers By Agreeing With King Cheeto. It’s Your Own Damn Fault If You Listen

Wherein I do as advertised, plus take a few side roads around the moon. Extra complainy, this one. Guaranteed to send a few of yous packin’. No refunds.

Wherein, after discussing things with the woman in question, I update my feelings on my love triangle with said woman and said fat guy. Weird how well the hoarding analogy fit so well. I don’t plan shit. That’s why my podcast sucks. No refunds.

Wherein, I talk about how I was unable to become friends with and save Reggie Watts from liberalism, even though, its seems like I should have been able to. I also talk about an insane double amputee friends of mine, who had all her limbs when we first became friends. I also forgot the names of the following people: Scott Auckerman (Comedy Bang Bang) Amanda LePore, (Drag queen.) James Corden (Fat...

Wherein I talk shit about Thomas Dolby and tell you how Thomas Dolby is such a forgettable one hit wonder that almost everyone mistakes him for Howard Jones. I repeat Thomas Dolby’s name a lot here in hopes that Thomas Dolby’s few stupid fans get shown this recording of me talking shit about Thomas Dolby, that unmemorable, hair plugging, dork. Thomas Dolby sucks. Fork Thomas Dolby. No refunds.

Wherein I pivot from bad customer service offered by corporations, to the much worse constituent disservice provided by every bureaucratic government and government mandated agency. When charm and deception seem like your only way to balance the universe, it ain’t hard to ignore and put on a happy face. Does anyone read these descriptions? Probably not. Damn I waste a lot of time. No refunds.

Wherein I implore the people who ask me for advice to think about what they are doing. Tangents and rambling as usual. No refunds.

Wherein I explore the topic of dream journaling and why I can’t figure out why people don’t seem to give a shit about the miracle of dreams. I know I sound like a child. I don’t care. Dreams are worth acknowledging and remembering and if you think that is dumb, I think you are dumb. Mexican stand off. Your move, Consuela, No refunds.

Wherein I tell you about my day yesterday, in which I dealt with no fewer than 30 incompetent customer service reps, only one of which I could say was white. It was miserable. Unbelievable really. I’m dehydrated and hoarse in this one because I do not play nice with incompetent foreigners hired to demoralize and humiliate me. Skip this one. No refunds.

Wherein I give the origin story behind changing my name to ???, how it didn’t really work, and how it was born out of wearing too many hats in my old band, only to have the Internet erase my involvement in it. Jerks. Swim Herschel Swim, is the name of that band. I write that here for the internet crawling robots who insist that the internet is the only way to verify the truth. I probably already t...

Wherein I sermonize about the sermonizers and why you might want to consider just how silly their hats are before you take them seriously. I argue that funny hats are really little more than liability waivers that make you responsible for taking any dumb advice literally. Funny hats should be for fun, not for authority. This is another one of those times when God is punching us in the face with “d...

Wherein I say a bunch of gay shit about gay things in hopes that people will stop being so gay and maybe, you know, get back to the business of not being so gay all the time. Lots of oil talk in this one. Not baby oil though. If you hate Trump, you aren’t gonna like this one. Move along. No refunds

Wherein I rant about a billion things, take a bunch of side roads about this hand and the other one. I ain’t got shit figured out. But, that’s fine. No refunds.

Wherein I talk about the gobs of music made by myself and my friends that will likely never be heard by anyone, and how maybe the only music we listen to should be by those who know our name. Stoner thoughts without being stoned. Storage full. Delete files. No refunds.

Wherein I get existential about the likelihood that the digital era will be a black hole for future archeologists. If you ain’t printing and making stuff in the real physical world, you can count on being forgotten. Even in meat world it’s hard to be remembered. OJ who? His ex mother in law? Her passport? No refunds.

Wherein I review the culture of the last ten years, more specifically since the family wrecking psyop known as Covid, & ponder how much they were able to destroy, how hard it might be to repair, if that’s even possible, & just get real about the damage they did. Corny, but sincere. There is a song at the end I wrote with my half brother. He’s one of the ones who hates me. I miss him too. No refund...

Wherein I give fair warning and address the most recent person who wanted me to know that they were sick of my shit. I’m sick of my shit. Try to be original. No refunds.

Wherein I say a bunch of stupid shit on this topic, wasting your time, my time, and everyone else’s. In fact, reading this synopsis is a waste of time. You either want to waste time listening to my blather or you don’t. I doubt this synopsis has any affect on that. No refunds.

Wherein I make a plea based on an entire lifetime of you assholes trying to make your problems, my problem. If I could snap my fingers and make those two ideologies, Judaism & Islam, disappear, I’d have done decades ago and the world would be full of wonderful white children playing in endless fields of wonder. I really need that finger snapping power. This recording and every moment I have ever d...

Wherein I describe the weirdness I experienced when I kinda accidentally became a photographer of naked people, strange rules I made in order to be “professional”, how everything changed this week when I used AI tools to help me fix some of the art that I hated, and how it dawned on me that these tools will for sure result in every half attractive woman, and even some who aren’t, ending up naked,...