The Greatest Generation

When the Entrepreneur goes looking for a long-lost colony, they find a group of cafeteria Novans living in real Star Trek caves. But when the dumb-dumbs can’t understand why they’re slowly becoming irradiated, moving them to another continent soothes Captain Archer’s vanity. When does Malcolm Reed win? Why is the Hungarian rec basketball team so fragrant? What’s going to be good for the health of...

When Commander Tucker gets assigned to fix an alien ship, he finally chills out and starts smelling the grass. But when his unexpected pregnancy is more Junior than Aliens, not even a girlfriend shirt could hide the pregnant person tropes. Where does a pantsless dance club rank on a list of first impressions? Who has the standards and practices memo on those nips? What would make Enterprise 2,000%...

When there’s a big blue dot outside the Entrepreneur’s windows, Captain Archer can’t resist taking a team down to trample the Strange New World. But when camping Trip Tucker turns into acid Trip Tucker, T’Pol plays along for her chance to shoot him in the chest. Whose hair is an extra character in this story? Which Star Trek patter is not 5 by 5? Where is Archer currently on the likability scale?...

When the crew of the Entrepreneur is already bored, finding a haunted house vessel seems worth strapping up to explore. But when the horror show inside makes Hoshi’s bad day worse, the world’s smallest space explosion won’t save them from their globulin. Why exactly is Sluggo not well? In what way is Captain Archer like an aging relative? How do you play the America’s Test Kitchen drinking game? I...

When Captain Archer takes advantage of a diplomatic incident to get his new crew their first deep space mission, no one gets along with the Vulcan science officer assigned to be their chaperone. But when some squishy aliens kidnap a Klingon from Enterprise, T’Pol must take command to get the mission over the finish line. How bizarre is a sci-fi bazaar at this point? Which sandwich resembles Trip T...

When Voyager wrapped up leaving everyone wanting more, pitching some spicy alternate endings could have avoided the All Good Things comparison. But if there’s no extra time to make a finale truly great, expectations shouldn’t be too high for for a Star Trek podcast either. Why exactly is local news suffering? How did the writers’ room launder Neelix’s character? Whose personal development was the...

When Admiral Janeway has the sads on the anniversary of Voyager’s homecoming, she decides time travel is the best way to do a finale. But when Captain Janeway spreads the cheeks of a Borg-infested nebula, only vase face could decide the outcome of another shortcut home. Who needs to check for flight simulator updates? How did the loaf constrain the stakes? What’s at the bottom of the PAW Patrol ki...

When Dr. Mark is forced to go undercover by the Overlookers, he starts impersonating his colleagues and almost incites a mutiny. But when a kidnapped Captain Janeway would rather be sacrificed than saved, Dr. Mark goes eggy and doesn’t wait for a second opinion before making his confessions. What makes for a bad fire season in Southern California? Who is doing Voyager’s safety audits? Why does Tom...

When Voyager finds Talaxians living in a rock, the Delta Flyer crashes there just in time for a demolition notice. But when Dexa and Brax take a liking to Neelix, he helps them draw a line in the regolith that only a Prime Directive breach could resolve. Which is the rarest Yeager? Do these Talaxians need an Iceland app? What’s the best way to avoid dancing at a wedding? It’s the episode that’s al...

When a shuttle trip to a conference takes a predictable turn, Chakotay and Seven find themselves in an environment where the only way to make lifesaving inventions is out of household materials. But when Tom Paris gets forced to go to traffic school, he’ll have to sacrifice points on his license to save the day. Is it okay to call young people ‘primitive’? Can you start a fire with juice and rocks...

When Voyager gets a mission from Admiral Philip Baker Hall, Harry Kim tracks down the ancient probe on an irradiated planet. But when the away team encounters bagMEN on the surface who give the Vidiians a run for their money, all it takes is some medical treatment and odor eaters to make their planet habitable again. Which adjustment might be too nippular for the costume department? Who has a doll...

When Voyager starts communicating in real time with the A-Quad, Dr. Mark takes the opportunity to deeply offend his colleagues. But when he’s finally convinced to revise his work, an episode within an episode barely has time to make any good law. Which vessel is ideal for champagne consumption? When is it ok to stop trying to hook new viewers? What does “let me know what you think” actually mean?...

When it’s take your nepo child to work day, the lil’est De Lancie shows up on Voyager. But when Aunt Kathy’s new curriculum doesn’t set the boy straight, continuum-level consequences finally get through to him in the end. How did this episode affect Keegan De Lancie’s career? Is there a Cal Hudson scale for disappointed dad? Who does LeVar Burton need to avoid at a conference? It’s the episode whe...

When a satellite catches Red October in Polijarny inlet, Jack Ryan starts earning Sky Miles faster than he can spend them. But when he upstages the overhead projector guy in a high level briefing, he gets stuck trying to figure out exactly how the Soviet sub captain plans to ‘dump’ his crew. Why is Admiral Greer handcuffed to that creep? Will Seaman Jones find the stealth sub before his antiquated...

When Seven goes for the record on the holodeck instead of staying at her post, Voyager takes heavy damage and the simulation starts overloading her brains. But when she’s caught in the act by Dr. Mark, he introduces her to the idea of work/life balance but fails to admonish her terrible crimes. What do you get when you pimp the toast? Which slash fiction did this story inspire? How has Star Trek f...

When BLT’s abduction goes bad, it’s up to Neelix to remind her that the life she used to have on Voyager is better than the one she has now. But when Chakotay attempts to  make the same case with Captain Janeway, her new lover could lose more than his security deposit. How much water does it take to qualify as a wet cohost? Is there any limit to what a desperate person would do for love? What can...

When most of the crew finds gainful employment on a planet with great public transportation, everyone seems to enjoy their new jobs, though no one can remember how they got there. But when Commander Mark and his minions track down the missing crew, their behavior gets creepy and with no memory of Voyager, their suspicions are hard to overcome. Does the UK have its own meat nectar? What’s the falle...

When Voyager gets sucked through a donut hole and into a void, it’s another space mugging and the crew has no way out. But when Captain Janeway starts building an alliance by giving away the store, her principles cause a stir but ultimately earn her some valuable new friends. How do you know when it’s door day? Does Garon have a passion outside of work? What could Neelix do to actually improve mor...

When Voyager finds a D7 full of very religious Klingons, they blow up their ship after learning BLT is pregnant. But when the fetus’ DNA also cures their deadly virus, the nearest barren planet looks perfect for their new empire. When is cleaning up poop like wiping your nose? Which drink is in honor of Dr. Star Trek? What did Kahless like to eat for breakfast? It’s the episode with a new ship’s s...

When Voyager gets involved in an execution milk run, Tuvok shoots the hostage and starts building the cellblock of his dreams. But when Dr. Mark talks Seven into a nanoprobe donation, a killer with a new conscience only deepens her need for atonement. Who always looks like he’s on an emotional knife’s edge? What’s the secret to a great Keanu? Which was the hardest job of Yediq’s entire career? It’...

When an unforced error by John Torres makes BLT react badly to her new parasite, she’d rather go Gattaca in the holo research lab than listen to the people who care about her. But when she reprograms Dr. Mark to schism her in sicksbay, the suction cups come out and only childhood trauma can earn her forgiveness. What do gender reveal parties look like on a Federation starship? Who’s the morale off...

When Voyager gets hit by a chronometric banger, no one but Chakotay can move from shard to shard. But when he takes bun Janeway hostage and starts rebuilding her a bathtub, Seska stands in the way of restoring the correct timeline. Does Darwin the dog have a favorite movie? What makes a holiday puzzle diabolical? Who on the ship needs really good spatial reasoning? It’s the episode that has Kazon...

When the Mornhammered continues and Dr. Mark is in deep, his poor judgement with the holos puts BLT at risk. But when Iden starts going from candle store to cult leader, the Doc Kivas Fajos him for yet another disciplinary conversation with Captain Janeway. What’s the hydroxychloroquine of the Biden administration? Is there anything worse than flesh-colored tights? Does Paramount+ do anything well...

When Dr. Mark gets swiped by a group of social holo-justice warriors, their vision for living free from Hirogen harassment puts him on the lookout for volleyball and colloidal silver. But when a double-barrel episode of Voyager proves too much for one Mornhammered episode to contain, Greatest Gen history gets made live on videotape. Which type of drink never gives head? Why aren’t all Hirogens ten...

When Harry Kim talks his way into command of baby’s first away mission, his Nick Burns approach to management is doing no one any favors. But when Icheb misunderstands BLT’s interest in rock climbing for romance, he tries to let her down easy after blowing up his scanner in a very steamy Jeffries tube. Do starship windows have emergency levers? Who isn’t taking advantage of the luxury of cilantro?...