So Very Wrong About Games

Let us not, as the saying goes, hold the perfect in opposition to the good. We here at SVWAG always encourage the lowering of standards, which the hosts tend to do by their very presences--dragging down the average of any group of which they are a part. We offer but a portion of an episode, but let us be optimists and observe that that allows us to be less wrong.01:34 AYURIS: Versailles 1919 (Geof...

The range of new features our merch line has opened up is endless. Who wore it better?, SVWAG Hypebeast, Project Runway SVWAG, Making the Cut SVWAG, the possibilities abound! Get me Tim Gunn on the line, I'm sure he's heard of us. I'm sure we'll see His Grace, Professor Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, esq. O.B.E. in a t-shirt two sizes too small before long. 01:07 AYURIS: Imperial Struggle...

Much art is discussed this week, from French Romantics, to pirate stuff, to conspiracist vision boards, to whatever Walker is doing when he uses clothespins on felt. Mark wonders whether he can justify leaving in dead air and calling it "bold use of negative space," but the deeper worry is that too many people would prefer the silence. Games Played Last Week:01:14 -Ark Nova (Mathias Wigge, Feuerla...

We're always on the lookout for new potential taglines here at SVWAG, as our earlier efforts "that one where the guy talks to that dude" and "we shout into a can so you don't have to" have been deemed insufficient. "We like it hard" was put forth by Walker, but the editorial staff are afraid it is apt to be misconstrued. "We weaponize children" was rejected for the opposite reason, namely that it...

We are Canadian, and thus must perforce apologize for those we may have slandered, misquoted, or used their name in vain: Warmboy, Alan Turing, Dewey, Peggy Lee, Dick Pound, Bruno Faidutti, and His Grace, Professor Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, esq. O.B.E. We are honoured to have inadvertently tarnished the reputations of such grandees. Games Played Last Week:00:52 -The Quest for El Dorad...

It is a strange thing for one's hobby to be utterly infused with a nominally competitive structure. I would venture to say that knitters, for instance, devote precious little thought as to whether they can knit more or less well than their fellow crafters. Perhaps it is different for scrapbookers, I don't know, they seem like a ruthless lot.01:16 AYURIS: Aristeia! (Alberto Abal, Jesús Fuster, & Da...

The So Very Wrong About Games line of Action Princess Dolls (TM) are coming to a store near you! Thrill to all your favourite characters, like Huey, Dewey, and Louis, each with weird monochromatic accessories and some spring-loaded gimmick that'll bruise some kid in Oregon and thus be regulated into weaksauce! Plus, get the Kingston Action Playset. Your parents put it together, batteries not inclu...

No, dear listener, we haven't played that one regional trick-taking game popular in the Adirondacks where the only red card is the 9 of diamonds and you play counter-clockwise and the bid is called in pig latin and you have to wear your socks on your hands. I'm sure it's a blast. We are but tourists in the wide world of taking tricks, and to some extent it can be a hobby unto itself. Contract Brid...

It's a star-studded eleganza extravaganza, featuring your two least-favourite SVWAG hosts giving you an incomplete capsule summary of a terrible year of great games. Of course, they neglected to play That One Game, of course, which means that all their observations are utterly useless, but how does that differentiate this episode from any other? This offering is more classy, however, as in a conce...

In the 14th Century B.C.E., the pharaoh Akhenaten attempted to shift Egypt into monotheism centered on the cult of the god Aten. Apparently there's some who argue it was possibly instead henotheism, whereby many gods are acknowledged but one is elevated above the others--a claim advanced about many ostensibly mono- or polytheistic religions, even some practised today--but at any rate is was except...

Some things, of course, from Josie and the Pussycats have aged poorly. The idea of "record stores" and CDs (that could, in turn sell out like they were PS5s or something) is downright quaint--especially given the format of this show. I'm pretty confident that the cultural moment of Moviefone Guy has well and truly passed, despite the continued use of both movies and phones. Do people still know wh...

The hosts are, briefly, back in the same room again, and this has had the unfortunate effect of bringing out the very worst in Mark. Don't worry, he doesn't spend ten minutes complaining about the implied political claims of kids' shows, but his mind naturally went to the gutter of abominable puns. You have been warned. Games Played Last Week:01:16 -On Mars (Vital Lacerda, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 202...

We skip over substantial portions of our hosts' stories, of course. No mention is made of Walker's extensive experience with Gilbert & Sullivan. Mark's stint as the Official Pokémon Master of Canada is glossed over. The deep tribal conflict of Jocks versus Geeks, of which Walker is destined to be the bridge (think Dune but even more messianic), is only alluded to. Someday, the whole story might be...

We have become feature-hungry here at SVWAG. We debut Walker's Language Corner which, let us be frank, is not apt to be repeated, especially given Walker's aversion to dead languages. We finally name a recurring segment that has been airing unaccredited for years, and we have dubbed in Mark's Rage Theatre. It is Festivus every day of the year, and Mark has some grievances to air. Games Played Last...

One of the great tragic modern misapprehensions of history is the blanching of fascism. It seems that people can watch Attack on Titan and play with their space marines, and simply because there are no swastikas to be found they assume that there are no connections to fascistic ideology contained therein. This is one of the reasons why we so appreciate the humble cucumber sandwich--we would assert...

Sometimes your devotion and enthusiasm doesn't translate into research or comprehensiveness. Case in point, dear listeners--The Legend of Korra, a franchise Walker introduced to Mark, is one that Walker loves but--shocker!--is one he has only seen but half of. It is revealed during Mark's unhinged ramblings about he would have "fixed" season 3 that Walker is utterly unfamiliar with what he's talki...

"Planned obsolescence" is not just an economic term, it is a way of life for some companies. It is the practice of deliberately making a sold item frail or of limited use until it is unfashionable; this forces the consumer to replace it sooner than they would otherwise. Analysts tell us that it is best deployed by oligopolies to increase their sales volume. Completely unrelatedly, we talk about Ga...

This topic was suggested by Penn State law professor Jacob Schuman, although let us be perfectly clear that he does not necessarily endorse any of the views expressed. I mean, if Justices Breyer and/or Alito heard us impugn their oracular insights, no doubt we would be put on blast; much like those terrible journalists for having the sheer gall to posit that judges are, well, human and all. Perish...

We are dangerously approaching peak culture here on SVWAG. In addition to Masterpiece Theatre, we have the return of the pie ranking system, plus now music tie-ins for Arkhipov Day. Could a wine section be far behind? Well, actually, Mark labels most of Walker's in-game comments the wine section. You see?! Yet more culture! Games Played Last Week:01:53 -Tidal Blades: Heroes of the Reef (Tim Eisner...

It was a thrill to have a pan-Anglo alliance together to raise money for Food Banks Canada, with many current or prior Commonwealth countries represented either on the stream or in the donations. That is globalism we can get behind here at SVWAG. That said, let us make our next planned fundraising endeavour yet more international: a Kickstarter campaign to fund Mark's acquisition of a Ferrari Port...

In case you missed it, we have now offered to the series of tubes the definitive website for all your non-porn non-cat needs. Sowronggames.com is your official repository for all things SVWAG, including all of our episodes, editorial policies, the full Swagoo, and definitions of all the arcane cant of the show (such as Swagoo). Excellent for neophytes and long-time Svwaggers alike. Unlike other we...

All right, we need to talk about Sokka. Another staple of kid's shows is often The Annoying One. I don't know why, but they're often there. Steven Universe had Ronaldo, but they knew to use him sparingly. Sokka is so aggressively obnoxious in the first two episodes it is a miracle anyone makes it to episode three. He could have just been the complainer, but additionally his monumental and gratuito...

We have seen the future, and it is now. We have fired up our Netscape Navigator, and interfaced the hypertext protocol over at Geocities, and made us our very own webzone. Maybe soon we'll be able to set up an FTP server for our episodes. We will register on every web ring we can find, whether it's about Sailor Moon or Tamagotchi or Neopets. So go tell your Usenet groups to head on over to sowrong...

MARCUS BIGNEYHere comes Fantasy Flight's body, mourned by Michael Walker: who,though he had no hand in its death, shall receivethe benefit of its dying, a place in thehobby; as which of you shall not? WALKERFriends, gamers, hobbyists, lend me your ears;I come to bury Fantasy Flight, not to praise it. The evil that publishers do lives after them;The good is oft interred with their bones;So let it b...

Cultural gaps can be quite tragic, to say nothing of socially debilitating. Mark discovers to his horror that Walker is unfamiliar both with a key game and a crucial character in film history. Thank goodness that this faux pas does not sully Masterpiece Theatre, as that would bring shame to both the Warrior of the Wasteland and Vin Diesel. Games Played Last Week:01:02 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luk...