No Crying In Baseball

The League updates harassment and discrimination policies , expanding mandatory training beyond players to include staff and front office executives. A new anonymous hotline for reporting violations has been established, and although we are in favor of these baby steps, Pottymouth proposes going full public school and mandating reporting for anyone who hears of violations. Giant steps backwards in...

We talk way more Jesus than usual, as we select both veteran (“We Believe in Jesus”) Jesús Aguilar and batting left because of David Ortiz prospect Jesús Sánchez as our Marlin’s boyfriends. Kim Ng was a contender for Marlins boyfriend but we have stupid rules. Over at the Yankees, both Pottymouth and Patti go for guys that are quietly generous in their birthplaces and save the noise for the field....

Remember in the before times when we had the joy of snow days? Anti-vaxxers delay vaccinations at Dodger Stadium, which we firmly believe disrupts both the possibility of fans in stands and the opportunity for snow days. Women continue to rock baseball, as Sarah Goodrum becomes the first woman to serve as a minor league hitting coordinator. For the fourth time in 50 years, the Hall of Fame voters...

Now is the time, Atlanta. Honor Hank Aaron and eliminate your problematic baseball team name in one fell swoop. Hammerin’ Hank deserves it .  Kiké Hernandez and George Springer highlight the hot stove this week. The Mets fire Jared Porter for his abusive treatment of a female sports journalist (dick pics and out of control unsolicited texting). Good on ya, Steve Cohen, but next time include some w...

Never fear, dear listeners, our bunker is six miles from the military lockdown in place to protect a peaceful transfer of power, and we have sports. And beer. MLB’s PAC is suspending and reviewing its political contribution policy in light of the insurrection.  Owners and players remain free to donate money wherever they like, but you don’t have to condone it. Citifield joins Petco Park, Dodger St...

Cleveland fans mourn the loss of Francisco Lindor and Cookie Carrasco , as the Mets made the hottest of hot stove moves last week. The Nationals, and Patti, come to terms with Kyle Schwarber , the target of one of Patti’s most vehement sports grudges. RIP Tommy Lasorda , he of the long and colorful Dodger history and the despicable denying of his son’s life and death . Mookie Betts and Brianna Ham...

The Red Sox hire Bianca Smith , the first Black woman coach in the MLB, who could not be more impressive. We may have to come up with a new boyfriend category. Smith played college softball, club baseball, and has degrees in sports law and sports management, preparing for when she’ll be a GM. Crosstraining with women’s hockey, the way we do, not only will the NWHL season be officiated by an all-fe...

In a purely mercenary move, Patti declares that Ryan Mountcastle will be AL Rookie of the year this season so claims him for her Orioles boyfriend, even though she finds him Mike Troutish. Pottymouth is more true to form with her second hair-based boyfriend selection of the season, the Os Rio Ruiz . She exercises her keeper option for the season and extends the boyfriend tenure of National’s star...

This past week Major League Baseball acknowledged the Negro Leagues with the unfortunate word choice “elevate.” Timing and vocabulary, and a history of discrimination aside, voices we trust see this as righting a wrong and therefore ultimately good. Let the fun of combining stats and declaring some new record-holders begin! The Cleveland Baseball Team announced it will have a new team nickname in...

Pottymouth is looking for a good lawyer willing to defend the Minors from the MLB power grab. Owners of the 120 teams “invited” to remain or become affiliated with an MLB team are ticked about the process, the timing, and the sketchy details of what will be a ten-year contract. The teams that were cut are ticked about being jettisoned, and by learning the news via social media.  It’s bad all aroun...

The return of our baseball boyfriend segment leads to the discovery of an unfortunate vacuum in Pottymouth’s pop culture experience.  She’s never seen High School Musical, and it shows. “ Hair guy” Cole Tucker , her choice for Pirates BF, is also Vanessa Hudgens choice for BF, and we are all in this together . Patti goes for Anthony Alford based heavily on his work with the Player’s Alliance and o...

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome back illustrator, designer, writer, and baseball fan Anika Orrock , to talk about her book, “ The Incredible Women of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League .” Anika shares stories of conversations with these Incredible Women, and fitting together her illustrations, comic strips, narrative, and players’ quotes into a cohesive whole, à la Criminal Minds...

Theo Epstein departs the Cubs, leading to lots of speculation about his next steps . Team ownership? The Commissioner's office? Shake things up? Or focus on his Foundation to be Named Later and the Player’s Alliance? NCiB votes for revolution.  Also in CubsWorld, Wrigley Field is designated a National Historical Landmark, which seems overdue as well as a windfall in tax credits. The Washington Nat...

Kim Ng , the new GM of the Miami Marlins, has blazed a trail of firsts in her 30-year career in baseball: youngest person and first woman to win an arbitration case, youngest assistant GM, first Asian-American GM, and more. Her overqualification for the job is par for the course of women working in sports , as Pottymouth says, backwards and in heels. Ng, along with the first woman play by play ann...

Danny Shih spent months building community with English-speaking fans of the CPBL, running the league’s Twitter feed , creating hype videos and excellent game wraps. He joins Patti and the Pottymouth to relive the excitement of the Taiwan Series, and highlight what makes this league so special. Danny rightly notes that Taiwan was the only place on Earth with sold-out ballparks for a championship,...

What a week! A couple of important wins, including NCiB going 2-0 in bets on the UniLions in the Taiwan Series. Pottymouth gives our pal, CPBL Social Media Guy Daniel Shih , dating advice and recaps the championship series. That other important win gives Patti a chance to steal a joke deftly combining the Electoral College and baseball. No fewer than 39 professional sports venues became polling pl...

They must, right? Or else why would a team full of talented, enthusiastic, exciting, and outspoken players hire Tony “unwritten rules” LaRussa ? The 76 year old white guy called out Tatis Jrs’ grand slam, allowed that protests against racial injustice are okay as long as they are “sincere,” and claims not to have a racist bone in his body.  Yeah, we rant again.  And really, are there only three ca...

It’s the day after the end of the 2020 World Series and Patti and the Pottymouth are super tired, a little hungover, and very stressed.  It’s a good time for a rant. Pottymouth is beside herself with Kevin Cash’s decision to pull Blake Snell while he was still dealing. Patti tries to play devil’s advocate but can’t even convince herself. There’s a failed attempt at both Bonnie Tyler and  Kim Carne...

Brett Phillips of dance off, mom jokes, clipboard, and oh yeah, a walk off hit in World Series Game 4 fame, is the hero we need right now. Randy Arozarena broke multiple post-season records this week, but the thing we will remember is the grin on his face while slapping home plate after the tuck and roll. Austin Barnes’ crazy stat of a homerun and safety squeeze on one WS game encourages Patti to...

Friend of the show, Holly Simonette, is the only human we know personally who has attended an MLB game in person this season. She joins us to tell us about her (death-defying) visit to Globe Life Field, including confrontations with both that f’n chop, and possibly rattlesnake-based concessions. Pottymouth uses her teacher’s voice in our annual vocabulary lesson about “Games Seven,” which we enjoy...

It turns out that strong and steady won out over magic and momentum in the Division Series.  We are grateful to Mike Brosseau for a moment of poetic justice as he hit the series winning homer off of Aroldis Chapman.  We will miss the joy that the Padres bandwagon brought to us and yet we hopped on the Rays train pretty fast after the dance off .  Patti learns how to pronounce Arozarena , because P...

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome artist, writer, and baseball fan Anika Orrock to tell us about her vintage style baseball illustrations, and the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum art show and benefit . Through October 10th, a percentage of your purchase from any of 100 artists helps raise funds for this important museum. In that crazy week of Wildcard games, what the hell happened to Bieber? What hap...

Hard to believe, but we got through the whole dang season. Patti and the Pottymouth give you their good, bad, and ugly of how it went, should it have gone? And what about all those new rules?  It felt like a lot more guys were injured, but also a lot more got their call ups . Hunter Pence retires and we wish him well. This crazy Wildcard Week is just beginning so we try to lay it all out for you....

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome Marla from the Mansplain Baseball Elsewhere podcast to talk Atlanta baseball. We share some Freddie love, talk changing problematic team names, and feel tremendously old as our Jethro Tull jokes fall flat.  Playoffs are a week away so we get you prepped with the layout of the rounds, seeding, and quarantine rules.  They aren’t bubbles, they are neutral sites with p...

Zack Wheeler proves what we’ve been saying all along.  Pants are dangerous. Not as dangerous as ticking off Dodger fans, who trolled the visiting Asterisks by land , air , and art . The legendary Vin Scully is auctioning off his extensive collection of memorabilia in order to make a meaningful charitable donation, and leave the kids and grandkids a little something. This year’s Roberto Clemente Da...