Myopia Movies

This week we learn that Keanu Reeves can store about as much memory as the biggest iPod. We watched Johnny Mnemonic, Hit Me! Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcomin...

This week on Myopia Movies, we get in the mood for the new Mortal Kombat movie with the bloodless Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, a movie that is the porn parody of itself.  Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the...

This week, we get all grease up and pretend to be Greek! We watched 300, probably one of the gayest films we have ever done.  Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcomi...

This week on Myopia Movies, we manifest the hell out of some destiny! We watched Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, the origin story of Champ! Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that annou...

This week we watch a huge, hairy, terrifying Jack Black! We saw King Kong (2005), I imagine the truest movie about how Richard Attenborough made nature documentaries.   Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the m...

This week on Myopia Movies, we class up the place! We watched the Princess Diaries, the time Julie Andrews danced with Hector Elizondo, steaming hot. Join the  Patreon  (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter t...

This month we learn that sometimes nerds turn into Mark Ruffalo! We watched 13 Going on 30, Big for the ladies!  Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and y...

This week we take out our pizza scissors, we watched Cobra! If crime is the disease, are you the cure? Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mis...

This week on Myopia Movies, we see Gerard Depardieu's butt! We watched The Man in the Iron Mask, the film where a Frenchman, an Irishman, an American, and a Brit, play the four French Musketeers, and swear to protect the French king played by an American.  Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower t...

This week on Myopia Movies we learn that stealing a woman's ideas help you succeed! We watched What Women Want, the movie where Mel Gibson can hear women and female dogs...yup. Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get...

The week we watch a real classy Valentines release, Daredevil! The movie that made Ben Affleck say he would never do a comic book movie. again..the first time. Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the up...

This week we learn that Rankin and Bass did more than just Rudolph, we watched the Last Unicorn!  Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog. For $...

This week we shoot a bunch of old people into space to spite John Glenn. We watched Space Cowboys, the only the film bold enough to watch William Devane chew for 90 minutes!  Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that a...

This week the folks from Cineprov cover 1990's Dick Tracy (you can get our Riff on it either with a donation to Cineprov or joining the Myopia Patreon). In the meantime, join us for the only PG rated movie where you can see Madonna completely naked! We watched Dick Tracy, Batman 1989 for babies! Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks...

This week, we watch Clive Owen once again just miss stardom. We saw King Arthur, who knew history could be this boring... Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Brie...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a significantly better movie about stopping thieves in a mall than Wonder Woman 1984, we watched buns of steel, I mean Timecop. All Belgians can do the splits, I just choose not to.  Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!...

Happy New Year and may 2021 be a great year for you and yours! This week we end the non-Patreon Harry Potter series with Myron of the Atlanta Podcast ( on Twitter @TheATLPodcast ) as Kellie guides us through Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! You may not like him, Minister, but you can't deny: Dumbledore's got style. Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we...

This week, Daniel Radcliffe valiantly tries to prevent the Twilight series by attempting to keep alive Cedric Diggory. We watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, can someone get a barber to set?  Just wanted to take a moment in this chaotic time of year in a chaotic year to thank you all personally for your support. We at Myopia Movies appreciate your our listeners, or Patreon Members and our...

This week on Myopia Movies, we tell spiders we don't want to tap dance. We watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, honestly how can people be in two places at once? Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing B...

This week on Myopia Movies, Kellie tells us what exactly is the function of a rubber duck? We watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, It's not much, but it's home. Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing B...

Welcome! If you are receiving this on the main feed and are surprised, join the Patreon! A couple months back, we watched Antonio Banderas play an Arab, join with Vikings, to fight monsters! You know it is good when they fire the director of Die Hard and replace him with author Michael Crichton. Woo! If you want to hear more like this, we will keep bringing you the main feed, but there is more on...

This week on Myopia Movies, Kellie takes over the month of December so we can cover to whole Harry Potter Series! This week, we learn we are wizards from a gruff giant, we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone! Alas, earwax. Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that...

Hello! This is a strange brew situation. This movie has all the fixin's of something we may like, Hugh Jackman, director of the Mummy, and interesting characters, like Abraham Van Helsing and Dracula. Then this movie shits the bed. Similarly, to us. We planned this, there was an issue with recording, so we are giving it away for free, enjoy!   Check out the full version here!  Thanks, Nic  

Happy Thanksgiving, today we celebrate the season and start bawling like a child. We watched Plains, Trains, and Automobiles, man I miss John Candy.  Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog. For $3: Yo...

You asked for it! The Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is now on patreon , has been for a while in fact. Soon, we will have Candace on to talk Trek as we do a Star Trek V Commentary. In the mean time, enjoy this sample from Patreon . For the price of a few pay-to-win iPhone game tokens, you can support your friends here!  This month on the Patreon exclusive Myopia Movies episode, we save some whales!...