Your Kickstarter Sucks

Yesterday I was in Lowe’s looking for an anti-siphon valve, and a guy walked up behind me also looking for something. It sounded like he was looking for the same thing as me, so I showed it to him and he was like “no that’s not it, it’s like this.” And that’s fine I was just sitting there anyway. So then the Lowe’s employee walks over and he’s looking around, and mumbling, and going “Oh that’s not...

Wake up Danny, I think I got some edits for you to do! We may have lulled our producer off to slumber land for this episode but maybe you can stay up for most of it. On this Oops All Holes episode of YKS, we got a revolution in online content consumption, a condom for your pillow, and the least credible AI-related project we have ever seen. So we got just one question for ya: how many winks ya gon...

What’s better than a satisfying dinner (the 300th episode)? How about an elegant dessert (the 301st episode)! Then you can smoke inside the restaurant (the 302nd episode), go to the bathroom and throw up (the 303rd episode), and sit down for another entree (the 304th episode). That’s right, the episodes are courses! And right now, this one is “coursing” through the internet on the way to your prec...

Mike and JF celebrate the milestone in style with a look back at the episodes that were, looking forward to the future of YKS, and of course, discuss 6 Kickstarter projects in the beloved segment, The 6 Pack.  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.  We couldn’t have done 300 of thes...

Two hundred ninety nine episodes…each one funnier than the last.  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.  YKS Premium!   You gotta subscribe to it to get the shows. And the shows are what you want to listen to, because they’re good. And you want to listen to good stuff because it’s...

HEADS UP: The first Kickstarter this week is nasty and stupid. Just letting you know. The funny part comes in when we turn our critical eyes and razor-sharp wit onto the project, absolutely tearing it limb from rhetorical limb. It’s so brutal, some might say it was even more objectionable than the project itself…but ask yourself, does the lion concern itself with the feelings of the lamb? Hm, not...

I’m running the self-cleaning function on the oven right now and it’s filling my home with, uh, let’s say, a normal amount of months’ old food fumes. So, I apologize in advance if this episode description gets a little WEIRD. Like Weird Twitter. Which I invented, by the way. On today’s show we talk about becoming the world’s most useless and thief-targeted Avenger, taking down Big Grease (damn it’...

Well well well, if it isn’t the episode description. Didn’t think I’d see your sorry ass round these parts again. Now that you’re here though, I reckon we oughta make the best of it. Let’s put our heads together and come up with a way of describin’ this episode that feels both comfortable to a seasoned listener and appealing to any potential newcomer. Then when that’s done we can solve our differe...

Hey! We’re all in the metaverse! When ya comin’ by? And by “we” I mean, it’s like me, and a bunch of kids, and some drunk guys, and a comedy club. And we are just kind of floating around in mid-air. And it sounds really weird in here because we’re all on headset microphones. And there’s nothing to do. Anyway, can you spend like $400 to get in here please? Before it closes? Meanwhile, in meatspace,...

That awkward moment when it’s Monday morning and we have to either go to work or pretend to work from home or just sit around and do whatever…Oh brother! I wish there was something to help pass the time but in a non-threatening, not super memorable kind of way! Well gang, good news. Your friends Mike and JF are here to tell you all about the metal detecting candy bucket, a subscription that makes...

I’m watching one of those stupid pawn shows while I’m sitting here writing this episode description out, and man, are these the stupidest shows ever made or what? I mean I don’t know who is watching them, other than total morons, because they don’t say anything worth a damn and it’s so boring it puts me to sleep. Then you got the ads, and they’re even worse! Next thing you know, they’ll be asking...

Hey Lois! Bring me one of those episodes of that show I like listening to so much. Oh Peter, you stupid son of a bitch, fine! It’s an all-new YKS! On today’s show we got an attachment for a vacuum cleaner even less useful than that stupid little brush one that doesn’t spin, porno puzzles, and a floaty that lets everyone know you’re a stupid piece of shit! That would be more than enough for one epi...

It’s Presidents Day! Yay! Now I know that every single one of these guys is bad for a variety of, but mostly pretty similar, reasons. And I know that in a best case scenario, at least half of the people who are even alive had extreme antipathy towards the guys from their lifetime included in this holiday. BUT. Well I can’t think of a silver lining here. Maybe you got off work. Probably not though....

Here we are folks, a Monday morning in many parts of the world, and we’re all thinking one thing: it’s time to listen to some guys on a podcast talk about their feelings. That is, if their toxically masculine producer (currently using a laptop on the toilet) will allow it! On today’s show, we get real, and we’re talking about loving lamp, introducing you to the MyThings ecosystem, and of course, n...

A new YKS! That’s Pawesome! On today’s show, we’re doing a little fashion show with a guy who I would say seems to be making an actionable threat on our lives, a cell phone app that somehow is even more annoying than being normal called on the phone, and the devastating story of a 6 year old’s dream to run a bandsaw for pwesident twump! And we did it all without Producer Dan! Let’s all prove that...

Back in the day, things just seemed a lot simpler, didn't they? You made your own card games to sell on Kickstarter, you dookied on a leaf in the woods, and could put your hand right on the shopping buggies! But not anymore. We've all taken the high heels off, gone woke, and turned our brains to hamburger. All to satisfy our Kinky Kravings! And just when you think it can't get any more HORNY, here...

Hey everyone it’s time to write the episode description for YKS: Your Kickstarter Sucks. The key to this is to have basically a paragraph of things that show up below the episode file and are only accidentally seen when someone inadvertently swipes their finger on the screen in a weird way. As a result, it doesn’t make any difference what I actually write. Like this! Wahoo! On this week’s show, we...

Well it’s YKS time and don’t ya know, that’s basically the Mike and JF show! We don’t really need to be reworking the theme song lyrics on the fly like that but, hey, just goes to show, writing songs is easy. I’m thinking whichever of the Hank Williamses is alive and not problematic for the performance. There’s gotta be one, right? Right?!? On today’s show we have one of the dead and very problema...

We recorded this episode on January 6th, which was a very important day in history. Actually I don’t think we did. Or maybe we did, I’m not sure. But, did you see how easily you can be manipulated by the media? Let that be a lesson to you, and to the January 6th guys, and I don’t know, like, people from everywhere in the world or other planets and stuff. Wow. This sounds like an important episode....

The first episode of 2023! I wonder what this year will hold. Well, first of all, hold this L. Come back in a few years and see if we’re still saying that. Plus, see if we’re still talking about the Lockhorns, the Splorks, and hey, is Mike still telling his little stories? Or did we all wither away like some shit that you just know would be very easy to wither…Ah, who can say. Except our friends a...

Look, if it’s alright with you, I’m going to take it easy on the episode description here at the end of the year. It’s the last one, I’m pretty tired, and you know what these things are all about. We said some pretty silly stuff in this one, and we did some Kickstarters as well. One of them was a Catholic board game! Isn’t that weird? Yeah we thought so too. What were the other ones? Well, there’s...

Wow, folks! It’s the last YKS before Christmas! Hopefully you have laid the 80s horror VHS tapes out by the old tube tv, taken one bite of the Delta-8 edibles and placed them on the Elvira plate, and filled up a cup with sour Gatorade. Soon, two annoying guys will be knocking on your front door asking if they can come in and use your bathroom! Will they be leaving presents? Perhaps! That depends o...

Look, the thing about the episode today is that we got a lot of ideas about hot dogs. And chicken wings. I guess we were pretty hungry when we recorded the episode. But when it’s YKS Nights…that’s just the kind of crazy stuff you’re gonna get! On today’s show, we’re visiting the Kingdom of Fufu, but just for tonight only! Plus, we got some corny shoe stuff not even I can endorse, a way to stay war...

Damn my feet smell really bad! That’s not pertinent to today’s episode, but I do think it’s a compelling way to start off the episode description, because you start to go…hmm..I wonder if JF”s feet were stinking during the episode? Or, like did they maybe start to stink right after? And if so, why? Was he out running around without socks? Probably not, it’s winter, but maybe he rushed out the door...

Well, Thanksgiving is over! All of the little cousins have gone on their walks, all of the uncles have done their politics, and all of the Karens have returned their half-eaten turkeys for store credit because they found a bird poop in the neckhole. Now what?! We all return to our schools or works?? And just sit there without eating a bunch of bread?? This sucks! Yeah, it does. That’s why they inv...