The Dildorks

Conditions like ADHD can affect your whole life, including your sexuality and relationships, in really interesting ways! This week Kate interviews Bex about how his ADHD manifests and how he manages the difficulties that come with it.   Recognizing it | Definition | Doesn’t Everyone Have That? | Diagnosis | Make It Sparkly | Dating Another ADHDer | Sex & Kink | Impulsivity & Surprise | Gender & Te...

Chronic pain can make your sex life tricky, but it doesn't have to ruin it! This week Bex interviews Kate about her mysterious chronic pain disorder, how it manifests in her sex/kink, and what makes it easier to handle.   Pain History | BJ Interference | “Depression-Related Pain” | Disability Impostor Syndrome | Type of Pain | Impact on Sex Life | Intoxication | Hypnosis | Lucked Out | Caregiving...

This week we’re answering your conversational queries! We explain how to deduce someone’s openness to chatting, ask questions people actually want to answer, navigate discussions when you’re low on spoons, and more.   Intoxication | Want to Talk? | Yes, And | No Response Required | How Are You? | 50 Non-Pandemic-Related Questions to Ask | Social Skills | Stressful Questions | The Same Conversation...

What does it mean to be good at conversation? We’re not claiming to be experts, but we have our preferences… This week, we’re discussing conversational skills: why they matter, how to develop them, and what to avoid.   ADHD & Neurodivergence | Why? | Pick-Up Artists | Monosyllabic Conversationalists | Follow-Up Questions | Displaying Knowledge | Answering Your Own Questions | Reading Emotions | No...

Why do we sometimes call kink “play”? How does it relate to the games we played as children? This episode is a meandering philosophical discussion of the role of play in our lives – including our sex lives!   Collarbone Play | Ass Play | Re-Watching | Recess | Play vs. Consuming Media | Critical Thinking | Childhood Sexuality | Capitalism | Repetition | Learning | Empathy | Non-Playful Play | Play...

It’s a weird time to be celebrating Pride, to say the least… This week we’re talking about some ways you can access a little Pride magic even in these stressful times.   Rocky Horror | Unorthodox “Churches” | #CelebratePrideQuietly | Going to Protests | Critical Resistance | You’re Wrong About Stonewall | Making Gay History | Two Headed Girl | The Offline Dating Method | Disclosure | How to Surviv...

Hope y’all are doing okay in this very stressful time. This week we’re discussing how high stress levels affect sex and dating, from dissociation to guilt to trauma triggers.   Time Management | Escapism vs. Information | Baths | De-Stressing Sex Toys | Solo Quickie | Illness Flare-Ups | Communicating While Triggered | Trauma-Informed Polyamory Workshop | When to Manage Stress? | Dissociation | Li...

This week, we’re joined by self-made porn queen Gwen Adora to discuss how her online sex work business has changed in light of the pandemic – and how the online porn landscape is shifting more generally in these trying times.   Sex Worker Label | Roleplay Videos | Slinky Porn | Work Week | Productivity | Customer Trends | Be Nice to Sex Workers | Pandemic Porn | Crews & Creativity | Caroline Callo...

This week we talked with sex educator, columnist, and stripper Andre Shakti about how she’s transitioned her sex work career onto the internet in the wake of COVID-19. Hopefully you’ll find this useful if you’re thinking about doing the same. Also: Black Lives Matter, ACAB, stay safe out there if you can, friends.   Pandemic Nudes | Pre-Pandemic Work Week | Government Assistance | Upkeep | Sanctua...

Hope you’ve had a lovely Masturbation Month, despite the circumstances! This week we’re answering more listener questions about jerkin’ it.   No Pants | “How to Masturbate” Video | Technique Lists | Vibrator Tips | Sex Training | Dysphoria | Quitting Masturbation | Roommate Troubles | Tedium | Comfortable Penetration | Guilt & Sadness Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a p...

This week we had a great chat with authors and polyamory educators Kevin Patterson and Dr. Liz Powell about their 6-week online course, Unfuck Your Polyamory . We also got their advice on some of the polyamory pitfalls people are experiencing these days due to the coronavirus lockdown. Unfuck Your Polyamory | Couples’ Privilege | Media Representation | LDRs & Love Languages | Stress Levels | Commu...

Happy Masturbation Month! To celebrate, we’re answering some of your most pressing questions about what some people euphemistically call self-lovin’.   Professional Masturbators | Masturbation Month | COVID Libido | More Satisfying | “Genital Sneeze” | Edging | Different Ways of Orgasming | Interdependency | Excess & “Addiction” | Vibrator Overuse | Toys with Partners | Using Hands | Partner Walks...

This week, we’re chatting with journalist, author, and theologian Tara Isabella Burton . Her forthcoming book Strange Rites is about how the “religiously unaffiliated” seek meaning and fulfilment through non-religious means – like sex, kink, and polyamory, to name but a few!   Strange Rites | Chosen Family | Lifestyle Kink vs. Just For Fun | Perfectionism | Idealism | Intuitionalism | Embodiment |...

This week we’re joined by erotic letter writer, tarot reader , and oral historian Jamie Beckenstein to discuss the joys of sexy snail mail!   Rail Mail | Personas | Why Snail Mail? | Touch | Exploring Fantasies | Space & Time | Tools | Handwriting | Language | Aftercare | Lessons Learned | Cis Men | Pricing | Trauma Survivors | Repeating Words | Dissociating | Sign-Offs Credits: Music by PROTODOME...

Happy 4/20! This week's episode is our annual Highpotheticals special, where we get high off our asses and answer sex questions sent in by listeners. Enjoy!   Wonders of Weed | Kinkiest Vegetable | “Useful” Kinks | Personality Traits | Smoke a Dick | Additional Limbs | Sound Effects | Period Products | One-Offs Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the sho...

We’re back answering more of your COVID questions! Tune in to hear our thoughts on maintaining relationship momentum during the crisis, balancing different libido levels, and Skype date etiquette, among other things.   Keeping Them Interested | Deeper Conversation | Video Date Etiquette | Partner in the Room | Classes & Events | Quiet Kink | FWBs | Sex Drive Discrepancies | Size Training | Upside-...

Want to liven up your self-isolation with some sex and/or kink? We’ve got more suggestions this week than you can shake a dick at!   Protocol & Ritual | Clone-a-Willy | Dress-Up Doll | Roleplay | Yes/No/Maybe List | Medical Play | Edging & Orgasm Control | Self-Tying | Leather Care | Recordings & Videos | Cam Shows | Custom Content | Phone Sex | Hypnosis | Curated Smut | Weird Music | History | Se...

This week we’re joined by kink educator Carter Brûlée to discuss one thing the three of us have in common: being silly, playful, and giggly during sex and kink!   Fire & Dessert | Srs Bsns | Ruining the Mood | Kink As Play | Sneezing | Giggle Check | Suffering | Tickling | Topping | Roleplay | Advice For Partners | Negotiation & Check-Ins | Giggling | Implements | Beginner Tips | Humiliation | Dis...

Wow, what a week. This episode we’re answering questions about the thing that’s on everyone’s mind – COVID-19 – and how it intersects with sex and dating. Hope you find this helpful and comforting, friends!   NYC Health Brief | Sex Hygiene | Cancelling Dates | #PolyProblems | Metamour Boundaries | Touch-Starved | Hopelessness & Jealousy | “Clean Sex” | Breakups | Casual Love | Friends | Online Gam...

How do you do kinky stuff if you don’t have (or don’t want) someone to do them with? This week we’re talking about solo kink: why it’s fun, how to do it safely, and (of course) how it’s relevant to the current global pandemic.   #StayTheFuckHome | What Is Solo Kink? | AFemmeCock Post | Reasons | Masturbation Comparison | Pain & Self-Harm | Dangers | Negotiation | Headspace | Fantasizing | Toys & P...

Don’t listen to this episode while driving! This week Kate busted out her fledgling hypnosis skills and hypnotized Bex, after an extended scene negotiation. You’ll learn about communication, recreational hypnosis, and what Kate’s hypno top voice sounds like…!   Erotic? | Desires | Kinesthetic | Inductions & Deepeners | Fractionation | Sex & Touch | Intensity | Meta-Communication | Motivations | En...

This week, we’re chatting with writer and mental health advocate JoEllen Notte about her incredibly helpful soon-to-launch book on sex and depression, The Monster Under the Bed !   Crying | Double Taboo | Introverts at Conferences | Sex Educator BFFs | Research | The Book You Need | Us vs. the Problem | Unqualified | Horny Depression | Kink | Self-Harm? | Caretaking Guilt | Desirability | Waning L...

We’re talking about play parties again this week, and this time we’re focusing on what happens once you get to the party. Hear our best advice on approaching people, negotiating pickup play, saying “no” nicely, and more!   Nerves | Different Types of Party | Approaching People | Negotiation | SIMMER | Watching | Feeling Awkward | Expectations | Saying No | Self-Consciousness Credits: Music by PROT...

This week Kate is joined by her partner Matt (they/them) to talk about collars: what they are, why people like them, and how to go about buying one, negotiating one, and wearing one!   What is a Collar? | Kate’s First Collar | Gifting Collars | L’Amour-Propre | Old Guard | Bringing It Up | Play Collars | Negotiating Rules | Flagging | Touching | Doms | Double Duty Cuff | Reactions in Public | Neck...

This week we’re joined by Ashe , the photographer extraordinaire behind Rose Glass Photos, who also happens to be Bex’s partner! We discuss how photography interacts with gender expression, kink, personal branding, and more.   Butt Selfies | Marginalized Folks | Gender on Purpose | Perfection | Comfort vs. Awkwardness | Preparation | Shoot with Matt | Kinky Photographers | Giving Direction | Intox...