Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Model and Drag Race pit crew member Bruno Alcantara joins Nicole to discuss his love for biting (and the time he got kicked out of a bar for it), being barefoot on set of Drag Race, working as a massage therapist and life coach, and discovering he was gay after having a couple of girlfriends. Plus, Bruno gives Nicole a happy ending massage while sharing his best advice as a life coach. Check out H...

Drag queen Angeria Paris VanMichaels (Winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars S9) wants your hole pic. She joins Nicole to talk about the etiquette of hooking up with a RuGirl, those confusing “boyfriend things” that blur situationships, and why being the one who always texts first is exhausting. Angeria opens up about what she really wants in a partner, how she’s manifesting real love after years...

Nurse practitioner and pole dancer Neda Momeni is here and teaches Nicole a lot! From her years as a labor and delivery nurse, she explains what actually happens in the hospital during childbirth and what most people never hear about until they’re living it. She talks about Muslim dating, from family expectations to apps like Minder and her experience using an online matchmaker. Pressure pushed he...

Drag queen, singer, and actress  Adore Delano  (RuPaul's Drag Race S6, All Stars 2, American Idol) joins Nicole to share stories about hooking up with go-go dancers, filming a sex tape she regrets, and her path to sobriety. She opens up about transitioning twice, the facial feminization surgery she underwent, and her current relationship with a trans man Nicole and Adore swap dating lessons, talk...

Actress Rachel Bilson (The O.C., Broad Ideas ) once lost a job over something she said on a podcast. She tells Nicole what that was like, current cancel culture, and why “free speech” doesn’t always apply to everyone. Rachel shares some of her wildest dating stories, from terrible first dates, rejected kisses, and men who love bomb too fast. Also, is it good to call before a first date, or is it u...

Rapper and friend Big Dipper (host of Sloppy Seconds ) returns to the pod! He and Nicole dive into how he became a bear, the many “gaybels” that shape queer dating culture, and the highs and lows of Bear Week and pig events, from the wild parties to the moments that left him questioning everything. Dipper unpacks the twink vs. bear dynamic and explains compersion - the joy of watching your partner...

Comedian, clown, and artist Jenson Titus (of @VeryGayPaint ) tells Nicole what it was like to date someone who's in the process of transitioning. The experience made him realize he’s bi, and left him feeling “more queer” than ever. He talks about the challenges of having a "Very Gay" brand while dating a woman, launching his mural business, and the surreal job of painting RuPaul’s 1-bedroom, 5-clo...

Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon (Winner of Dancing with the Stars) joins Nicole to share the dating life of a Olympian. He shares what it was like being one of the first openly gay U.S. Olympians, why the infamous Olympic condoms left him disappointed, and what the sex life in the Olympic Village is really like. He also breaks down for Nicole exactly what it takes to become an Olympian, and the...

Co-writers Dan Gregor and Doug Mand ( The Naked Gun ) have been writing partners for twenty years - which is basically a marriage at this point. They tell Nicole about the time they were "dumped" by Adam Pally, how they’ve kept a friendship and business alive without burning each other out, and the rabbi who completely ruined a wedding by trying to do bits. They also shared the best marriage advic...

For Roz Hernandez , dating as a sober, trans woman comedian is a trifecta of difficulty - and finding love hasn’t been easy. She tells Nicole about going to 4 different Etsy psychics to sketch her future husband, using Grindr to find dates willing to explore haunted places, and the hookup stories that came from visiting 45 gay bars across the country. She opens up about the surprising ways gay men...

International award-winning burlesque dancer Jessabelle Thunder joins Nicole to talk about why so many partners say they’re cool with burlesque - until they’re not. She shares how she transformed from a shy girl into a commanding headliner, the different styles of burlesque dancing, and the time she broke her ankle on stage mid-show. Jessabelle also relives a London date with an Irish DJ who argue...

Before she was an activist,  Monica Lewinsky  was the most publicly shamed woman in America. Now, she's reclaiming her story, and her dating life. For the 400th episode of Why Won’t You Date Me?, Monica joins Nicole to talk about dating after a major scandal, being labeled “unmatchable” on eHarmony, and learning to enjoy life when pop culture won’t stop referencing you. She reflects on hosting the...

Exciting news from Nicole: Best Friends is BACK and 1) now on Headgum, 2) with FULL VIDEO EPISODES! Enter the pantheon of best friendship and check out Nicole and Sasheer's first episode back, available now on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to the Best Friends YouTube channel https://youtube.com/@NicoleandSasheer for video epis...

Comedian Devon Walker (SNL) joins Nicole to tell the story of how he met his girlfriend on a live blind date podcast. He figured it was just a bit - until the audience voted for them to win an Applebee’s gift card and that turned into their actual first date. 3 years later, they’re still together! He and Nicole also talk about the woman who went viral  eating 48 oysters on a first date , why it’s...

Comedian and friend Josh Sharp (Dicks: The Musical) returns to the podcast! Nicole and Josh kick things off by reminiscing about the chaotic live show where Nicole interviewed a man in the audience she had slept with. From there, they get into Josh’s foolproof flirting strategy at the club, Annabelle the haunted doll’s cursed tour across America, attending a Big Dick contest, and Josh’s near-death...

Drag queen icon Meatball is back! She and Nicole get into it all - being in her top era, loving the single life, and having weekend boyfriends in different cities. But also... why dating is still so hard when you do drag. Meatball opens up about losing guys the second they find out she’s a queen, and how frustrating it is watching her roster shrink because of it. And of course, the wild date stori...

Happy 4th of July!(?) Comedian Lou Wilson (Dimension 20, Jimmy Kimmel Live!) joins Nicole to reflect on the wild state of America. He shares his terrible time living in Boston, where white guys frequently asked him for the N-word pass. They talk about what it was like to sell out Madison Square Garden in just 10 minutes withDimension 20, being a “silly billy” on dates, and the moment Lou realized...

Actress  Jessica Lowe  (The Righteous Gemstones, Minx, Wrecked) joins Nicole to share the romantic saga of falling in love on a Second City cruise ship. On the ship, she met a British bassist who became her cruise ship boyfriend - whom she later realized wasn’t as smart as she thought his accent sounded (he tried to dry his pants on a ceiling fan and designed a nightmare demon tattoo for himself)....

TV writer Lauren Ashley Smith (A Black Lady Sketch Show, Smith Sisters Live ) joins Nicole to talk about how she met her wife the old-fashioned way - through Time Out New York’s Singles issue. Lauren reveals the strange public response to being a “bachelor” in a magazine, how her wife was one of the only white women working at BET, and the complications that came with planning an interracial lesbi...

Actor Michael Urie (Shrinking, Ugly Betty) joins Nicole to discuss the wild hookup culture at Julliard, and the love triangle he had that went sour. Once he got fame from Ugly Betty, he starts going on dates with people who only seem interested in the version of him they saw on TV, until a second shot with actor Ryan Spahn turns into a 17-year partnership. He tells the story of a friend who died s...

Comedian and friend Betsy Sodaro (Ghosts, A Funny Feeling ) joins Nicole to swap crazy Las Vegas stories, their experience getting slammed by puberty, and debate why we shouldn’t have to pay taxes right now (plus what happened when Nicole skipped paying taxes for 5 years). Betsy reveals what life was like spending six months in a hotel, and Nicole confesses she nearly launched an anime-recap podca...

Actress Edi Patterson (The Righteous Gemstones) joins Nicole to talk about falling in love with her improv teacher, hiding their relationship from the world, and mistaking his proposal for a joke. She opens up about being a late bloomer in dating, throwing house parties that felt straight out of a '90s film, and the one dating lesson she learned from a kid that she wishes everyone would follow. Pl...

Actress  Rose McIver  (Ghosts, iZombie, voice of Headgum) joins Nicole to explain New Zealand, why she doesn’t post her loved ones on social media, and talk about all the cute, funny other ways people show love. They get into weird animal relationship stories, like the woman in love with a dolphin (who died of heartbreak), the man who tried to live among grizzlies, and Nicole’s dream of becoming q...

Bob the Drag Queen (The Traitors, winner of RuPaul's Drag Race S8) returns to the podcast to derail the show. This time, Bob interviews Nicole about her current relationship, run through their plans to prep for tariffs, and discuss LA's newest serial killer. He sniffs out the ulta-rich cast members on The Traitors, shares what he hates about Italy, and Canada’s ex-prime minister's blackface scanda...

TikTok star Drew Afualo joins Nicole to share her enemies‑to‑lovers love story and the worst dates that taught her to trust her gut. She tells the time she dated a man who drank ocean water and ended up getting his stomach pumped, walks through her viral list of red flags in men, and the backlash she received online for sharing it. They dig into the male loneliness epidemic, red‑pill culture, and...