The Opinion Machine???

#17 The Joke Police 07.08.2019 12:13 ↓

Howard Stern Finds Jesus, David Letterman Turns Into Mother Teresa, & Maddox Unironically Clutches His Self Administered Pearl Necklace. AKA: Jesus ain’t known for his stand-up comedy.

#16 Wooden Spoons & Bare Little Butts 06.08.2019 13:15 ↓

The Penis/Vagina Shouting Match, Claw Marks To Match My Freckles, & How Bruised Egos Lead To Bruised Bodies. AKA: It’s surprising there aren’t mass shootings every 5 minutes.

#15 Congratulations, You Blend In! 01.08.2019 8:03 ↓

A Big Dumb Cowboy Hat, A Frumpy Forgettable Girl, & A Whore In Red Leather (Tits To Toes). Aka: It’s not my fault I don’t remember you.

#14 Individual Justice n Shit 01.08.2019 9:49 ↓

Mathematically Induced Rage, Defiant Popcorn Revenge, & Why I Hated School. Aka: These obedient idiots are NOT my people!

#13 Drunken Facebook Anal Ysis. 01.08.2019 11:48 ↓

 Having My First Drink At 33, 13 Subsequent Years Of Catch-up, & Losing Interest In Booze As I Lost Interest In Strangers. Aka: I recognize drunk facebooking when I see it.

#12 The Accidental Impressionist 29.07.2019 12:32 ↓

Artist Of The Year, Juvenile Photo Realism, & The Crushing Melancholy Of Valiant Best Efforts. AKA An ironic, low effort plea of: can you at least TRY!?

#11 The Cult of Climate Change 28.07.2019 5:50 ↓

 - Prophets For Profits, Mexican Kids In Cages, & The Ever-Presence Of DoomsDayism. Aka: Your boiling forehead is giving me a sunburn.

#10 Dead Horses 27.07.2019 11:10 ↓

 - Little Tiny Rocks, Dog’s Ears Flapping, & The Unfathomable Miracle Of Everything. Aka: Don’t Worry So Much.

#9 - Dr. Thinskinski 26.07.2019 7:51 ↓

 - Thin Skin, Thick Skin & The Subtle Tenderness Of Screaming Out In Pain

#8 - HIPPOCRIP 26.07.2019 8:56 ↓

Ever feel like a big fat hippocrip?

#7 - Fart-n-Run 26.07.2019 7:51 ↓

Oh how that hairy trigger finger gets itchy & blocky.

#6 Chicken 'Lil - Emergency, emergency, human beans! 26.07.2019 8:07 ↓

Emergency, emergency, human beans! HUMAN BEANS!

#5 Looks like Mr. Knowitall has some gay little feelings he needs to protect 26.07.2019 8:44 ↓

What a worthless pile of procrastinating poop. Total hypocrite, that Merkley.

#4 Two “Rare” Amazonian Tribesmen Walk Into A Video Store... 25.07.2019 7:09 ↓

And then what happened?

#2 Me Caveman 25.07.2019 7:43 ↓

Ugh

#3 The Bad Listener 25.07.2019 7:22 ↓

Huh? What? You Say Something?

#1 Beach Texting 24.07.2019 6:36 ↓

Time to get off the internet