The Dildorks

Privacy can be a tricky subject to navigate in sexual relationships, so this week we’re answering listener questions on the fine line between privacy and secrecy when it comes to sex and dating.   Our Boundaries | Phone Access | Sharing Porn Info | Non-Monogamy Disclosure | Telling Children | Trauma Disclosure | Noisy Roommate | Hickeys Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a...

Femmes are somehow both erased and revered in the queer community. This week we’re discussing Kate’s femme identity: what it means, how she arrived at that label, and the joys and difficulties of being femme. Transmasc Fem(me)ness | Cis Woman vs. Femme | Femme vs. Feminine | Clothes & Makeup | Tattoos | Tomboy Side | Male Gaze | Straights Dressing Queer | Butch/Femme Dynamics | Butch is a Noun | G...

This week we set out to have a discussion of creativity in kink, and it turned into a meandering discussion of that, Bex’s adventures at kink camp, our traumas, roleplay, boundaries and more. Bex’s Health | Classes as Aftercare | Suffering | Edge Play | Kink & Trauma | Screening Therapists | Turning Point | Seeking Sadists | Creativity Through Constraints | Flirty Roleplay | Non-Sexual Enjoyment |...

This week Kate’s spouse Matthew Bischoff returns for a discussion of kinky apps, sex machines, electrostimulation and other fun sex tech.   Notes App | Dominance Technology | Sex Menu | Protocol Apps | Obedience | Streaks | Sex Toy Spreadsheet in Notion | OSSM | Fucking Machines | 3D-Printing Sex Toys | Heckin’ Lewd | Nanobots & Nerve Pathways | Electrostimulation | Self-Hosted Options | Buttplug....

Could sex apps, high-tech vibrators and sex robots ever replace sex with actual humans? This week Kate is joined by her spouse Matthew Bischoff , a technologist, app developer and cohost of the Absolutely Crushed podcast, for a discussion of sex tech.   Sex Apps | Online Censorship | Hypnokink | Bluetooth Sex Toys | We-Vibe | Mozilla Privacy Audit | Cellmate Chastity Cage | Best Companies | Ana Va...

This week we’re joined by our friend Brent Black (a.k.a. Brentalfloss) , who’s currently working on a sequel to his hilarious party game Use Your Words . We chat about games, being a public figure who’s out as bisexual, weird sex toys for penises, and more.   Use Your Words 2 | Diverse Writers Team | Coming Out As Bi | “Bi Enough” | Representation | Straight Lines | DMs | Nobra Twincharger | Slubb...

This week we discuss sex dreams, romantic dreams, wet dreams, and other ways that crushes and carnality show up when you’re dreaming!   Getting Mad | Sex Dream About a Friend | Dream As Excuse | Social Media Dreams | Romantic Dreams About Exes | Getting Over Dreams | Dreams About Women | Inducing a Sex Dream | Hypnosis | Wet Dreams | Angry Partner | Freud Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Add...

It’s been a while since we talked about erotic hypnosis, so this week Bex interviews Kate about how hypno is manifesting in her relationship and kink life currently.   Mystery | Dollification | Long-Distance Realism | Slipping Into It | Submission | Aptitudes | Subject Skills | Trance vs. Subspace | Waking Yourself Up | Depth & Metaphor | Altering Perceptions | Pre-Talk | Topping | In-Scene Feedba...

People have a lot of feelings about body hair, so this week we thought we’d discuss pubes, armpit hair and leg hair: our feelings about them, our removal tips, and how we incorporate them (or don’t) into our sex lives.   Current Feelings | Sensitivity | Gender Norms | Waxing | Partners’ Preference | Armpit Hair | History of Shaving | Enjoying the Process | Tweezing | At-Home Waxing | Pubes in Mout...

This week Bex interviews Kate about her other creative outlet besides writing about sex: writing songs (including songs about sex!). We discuss the songwriting process and how it relates to kink, porn, and sex education, as well as what it’s like to write and perform vulnerable songs about one’s own sexuality.   History | Pop Performers | Songwriting Process | Changes in Process | Choosing Subject...

Bex’s partner Ashe recently celebrated 6 months on testosterone, and Bex has been on it for 5 years – so this week the two of them sat down to chat about their experiences on T.   Previous T Episode | Method of Delivery | Ritual & Service | Body Hair | Deciding to Start | Impostor Syndrome | Body Modification | Surprising Effects | Voice Changes | Stumbling Upon Progress | Bottom Growth | Arousal...

We’re talking about masturbation again this week! Tune in to hear us answer listener questions about solo sex.   Donate to Your Local Abortion Fund | Sex Strikes | Keeping It Interesting | Being Watched | Masturbation is Better | Public Places | Touching Your Own Clit | Curious Partner | Age-Appropriate Education | Household Upgrades Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a pa...

Happy Masturbation Month! This week we’re answering complex questions from listeners about the logistics and ethics of masturbation.   Grumpy About Masturbating | Exploratory Approach | Lube on Dicks | Is It Cheating? | Insecurities | Pics of Exes | Telling Them | Condoms | Daily Challenge Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to ou...

Ever enjoyed spending money on someone, or being spoiled by someone? This week we’re discussing financial domination: why it’s hot, how to do it (with or without actual cash), and what kinks it pairs well with.   Why Is It Hot? | Tangibility | Humiliation & Ripoffs | Guilt | Keeping Up Appearances | Professionals vs. Amateurs | Boundaries | Budgeting | Cuckolding | Ideal Items | Bimboification | F...

A very happy 4/20 to all who celebrate! Once again this year, we’re celebrating by doing “Highpotheticals,” i.e. getting high and answering your weirdest, wildest hypothetical questions about sex and dating.   It’s Tradition! | Last Prisoner Project | Strains | Cis Men’s Feelings | Sex Work Budget | Orgasms on Command | Sexiest Pokémon | Any Location | Number of Fingers | Universal Kink | Crush Li...

This week, we’re so excited to be talking to sex-positive singer/songwriter Rachel Lark , who we’ve both adored for many years! We chat about her new rock musical, the vulnerability of writing explicit songs, getting over sexual shame, and more.   Coming Soon: A New Rock Musical | Internal Family Systems | Arousal vs. Patriarchy | Pleasure vs. Ethics | Shame | Sex-Positive Family | Vulnerability |...

This week we’re diving deeper into the topic of sex parties: how to break the ice, handle conflicts, communicate what you are and aren’t up for, and more.   Surprise Orgy | Overcoming Awkwardness | Soothing Anxiety | Games | Establishing Rules | Consent | Making Introductions | Dealing with Harassers | Communicating Boundaries | Attendance Restrictions | Hal Dente Drag | Differentiating Your Event...

Throwing a great play party is a surprisingly complex task. This week we’re discussing the ins and outs (so to speak) of planning a fantastic sex party.   Social Anxiety | How to Find Parties | Inclusivity | Number of Attendees | Host’s Responsibilities | Designated Roles | Beducated | Location | Music | Food | Intoxicants | Should the Host Play? | Themes Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Add...

Sexual ethics is always an interesting subject, so this week we’re weighing in on ethical dilemmas, like sex with a coworker, faking orgasms, and having a sexual history with your therapist.   Coworker Sex | Faking Enthusiasm | Beducated | Friend/Therapist | Lying About Orgasms | Lying About Pleasure Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get a...

What does it mean to “worship” someone sexually? This week we’re discussing how body worship makes us feel (while giving or receiving), the various ways we like to do it, and even its spiritual implications.   What Makes It Worship? | Devotion & Love | Sensate Focus | Clit Worship | Foot Worship | Roleplay | Beducated | Self-Esteem & Body Image | Love Languages | Use the Right Words | Long-Distanc...

The names and titles we use in bed (or in the dungeon) can really affect how we feel about our partners and ourselves. This week we’re discussing kinky honorifics: the ones we use, the ones we don’t use, and the advice we have for other kinksters who are horny for honorifics.   What Are Honorifics? | Affectionate Nicknames | Daddy | Princess, Etc. | Pet | Daddy, Again | Honorific Exclusivity | Que...

We’re returning to the topic of objectification to answer listener questions about dirty talk, dysphoria, combining this kink with other ones, and more! Degradation vs. Praise | Self-Esteem | Aftercare | Types of Objects | Dirty Talk | Our Fave Scenes | Fancy Shoes | Dysphoria | Chronic Pain | Race Play | Kink Pairings | Sissies vs. Bimbos | Impact Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Fi...

This week we’re pleased to welcome back Kenton from Funkit Toys to discuss his latest project: the Random Encounters sex dice ! Join us for a nerdy discussion of sex toy creation and the joys of sexual randomness.   Origin Story | NoFrilldo | Dildo Fundraisers | Sex Dice | Survey | Clear Imagery | Outdoor Sex | Rooms | Mouth & Hand Stuff | Random Number | Toys vs. Tools | Instructions & Consent |...

Objectification can be so so bad or so so good, depending on context and consent. This week we’re discussing how consensual, kinky objectification relates to – and differs from – more mainstream concepts of sexual objectification.   What is Objectification? | Feminist Arguments | Martha Nussbaum | Instrumentality | Denial of Autonomy | Inertness | Fungibility | Violability | Ownership | Denial of...

This week we’re delighted to chat with Leigh Cowart , the author of one of our favorite recent books, Hurts So Good: The Science & Culture of Pain on Purpose ! We discuss sexual and nonsexual masochism, some of the brain science behind pain, and the process of writing their incredible book.   Hurts So Good | Recording the Audiobook | The Origins of Masochism | Sexual vs. Nonsexual | Lightbulb Mome...