PsycHacks

The hard truth about relationships is that everyone is entirely unique and completely replaceable. However, the key to making yourself (almost) irreplaceable in the context of any particular relationship is to prioritize how over what. This means that -- provided you continue to perform the duties associated with your role -- the way in which you show up is more important than what exactly you're...

In any given sport, the one playing the game is not simultaneously the one enforcing the rulebook. Yet in our lives, we all too often decide not to make the attempt if our efforts might run afoul of the (usually unwritten) rules. Let the referees referee. If you're playing the game, focus on playing the game, and learn to foul appropriately. If no one is blowing the whistle, then there's a good ch...

A paradoxical truth lies at the heart of all human relationships, namely: everyone you know is both entirely unique and completely replaceable. Success in life depends on your ability to keep both of these facts in your mind at the same time. When you do this, relationships become their proper size: neither too big nor too small.

Setting effective boundaries with difficult or toxic people in order to safeguard your peace of mind is an essential life skill. Unfortunately, too many people operate under the false impression that boundary-setting is about controlling the other to prevent future abusive behavior. In reality, setting boundaries is about controlling yourself to respond to the target behavior in such a way as to d...