Zero Credit(s)

Wedding bells are ringing in the distance. The Wedding Party is bearing down on our position. We’ve put up a good fight, but I don’t know how much longer we’ll last. Nuptials are imminent. In this episode, John tries to wring some amount of discussion out of the existence of Blue Will Smith, but Henry has seen ALL THE MEMES and does not wish to entertain the subject further, robb...

What up Sports Survivors, it’s hike time on the Zero Credit(s) Grid Iron and the New England Footballs are roarin’ to go up against the St. Lou–Los Angeles Helmeted-Men. In the aftermath, no one is left pleased, save for a small community of people on the East Coast who have literally never known pain, for they have lived in the golden era of summer that is the blandest team in f...

Recorded live in front of an unnecessarily loud refrigerator in beautiful Two Bedroom Apartment, Texas, it’s Zero Credit(s)! The Boys made a promise and, against good taste and better judgement, they stuck to their word. Join them this week as they discuss, in its entirety, the single most exhausting sporting event: the WWE Royal Rumble. The Semi-Knowledgable Force faces off against the Apat...

Gather now, Brothers and Sisters, for time is short and growing shorter. We, the Arkane Order of Mystikal Magicks and Eldritkch Fpells, have a great deal to discuss. The Super Blood Wolf Moon has since waned and given way to a Normal Clean Nonwolfed Moon, but our Rites and Inkantations on that fateful night have finally begun to bear fruit. In addition to a very successful (but NOT literal, can&#8...

What up, true famlievers. My name’s Henry And John and for the past three years, I have been the one and only Zero Credits Podcast-Man. That’s right, this week we take on Sony Pictures/Marvels/Some type of miracle’s hit animated feature Spider-Man into the Spiderverse and we got the title right so you know that means this is a good film. But what topics does it tackle? What are t...

It’s a brand new year, fams, but man it doesn’t feel like it, does it? Same planet, same problems, as they say and the ZC boys are full of them (PROBLEMS, THAT IS). Henry and John started 2019 with a hang(over) and boy do they want to lament about it. Does this year feel like the year everything changes for the better? Boy does it not. I mean how can you have a perfect night of drunken...

Well folks, 2018 is over. Yep. No more 2018 after you listen to this episode (EDITOR’S NOTE: IF YOU DON’T LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE, 2018 WILL NEVER END. YOU WILL FOREVER BE TRAPPED IN 2018 A LA GROUNDHOG’S DAY STARRING BILL MURRAY). Where does this year fall on the spectrum of Best/Worst? Find out by listening. That’s literally the only way. I don’t even know what it is...

The sun is high in the sky and the boys are high dry. It’s Sober Sunday in the Zero Credit(s) Studio (apartment), the holiest of holy days where no one gets drunk, no ways. In this blistering light, there’s only one thing to talk about. DC’s hit television show [citation needed] Legends of Tomorrow featuring all your favorite possibly fake plot lines that end up being real. Peopl...

Everything is you love is converging into one giant shapeless mass. Hooray! This week the Boys are in top form as they tackle the hard-hitting subject matter of checks notes alcohols they’ve heard of but seldom drank. After that delightful and well-planned adventure, they checks notes jump right into the murky and interminable waters of intertextuality and anti-trust laws when they discuss t...

The autumn leaves have fallen and it’s cold everywhere you look–WEATHER UPDATE: Today’s Forecast in Austin, TX, is gonna be HOT HOT HOT. 70° High with no chance for cold anywhere throughout the day. We return you to your normally scheduled podcast description–the snow is falling and the boys are feeling ever so thankful for the things that have changed in their lives in the...

With nothing left to lose in the world in the wake of the midterm elections, John and Henry travel back in time to meet their maker. Several hundred times. Cause when you’re an immortal time traveling duo of know-nothings, there’s nothing like the soothing feeling of being stabbed and overpowered by three other men in the dusty, disgusting alleys of middle age England. Or wherever the...

Spoiler alert, we get political. It’s election night in America and Henry and John are champing at the bit to spit their particular political opinions all over your ears. Yeah, it’s gross. This is politics. It tends to get gross. Nothing is held back. Political parties are dropped into pits. Politicians are dragged across the coals. Candidates are lifted up the mountain to be dropped o...

Have you ever wanted to willingly put yourself in a space so small that all you can do is wiggle your shoulders to move forward? Have you ever wanted to be in a situation where squeezing through a small space is the only way to explore where you’re going, knowing that to get back you’ll have to squeeze through that same small passage? Feel like risking your life for the sake of seeing...

This week on Zero Credit(s)– THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE CENTRAL AUTHORITY. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT FOR THE DURATION OF THE EVENT, ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO BURN THEIR WATER BEFORE DRINKING, COOKING, EXISTING, OR RUBBING IT ALL OVER THEIR SKIN. AS SOON AS THE WATER LEAVES THE FAUCET, IT NEEDS TO BE BURNED IMMEDIATELY OR ELSE. REPEAT. ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO BURN THEIR WATER. THERE WILL BE NO EXC...

WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH THESE DREADFUL TIMES BUT HOW WILL YOU PAY FOR ALL YOUR CRIMES? CAN YOU FOLLOW THE PHANTOM THREAD? STARRING DANIEL DAY LEWIS AND VICKY KRIEPS? IT’S TOO SLOW FOR ME, BUT THAT’S JUST MY PERSONAL TASTE NOT ENOUGH ACTION, TOO MUCH DRAMA IN YOUR FACE. ANYWAY, IT’S TIME AGAIN FOR FRIGHT AND FEAR. BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU HEAR. IT’S REAL. Music: Shado...

Week 2 of the Frightentimes is here / The end of all things is near / What awaits us at the end / of life and death / of foe and friend / Urban legends get just a bit creepier this week as we dive into Dudley Town, the Georgia Guidestones, and The Death Comet.

Darkness. Deeper and deeper. In the dream you can never close your eyes, you always have to see it. Everything you’ve done thus far has lead to this, regrettably. You knew it was out there, you had the opportunity to do something, but you always shut your eyes to the only truth. The long-fingered hands followed your shadows and nerves from every room, backwards up the stairs. You knew that a...

We’re back to normal, folks, in this the first of many perfectly normal episodes, I, the description writer Clara, do declare. The boys have a lot of catching up to do, Zeitgeist-wise, but not a lot of time due to budgeting errors and overlong coverage of America’s favorite movie series of the past 8 weeks. So it’s a shorter episode and we hope you forgive us. Video games are a-b...

In 2017, a series had a vision. To bring an end to everything it had been building for the past 16 years. That series was the Fast and Furious Cinematic Universe and this is that end. With a new director in F. Gary Gray and the same ole Chris Morgan blood pumping through its veins, this movie sought to be what no other FFCU movie could be. Somewhat decent. We’ve seen the highs, the lows, and...

In 2015, Justin Lin had a dream, to direct other movies. So another man stepped up to fill the void he left. That man was James Wan. Famed director of the Saw series and The Conjuring. A veteran of horror movies joined the FFCU to create a monster of a movie with a plot so convoluted, you might as well saw off your foot to get free from it. All your favorite names appear in the opening credits, ju...

In 2013, a man had a dream vision while being struck by the lightning bolt of inspiration: To make a movie with three titles and to use them interchangeably in various forms of marketing and representation of the film.  That man was Justin Lin and this film is his last (in this franchise). And if the confusing title is any indication, the plot is just as confusing. What’s not confusing, is h...

In 2011, a man had a dream. A dream to create the best action/car/heist movie of all time set in Brazil, using an already established franchise and characters people already knew. Unfortunately, Hannah Barbara would not give up the rights to Speed Buggy, so Justin Lin had to fall back to The Fast and Furious Franchise instead. For fun, he brought along Chris Morgan, writer of the previous film, fo...

It’s 2009. Every movie around us is dark, gritty, serious with heroes facing real problems and true conflict. Justin Lin is back to rework a movie franchise that didn’t know where it was going. His vision? Drop. The. “The”s. That’s right. The FFCU is back and it’s more streamlined than ever. Forget Sean Boswell, we’re going back to AMERICA this time around...

In the gone-by year of 2006, famed director Justin Lin was a virtually unknown, untested director with nothing but a name and a dream. A dream to unite the passion of American and German film while exploring the third, unrelated culture of Japan through the eyes of a piece of wood masquerading as a person. Justin Lin set out to see this dream become a reality and to answer a question. What happens...

The action continues this week on Zero Credit(s) as the Boys dive cylinder-head-first into John Singleton’s entry in the FFCU. This episode, much like the sequel they’re discussing, is both tighter and more action-oriented than its predecessor. Could this movie possibly live up to the promises made by The Turbo Charged Prelude for 2 Fast 2 Furious? What does it truly mean to be a cop?...