Abject Suffering

Howdy, Quaid. If you're watching this, that means that Kuato is dead, and you led us to him. I knew that you wouldn't let me down. Sorry for all of the shit I've put you through, but hey, what are friends are for? All I want to do is wish you happiness and good living, old buddy, but unfortunately, that's not gonna happen. You see, that's "my" body you have there, and I want it back. Sorry for bei...

This week on Abject Suffering, we learn a valuable lesson. To never do educational games again.

This week we talk about [dies]

Journey with us to the heart of blandness. Watch for the polygons, they're extra sharp this time of year.

Part 2 of the Zoo Dog Chronicles proceeds, with us taking the Angel Quiz. Will we ascend to heaven? Or will be burn in hell? Links: Video version of the Angel Quiz video — Please, you have to watch this.

Welcome to the series finale of Abject Suffering, because we'll never find anything better than this. Pack it up and turn out the lights, Cheers-style.

Come out, come out, wherever you are. Barney loves you. Barney wants to find you. Barney wants to kiss you forever.

What's the most patriotic thing to do with your own dead body? The answer may surprise you.

Scientists toiled for years to create a game whose title is invisible to modern search engines. This is the fruit of their labor.

Listen in to hear two sad adults talk about how their adolescence was shaped by a fascination with violence.

It's the 100th episode, so it only makes sense that we talk about Action 52. Numerlogically, of course. Let's consider the rippling chests of the Cheetahmen, while we record live in front of our most loyal Patreon backers.

Sam, we have to talk. You suggested an application. A paint application. Others should take note, we might not do this again. However, this paint program inspired us to talk about the depraved life of Mr. Ed as a depraved BDSM sub, and we add another to the ranks of Friends of Abject Suffering.

It's a redemption the likes of which can only be delivered on Abject Suffering, as we find goodness within a maligned classic and gather enemies along the way.

Allison Baker joins us to talk about one of the most infamous NES games of all time. Also, we introduce a fun new character. Special Guest: Allison Baker.

It's a classic Abject Suffering switcharoo as we talk a little bit about King's Quest V for the NES, and then pivot to talk about Buffo the Clown.

Peach the Lobster. Wag the dog. Redeem the creator.

A disturbing exegesis of clown biology, reproduction, and maximum strength.

90's comics? Yes, please.

The SNES is remembered fondly for its RPGs, but it took a while for them to become, you know... good. What does this have to do with Klowns? Listen and find out.

Of all the episodes we've ever recorded, this one peaks the earliest.

The second of our live-streamed episodes, Gary brings Courier Crisis to the table... a game that precedes Crazy Taxi by several years but fails miserably where that later game succeeded. Also, a contentious discussion about Offspring.

The Psygnosis Train continues in our first live-streamed episode of Abject Suffering. Kole brought Puggsy to the table, a staple of his childhood that -- it turns out -- isn't so much terrible as it is inscrutable. Also, we discuss lycanthropic buildings.

Prepare to beat up two nerd with conflicted opinions about marijuana culture. Also, prepare for a Crick-esque surprise.

An earnest discussion on ghosts, jerkin' it right, and the nature of belief.

The odds were stacked against us. However, a despicably racist and universally reviled game can still bring some delight. Bring it on, Bad Rats.