We're Not Critics Podcast - formerly Movie Pain or Pleasure

Home is where the heart is. But sometimes our hearts fall for another place we see on the screen. We share fifteen mostly fictional places we'd love to live in if we could travel into TV and movies.

The 1980s were a time of excess, greed, and....reindeer cocaine? We review "Santa Claus the Movie," starring an adorable Dudley Moore and the hammiest we've ever seen John Lithgow. 

This much anticipated (was it though?) follow-up to the cult classic "A Christmas Story" was as disappointing as a visit to Santa at Higbee's department store. It was full of missed opportunities and follow-through on plot lines. Listen to us rant like Ralphie's dad about what irked us, although there were a few moments that were in the spirit of the original.

Sometimes movies can be a pleasant surprise. We thoroughly enjoyed this sweet, wholesome, and very funny Adam Sandler movie that was made as..well..as a joke. It's the perfect movie to get you into the Halloween spirit or as a palate cleanser from all the horror movies we know you've been watching.

We found this "Never Back Down" sequel just revolting. Join us as we fight our way through a tiresome hate watch.

It's a two-for-one: movie/TV recommendations AND book recommendations! We share nineteen of our favorite book to screen adaptations--usually the book is better, but sometimes the movie wins out. We also have a few honorable and dishonorable mentions.

Is "Left Behind" (2001) starring Kirk Cameron a guilty pleasure or a hate watch? Normally we go into Christian movies ready to laugh or cringe, but this one left us feeling...well...left behind. On the plus side, Kirk Cameron is less obnoxious and preachy than he usually is in this one. This is a companion episode to Episode 46: Left Behind 2014.

An apocalyptic Christian movie with Nicholas Cage? Sign us UP for a guilty pleasure! We compare the 2014 remake of "Left Behind" to the lackluster 2001 original.

It's a Halloween guilty pleasure with "Hocus Pocus 2"! Join us as we cackle our way through this sequel to a witchy classic. This episode contains spoilers.

The moon is falling! And so is the credibility of this movie! We hate watch our way through "Moonfall," a disaster movie that's just a disaster.

Elivs is big, loud, and shiny...and so is the movie by the same name. There was some pleasure watching this movie, and there was some pain, so put on your blue suede shoes and join us as we talk about the highs and lows of this epic biopic about the late King of Rock and Roll.

It's time for some spoooooky movies! Join us as we count down our favorite horror movies to watch this Halloween (or any time you want a good scare).

What do you get when Ashtray from "Euphoria" and Rocky Balboa star in a superhero movie? A...decent movie. With some see-them-from-a-mile-away twists and lackluster storytelling, we weren't too impressed with this Amazon Prime original, but the two main stars did an excellent job, and Sylvester Stallone can still pack a punch. Worth a watch.

Disney, how could you? Tom Hanks, how could you?? We absolutely ROAST this new live action release of "Pinocchio" from Disney+. Stay til the end for our dream casting in what we think would be a better remake.

**This episode contains spoilers!** Strike first! Strike hard! No mercy! We do a full review of "Cobra Kai" season 5, the most anime-esque of the seasons and the most demonstrative of Korean martial arts, which two taekwondo nerds very much appreciate. 

Need some TV shows to binge? From drama to comedy to anime to reality shows, we've got you covered. 

Join us for a short, spoiler-free review of "Dragonball Super: Super Heroes." While AJ, a Dragonball connoisseur, wasn't entirely impressed, Melanie found little to dislike about it. If you want a pure hate watch, listen to our "Dragonball: Evolution" episode.

In this short episode we do a spoiler-free review of the 2022 anime movie "Belle," which was inspired by Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." Tune in to hear us (joined by our stuffed squishy panda Bamboo) share what we liked about this movie. As of August 2022 you can watch this movie on HBO Max.

If "Batman Forever" was a guilty pleasure, "Batman and Robin" is a pure hate watch. Other than some surprisingly sweet moments with Alfred and Bruce Wayne, this movie is pure garbage. Join us as we do a play by play of the worst parts of the worst Batman movie.

Holy unexpected hilarity, Batman! We're back with a review of "Batman Forever" starring Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, and Tommy Lee Jones. Melanie and AJ cackle like the Riddler through this episode and do a Batman-related Q&A at the end. Play along with our questions and tell us which live action Batman is your favorite. 

Don't fear the reaper--Death comes for us all! Sometimes in very creative (and gross) ways. We take a wild ride through the five-movie "Final Destination Franchise," and Melanie muses on why dumb horror movies are fun for summer watching. We also do a question lightning round about the best and worst elements of the movies. 

Put on your dark lipstick, wash it off with Noxema, and chug some Sunny D--it's time for a late 1990s horror movie! We intended to hate watch "Urban Legend" from 1998, but it turned out to be a decent, predictable-but-fun slasher movie and a nostalgic time capsule. Join us for a play-by-play and stay til the end for movie recommendations. 

We took a weekend trip to Mineral Wells, Texas, and experienced both "Lightyear" and "Crazy Water." "Lightyear" was action-packed, moving, and funny, and the Crazy Water (from the eponymous mineral wells) had an odd but pleasant alkaline taste. Enjoy our spoiler-free review of a movie that will delight Buzz Lightyear fans of all ages. 

What did we just watch?? Oh Nicholas Cage, why did you get our hopes up with the promise of good insanity when instead you delivered a nonsensical post-apocalyptic nursery rhyme? Join us as we hate watch our way through this sci-fi/Western/Japanese fantasy movie. There are some funny quotes that make it somewhat redeemable. Stay to the end for recommendations for better movies. 

Feeling stressed? Kick back and relax--it's summer! We share twenty movies and TV shows that will help you get your cool summer groove on after a day in the sun. We also share some surprising trivia from AJ's dad's past and discuss the Madea Cinematic Universe.