Unfolding with Kathy Varol

What if you replaced your “to do” list with a “to be” list?  What would that mean? Instead of approaching each item as a hurdle to get through, so you can move onto the next item (and approach it in the same way) - you would approach each item with your full presence. You would submerge yourself fully in the task. No disassociation. No resentment. Just presence, curiosity, play, love, care, a...

If you’ve been in an unsafe relationship, give yourself compassion as you heal. It will take a while to start trusting that your environment is safe. It will take a while for the patterns you developed to protect yourself to start shifting. Now is the time to pour into yourself more self-compassion than you ever thought possible.

When you compartmentalize you, by definition, show up as less than your full self.   

Let’s dive into two very different ways to show up in work and life…  

The collection of things that make up you are different than the things that make up anyone else. There is no pre-existing mold that can capture you. It’s the very fact that this collection you contain doesn’t exist anywhere else that makes you unique and special. That makes you valuable. That makes you irreplaceable.   

The times that I’ve betrayed myself, when I’ve shied away from acting in alignment with myself are regrets that don’t leave me. I’m thankful for those memories because they are reminders that it is far more painful to betray myself than it is to act in a way that someone else might think is “too much”.   

There are things that cannot be sped up, no matter how hard you try.    The seasons will take the time they always take Winter won’t end faster, because you’re excited for the spring. The day won’t be longer, and the night won’t be shorter, to accommodate your plans.   You cannot water a plant faster than it can drink. Faster than the soil can absorb it.  If you’re watering too...

The natural rhythm of the Earth - this shifting of it’s axis - causes a balanced leaning in and leaning out throughout the year. This movement is what creates change, sparking the rhythm of the seasons, and the cycle of life. This rhythmic dance is a reminder to balance our own leaning in and leaning out. Our own seeing and being seen. Our own give and take.   

When you act in alignment with yourself, you become a guide. A teacher for others. Small acts can cause a tsunami ripple effect. When you put your energy toward something that truly matters to you, don’t let someone else convince you it doesn’t matter just because they don’t understand it. If you’re doing something that matters to you, it matters.   

Let’s dive into the other side of “if it’s no a hell yes, it’s a no”, that’s often overlooked…  

How you are - your very being - will trigger certain people. That does not mean you should shrink yourself, in the unattainable hope to avoid ever triggering someone else. Instead, when a trigger happens, you can use it as a doorway for connection.  Lean into the doorway, holding compassion for yourself and the other person. This is where the real magic happens. There are certain wounds each...

The tiniest things can have an enormous impact. When done in repetition, over time, and across masses. Tiny changes can shift the entire reality of what we see and experience.   

It’s through our sharing with each other, that our awareness and understanding expands. Each of us has an important perspective to share, but a singular perspective is rarely a complete picture.   

The point of life is not to survive. After all, none of us make it out of life alive. So the point isn’t survival. The point is to thrive. The point is to thrive in connection with others. Humans are social creatures. The point is to see and be seen. To help and be helped. In equal measure. We weren’t meant to live life alone.   

It’s easy to blame others for the situation we find ourselves in. But blaming others disempowers us. It gives up control. While taking accountability can be scary, and feel overwhelming, it’s also incredibly powerful. If you take accountability, you take control. This means you can change the situation. Here I share how I took accountability for the dissatisfaction I had with the depth of my relat...

Many people say they are looking for balance between work and life, but there are some people that deep down aren’t actually seeking balance. Their actions continue to perpetuate workaholic hours. Constantly working until bedtime and on the weekends, while their colleagues are living a balanced life. Here I share the 4 most common reasons people bury themselves in workaholism.  

Pay attention to the energy you have toward experiences. The energy you feel toward an experience ends up becoming the energy you feel toward yourself while engaging in that experience. For example, if you feel resentful about going to a dinner party, you’ll resent yourself while you’re at the dinner party (and you’ll resent everyone else there too). Or, if you don’t value certain chores, you won’...

Have you ever considered how each of us can simultaneously fear being “too much” and being “not enough” all at the same time? Crazy, right? When you decide how you show up based on an external reference point (i.e. other people), that reference point is a moving target. A moving target is a shaky foundation. What the world needs is for you to show up based on your internal reference point. Based o...

The law of attraction means that the things you spend your energy thinking about, end up materializing. It means what you think about creates your reality. What does this mean? Here I share how my belief that “I am not enough” actually cause me to show up as less than myself, thereby being less than myself.   

I share a passage from the book, The Nature Of Personal Reality: Specific, Practical Techniques for Solving Everyday Problems and Enriching The Life You Know (A Seth Book) by Jane Roberts. The passage shares how beliefs shape your reality, and the importance of not suppressing thoughts or feelings.   

Surrender. Allow what is, to be. You are not alone. You don’t have to do everything on your own.  Separation is an illusion. You are connected to everything. Be open to receiving what is already there, waiting to be invited in.   

There is a romanticized narrative of two people merging into one when they marry. A narrative about two halves becoming one whole. I hate everything about this narrative. It supports a lie that each one of us needs another person to be complete. You are complete without anyone else. There are no exceptions. You were born enough. You were born complete and you still are. Also, when you merge with s...

Have you ever tried to backtrack to the first moment you started to question your self-worth? For me, it was when I became aware that I am female. Since females have a long history of being treated as the lesser gender. So I disassociated with the parts of me there are female and exaggerated the parts of me that are male. But it’s only in accepting all aspects of yourself, the divine feminine incl...

Conflict is inherent in life. It’s not something that can be avoided by being a “good” person, or being a “kind” person.  Conflict is integrated into the very fabric of life, and yet it’s something most of us were never taught how to do in a healthy we. Instead, we vilify conflict. However, conflict is a doorway that offers gifts. The gifts of seeing something, someone, and yourself different...

We all know what toxic masculinity is. We know what it looks like. We know how it feels to be on the receiving end of it. But what is toxic femininity? My husband asked me that question, and it took a long time for me to find my answer to it.