Three Bean Salad

This week the beans doff their Harris Tweed flap caps to Chrissie of Bremen whose topic suggestion of farming has slipped out of the bean machine’s birth canal, glistening with the lukewarm goo of banter before landing softly on the (also lukewarm) straw of compelling, independent broadcasting and bleating with the timbre of nature’s very own promotional jingle. The beans shall return come the rad...

The Industrial Revolution, the assassination of Julius Caesar, the debut performance of “Wang Dang Doodle” by Howlin’ Wolf, the wedding of Jérôme d'Ambrosio and Eleonore von Habsburg, The Black Death. What do these things have in common? All of them took place within spitting distance of some quantity of wine probably. No wonder then that Charlie of St. Louis has selected wine as this week’s topic...

Trigger warning for any misophonia sufferers this episode (although Henry probably weeded these people out long ago). Olives is this week’s topic with thanks to Lewis of Lewisham. Obviously no one really understands what an olive is so it’s a tough one for the beans but the beans battle on gamely nonetheless. Giant snails also get a mention and about ruddy time. Join our PATREON for ad-free episod...

Cloche Bleue: noun 1) Term used to denote a blue bell or a cat named Bluebell by a French speaker or by members of London’s metropolitan elite  2) archaic Obsolete Royal Naval punishment also known as the “Arctic Arse Spinnaker”  3) A curate’s egg of an episode in which the podcasters forget to find a proper topic to discuss after being mesmerised by the work of a French jinglist called Samuel Joi...

Matt from Newcastle gets the beans chatting about the beach this week. Sure they cover the hits (your shingle, your windbreaks, your snorkels and so on) but they also cast a bean smeared lens over the behavioural psychology, the paleoanthropology and yes the very mythos of the towel/bare arse interface. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansal...

This weeks topic is tough guys and that’s thanks to Joe from Bremen in the Cotswolds who clearly understands what this podcast is actually about. Naturally the beans thrive in this chatosphere. After all, one of them has at least seven extremely small scars, one of them has driven a convertible with the top down in Wales and one of them is a card carrying beefcake. With thanks to our editor Laura...

Isaac of Bremen recommends the beans set banter to spooky and discuss ghosts this week. As you’d imagine they put what has long been a contentious subject to bed once and for all and they’re very brave about it at the same time but in an unassuming and modest way (and we’re not talking false modesty mind you). Benjamin Partridge also reveals the secret fuel of the Jingle Meister. With thanks to ou...

Did the druidic architecture firm that designed Stonehenge make their pitch with a scale model made of beans? Were the stones moved halfway across Britain by crabs? (NB on a map the direction of travel is sideways!) Was Stonehenge the location of King Arthur’s stag do? There’s absolutely no way of knowing any of the above as it’s a prehistoric structure (ie built in a zero red tape environment so...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March). Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of cosmic health and safety) Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

For the last episode of the season place your head in the jaws of podcasting and let its lukewarm slobber cascade into your ears because the theme, with thanks to Stephen of Ireland, is the circus. The beans will be away for the month of Frerbrurary investigating whether or not fleas actually enjoy circus skills training or performance work but shall return full of the proverbial in March. With th...

“Frankly, 007, I don’t give a damn!” That’s right, this week’s topic, courtesy of Diogo of Lisbon, is James Bond. We’ve all seen the movies, sure. But has the world actually taken the time to just stop for a second and listen to what some blokes have to say about them? With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/three...

Holly of Portsmouth blesses the beans with the ancient chat topic of castles for this week’s episode. They get close harmony groups and genetically engineered toads out of the way in short order and before you know it are on to an absolutely watertight movie pitch that will probably redefine cinema for a generation. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes an...

Ali requests that the Beans explore the topic of architecture and they do their best to take the roof off, knock through the kitchen and dining room to create a greater sense of space, and install a cantilevered lukewarm sauna. As always, listeners will benefit from a working knowledge of former professional tennis player and BBC sports anchor Sue Barker. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw....

Emma has the beans discuss fairy tales for the last episode of 2023. It’s nasty business on the whole as anyone who has actually read an original fairy tale or had a fairy tale based upon their own life experiences will know. If you’re too busy to listen and are simply after this week’s take home message it’s probably that you ought to be very, very, very, very, very cautious about making any sort...

It’s only a matter of time before the beans’ merch empire knocks the competition into a cocked hat with the launch of Beantopia: Three Bean Salad’s very own maxi cruise ship experience. Prebook for the maiden voyage of the as-yet unbuilt vessel now to enjoy a floating paradise replete with an all-you-can-eat bean buffet, ocean going velodrome, manmade desert, Punch and Judy musical flume experienc...

Hats off to Ross of Vancouver and then immediately put a different hat on along with a rubber nose and a set of matching eyebrow wigs because Ross has got the beans wagging their false chins about disguises this week. This episode also includes an update on Henry’s Beefcake Journey and the secret to success. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a mont...

The beans are back! A bumper episode to kick off the new series. Lots to cover. And Samuel steers the beans towards the topic of assassinations which absolutely classic Samuel frankly. Knuckle down and let’s get through this together people. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.com Get in...

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December). Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

To round off series whatever it is Isabella feeds surfin' into the bean machine in the hope of crystal clear, effluent-free lukewarm banter. Will the beans turtle roll some ankle slappers? Or will they hang ten on a shubie’s mushburger? Why not tombstone a paddlepuss and find out? Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Get in touch: threeb...

Definitely a cursed episode this one. No one’s fault. Worth knowing going in though. If you’re brave enough to take the plunge you’ll discover that Rowan had the beans grapple with the Trojan War and you’ll probably say to yourself “That shouldn’t present a problem to the beans although I bet they end up being a bit reductive about calzones” and you’d be right. Join our PATREON for ad-free episode...

Muriel from Illinois has the beans discuss The Higgs Boson/Particles this week. Listeners might be concerned the beans are entering knowledge-gap territory here but it turns out between them they average 2 ⅔ science GCSEs a piece*. *grades attained unavailable and what do they mean anyway really??? Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad Ge...

Thank goodness one of the beans is a jewel-encrusted member of London’s glitterati because this week’s topic, thanks to Catherine of Bremen, is fashion. What do your chinos say about you? What do you say about your chinos? And what would your chinos say about what you’d said about them if they’d overheard it? All questions the beans are unable to answer for you of course but while you’re working t...

It’s widely accepted that if Elvis Presley were alive today he would have made a really decent podcaster. Where better then to discuss his life and legacy than on a podcast which, at the time of writing, is ranked as Finland’s 245th most popular sleep aid? Thanks to Dan (presumably of Bremen) for feeding The King into the bean machine. Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus epis...

The topic of orange is wmg’s gift to the beans this week and you can bet your bottom dollar the beans don’t just squeeze every last drop of chat juice out of it. No siree! They candy the peel, compost the pith and pulverise the pips to extract linoleic acid which could be used in the production of organic varnishes for example (metaphorically). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly b...