The SelfWork Podcast

What are the gifts of saying no? The word that’s often used to talk about this is ‘boundary.’ Do you have trouble saying no? Or can you identify the how, when, where, and why to say no? Or put another way, when to say yes? We’ll focus on how much of your decision-making is affected by depression or anxiety, or even personality disorders that have a huge bearing on how you decide to say no. Our voi...

Acknowledging emotional abuse can be difficult but it's just as much "abuse" as its physical and sexual counterparts. I received an email recently that again brought to life the emotional cruelty that can be the reality of some children. In fact, his story reminded me of many others I’ve heard – of how someone in authority can be not just manipulative but emotionally abusive. The harm...

In this episode we learn exactly how couples therapy began. When you’re called “the couple from hell” by your own therapist, that’s something to think about. But Harville Hendrix and his wife of several decades, Helen Hunt, took that all in stride. They're the authors of the book “ Getting the Love You Want ” which sold millions of copies and put them, when it was published in 1988, on the top...

Today we’re going to talk about how to manage your emotions. Sometimes you might feel as though you can’t feel anything, other times that you feel too much and your emotions are leading you to the choices you’re making. Or you can feel that you’re stuck in a feeling – or you’re portraying an emotion to others that perhaps you don’t recognize or mean to (usually a case of ‘how’ you’re saying someth...

Today I'm answering your questions about depression, therapy, and manipulative moms. So, it's a grab bag of topics! Whether you're a SelfWork listener or you've read something I've written... somehow my work has reached you. And I love getting your questions! More specifically, we'll discuss what's called anhedonia in depression, or losing the enjoyment or meaning in ac...

This special episode of SelfWork will guide you to step into your inner power as we talk with author and personal branding expert... Jessica Zweig. I usually don’t have spiritual authors or leaders on SelfWork – not because I don’t believe in the importance of spirituality – but I’ve always kept my own spiritual beliefs more private from my work. This time, Ashley Stahl  - who not only has been on...

Do you know what hormonal replacement therapy is? Today's SelfWork guest is Donna White, an expert in bio-identical hormone replacement therapy. She's the recent author of " Hormone Makeover " and has also built an academy, The Bio-Identical Replacement Therapy Academy, that trains medical practitioners from all over the world about effective hormone replacement. Whether you're...

Today we’re going to talk all about blame. If you're one of the people who blame easily, if you find fault with everyone but yourself, then that's a huge problem. Or if you're in a relationship with someone who rarely if ever takes responsibility, they could be suffering with one of the Cluster B personality disorders, such as borderline or narcissism. Sadly, finding blame leads you to...

Today our focus is all about the safe psychedelic use of ketamine. And Dr. Steven Radowitz will be answering my questions. Sadly, the news of Matthew Perry’s autopsy report broke recently and revealed the absolute unethical behavior of the doctors responsible for prescribing ketamine for him. As the story evolves, in case it’s helpful, we wanted to share this content below for your consideration a...

Today I want to talk about how to find your purpose. One of the things I’ve been most grateful for in my life has been the sense of purpose that my work and my family have given me. And yet I know that many people don’t know what their sense of purpose is. I’m going to hope this episode helps you begin to find your purpose. The mantra of SelfWork is “what you can do about it” – and so I’ll offer s...

Today's topic is on the incredible power of journaling. My communications manager, friend, and "auxiliary brain" - Christine Mathias - has chosen this week's Second Time Around episode. Here's a quick introduction! I was caught off guard the other day when in my FaceBook group , I asked them to journal about a specific topic, and someone wrote that they didn't know what jou...

Do you know how to really listen? Well... you can learn. I'm out on vacation this week and my friend and incredible audio engineer John Crowley takes over the host spot, as he picks one of his favorite episodes from previous years. And this one is truly out of the distant past! Only the eighth episode I ever recorded. Wow, listening to it brought back so many memories! (Mostly how nervous I wa...

Today we're going to talk about suicide in construction in honor of Suicide Prevention Month. Dr. Vince Hafeli, a husband, father, and construction guy, tells his very personal story of becoming suicidal and choosing to come forward to talk about healing. Vince has been a leader in the construction industry for well over 30 years; his 2023 TEDx earned the #5 highest spot in the highest number...

What's a good enough parent? There were many times when I was actively parenting our child that I thanked a psychology researcher named Winnicott. When he was writing (decades ago...), mothers were blamed for everything - even autism was caused by a "refrigerator mom." Winnicott came along and let moms off the hook a little bit, saying that their caring – as long as it was good enough...

Today’s we’re going to focus on emotional detachment and distancing. I'll explain what it is and when it's healthy - and maybe even necessary - to do just that. I'm also going to bring forward a harsh criticism of a blogpost on unconditional love that I wrote years ago, after having the experience with parents and adult children needing to distance themselves from family, sometimes pai...

Today we’re focusing on the tools necessary to help you listen and "how to be there” for someone else. We'll discuss what it’s like to listen to the stories of those who trust you to create a safe space for them to talk – and what it means to “be there” for someone. What it’s like to hear things that are very hard to hear. And what it’s like to carry on with your own life as you do so. I’m...

How would you answer the question, "How's your mental health?' If you watched the Olympics, you saw Simone Biles not only succeed wildly, but demonstrate to all the world how important maintaining her mental health has been to her. She talked openly about regular therapy sessions and the meditation practice that you could see her doing between competitions. Today we’re going to talk ab...

How do you grieve a parent's death? Even older adults have told me they feel "orphaned" after both of their parents die. So imagine what can happen when a parent dies when a child is young . There are all kinds of reasons for that child to feel as if their life will never be the same - that the loss makes it impossible to recover their innocence or contentment. Today we'll hear fro...

Perspective is a gift. But most of us gain our perspective from years of living and learning. Life often hands us challenges that build that perspective and that wisdom. But not too many people have two catastrophic medical conditions to cope with – and certainly not two that occurred in the span of a decade. Lindsey Roy had just that. At age 31, Lindsey Roy was named vice-president at Hallmark Ca...

You have to acknowledge your depression in order to begin to talk about it. That may sound simple to do. But it's not quite so simple. Why? Because nobody particularly wants to realize or admit that your way of "being" has changed, without you trying to change it. And in fact, you may have become so accustomed to being somewhat depressed, that it can lull you into thinking, "Well,...

How do you thrive with anxiety? Dr. David Rosemarin is our guest today who talks specifically about how to understand your anxiety as something that can help you thrive - when you work with it, and not against it. David is the director of the Spirituality and Mental Health Program at McLean Hospital. And he's an associate professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medic...

Today we're focusing on the lasting impact of trauma. Many of us are quite good - or efficient is perhaps a better word – at avoiding and denying and building a façade that’s rock solid around you… that no one would guess that trauma had every occurred in your life. Or how it could be affecting you now. I have a story for you that will illustrate how easily it can be affecting you in ways that...

What do you do when you hit a wall? And what IS that wall anyway? How often are you able to recognize that that’s what’s happening? Some of you might quickly say, “I can’t hit a wall. I’ve got too many responsibilities. I need to make money. I need to keep going no matter what.” The three walls we'll focus on today are exhaustion, self-doubt, and saying, "I don't know" or "I ne...

Perfectly hidden depression can end in tragedy. I don’t quite remember when Penny Gray and I first talked. It was after 2019 when PHD was published. But not long after. She’s the widow of a man, Dave, who tragically fit the rubric of perfectly hidden depression. She tells the story in this interview about how she happened upon the term "perfectly hidden depression" when she was seeking som...

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a fast-growing therapeutic model that I wanted you here at SelfWork to know more about. So, I reached out to Dr. Diana Hill who's an expert on the technique and a firm believer/practitioner in what it has to offer. ACT seems to offer safety and structure, which of course is vital in therapy . I found her to be very real, approachable, and caring as sh...