The School of Life

We long to reach a state where we can at last be happy and calm forever. But so long as we are alive, stability will always elude us for reasons we would do well to understand and accept with grace. We haven't failed if we can't reach a 'happily ever after'; we're simply very human. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking ar...

This is a film about how the world became modern - and in particular what is exciting and beautiful about this development, and at the same time, what is hugely depressing and possibly madness-inducing about it. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription...

We sometimes assume that good thinking happens in quiet rooms at large desks with views. But really, for a variety of fascinating reasons, it happens most often in the shower. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/rp8rJ Be more mindful...

We often imagine that what will win us friends and esteem is strength. But surprisingly, it’s vulnerability that’s at the core of friendship and likeability. This is an invitation to make friends with one’s own weaknesses. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life S...

We know how many adult problems come down to issues from childhood - but what exactly is that wondrous, hugely desirable thing, an emotionally-healthy childhood? This film identifies the central themes of the sort of childhood that can leave us balanced, happy and sane. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conve...

The philosopher Spinoza shows us that our minds possess an under-appreciated ability to adopt a broader perspective, from which our anxieties appear vanishingly small - and eminently manageable. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/eT...

Some of the reason why we choose such unsuitable partners in love is that we aren't trying to find someone who ideally suits us, we're looking out for someone who feels familiar. We recreate in adulthood patterns of attachment that we know from childhood - and thereby often perpetuate cycles of suffering and dissatisfaction. FURTHER READING "Konrad Lorenz, who was born in 1903 and died in 1989, wa...

The idea of ‘atonement’ sounds very old-fashioned and is deeply rooted in religious tradition. To atone means, in essence, to acknowledge one’s capacity for wrongness and one’s readiness for apology and desire for change. It’s a concept that every society needs at its center. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles,...

Friedrich Nietzsche had a particular fondness for a concept called (in Latin) 'amor fati', a Stoic acceptance of one's fate and a commitment to embrace reality, in all its beauty and pain. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/9vmq3 Be...

We are holding a three-day conference in San Francisco from the 23-25 March 2018. We'll be covering the most important ideas we teach as well as building friendship and a sense of community. It'll be fun and educational. MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on The School of Life in our playlist: http://bit.ly/2g0YFKq SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.fac...

We tend to feel very alone with the challenges of our own sex lives – but thereby miss a general truth: there isn’t anyone on the planet for whom sex hasn’t been, either now or at some point, an acutely difficult subject. We shouldn’t compound our miseries by imagining we are alone in having them. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thoug...

Many of us feel ‘stuck’ - wishing we could escape a job or relationship, while being incapable of doing so. Coming unstuck involves examining unhelpful messages we internalised in childhood. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/BI2Sn...

Having had a good enough parent is a vital component of mental health in adulthood. But what really is a good enough parent? How can one tell if one had one or not? This film guides us as to what might have gone very right - and sometimes very wrong - in our childhoods. Sign up to our mailing list to receive 10% off your first order with us: https://r1.dotdigital-pages.com/p/6TU0-63X/hellotsol If...

We’re hugely invested in the idea that the cause of obesity lies with diet – and that we should therefore solve the problem with kale and apple soup (and other such products). But the real cause of obesity has nothing to do with food. It lies in our emotional under-nourishment. We will start to eat less when we feel more connected, more understood and more in touch with our feelings. Enjoying our...

We are often taught that the best way to prove attractive is to smile. The idea feels logical and for the most part highly appropriate, but it shouldn't sideline the particular appeal of visible sadness and melancholy. An essay on the charm and depth of sad faces. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversatio...

We cannot change the parents we had – but there is always an option, in later life, to learn to care for ourselves in new and perhaps better ways. In other words, there are opportunities to learn how to reparent ourselves. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life S...

It sounds like a hugely arrogant and self-serving suggestion to imply that cleverness might lead you to loneliness. But if you define cleverness in a selective (and modest) way, there may truly be an aspect whereby it can lead to a certain isolation. Enjoying our YouTube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and mo...

Many of us lead lives that are harder than they should be because we haven't realised a basic thing about ourselves: that we are introverts. We therefore keep driving ourselves into situations and challenges that should best be avoided and neglect our distinctive style of being content. We should dare to learn whether we belong in the introverted camp. FURTHER READING You can read more on this and...

Most of what we find frustrating and difficult in other people’s characters can be captured by the term ‘immaturity’. Whatever its manifestations, immaturity has two fundamental causes. FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/33UrjEc MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at...

We’re often encouraged to think that the secret to starting is a business is to have a bold and entirely original idea. But the suggestion here is that all we really need is to LOVE something a little more than most other people do: that will be enough to help us stand out from the competition. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-...

They are hugely useful of course but in many ways, we buy the advantages our phones give us at a subtly high price we don’t entirely recognise. Some reflections on how to live well around phones. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/P...

We're often encouraged to be dismissive of the idea of self-help books, but reading in order to grow emotionally is one of the most serious and important of all literary tasks. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/9tnij Be more mindfu...

Feeling lonely can seem like a very modern problem - but our sense of being alone has a history, and the more we understand the peculiarities of this history, the more we can be liberated to enjoy - rather than feel ashamed about - our solitude. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more wi...

We prefer people who are ‘straightforward’: who are direct and unambiguous about their desires and characters. Becoming more so involves untangling the self-deceptions we constructed when we were young. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https:/...

In order to be calm and at ease with ourselves, we need regular periods where we do something rather strange-sounding: process our emotions. Here is a guide to this essential psychological move. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/eu...