The Greatest Generation

When Dr. Mark gets keistered during an attack on the Delta Flyer, Mark Seven gets a little too comfortable with their anti-photonic captors. But when the holodecks on Voyager become diplomatic fodder, Paris discreetly prescribes Tuvok a terrible crime. What’s Vulcan employment law w/r/t Pon Farr? Is there any gay panic to be found in this story? Who has a total subjugation blindspot? It’s the epis...

When Commander Harkins forces Barclay to take a week off, he follows Troi on vacation and realizes he’s been suspicious of his ex. But when a completely different Barcláy materializes on Voyager, the crew takes a more trust than verify approach and barely escapes a Ferengi lobe-enlargement plot. What is the mistletoe of the body? Which book should Star Trek publish next? Does Voyager need an addit...

When Doctor Mark gets stolen from sicksbay by an unscrupulous feline trader, he’s sold to an alien hospital and put to work immediately. But when he takes great umbrage with the Dinaali health insurance system, he John Q Publics a heartless administrator by using his own rules against him. What’s the best way to write a Star Trek character? Who hates Gregory Itzin? Which host admits to light embez...

When members of the crew start going into comas, Tuvok takes the case and falls in love with the mystery assailant. But when he realizes he’s the one melding Maquis into a mutiny, a loyalty test by Chakotay puts him in position to take back the ship. Which muscles are ripped after 500 episodes? What’s the most common type of bruise? Where were they storing all the Maquis garb? It’s the episode whe...

When Paris and Kim meet a lady who likes impulse drive, she fits the Delta Flyer with a wooden shoe so they can enter the big race. But when BLT decides not to get left behind again, she takes the worst seat in the house and brings their relationship problems along for the ride. When do you know mistakes were made? Why aren’t there more white uniforms in Star Trek? What’s the most enjoyable way to...

When the li’lest Borgs leave Voyager for good, Icheb stays aboard to try to Wesley Crusher his way onto the bridge. But when Seven’s cortical node goes on the fritz, her pupil ends up on the trolly tracks where a sacrifice is the only way to save her life. Which body part is the most problematic for gash? What do screenwriting manuals say about Icheb’s brother? How many iPads does it take to make...

When the Borgified dustbuster club infects the beef cube’s central plexus, the Queen starts losing track of Zeros and counters with an ultimatum to force them back. But when Captain Janeway orders the garden center shut down for good, it keeps the resistance movement alive but kills any hope for Seven and Axum. Were there better cliffs to hang from over the summer break? Who thought he could get a...

When Seven starts visiting a garden center in her dreams, the people are familiar and they’re asking for her help. But when the Borgs Queen goes medieval to try to shut down Unimatrix Zero, Captain Janeway plans a dangerous away mission to the Borgs’ coolest cube. What percentage of the ship is available for sexual dalliances with Harry Kim? Why were there so many civilians at Wolf 359? Did Axum d...

When Voyager cuts power to drop off a mysterious passenger, Neelix gets field promoted to storyteller for the li’lest Borgs. But when the details of his tale don’t hold up under scrutiny, there’s no way to know whether the spooky stowaway was real. What are the rules of a regulation power hour? Where are morning margaritas allowed? How do you translate fucked up on scotch to fucked up on Topo Chic...

When Doc Holoday gets bad news from Jupiter Station, he mails himself there to try to impress his dada. But when Dr. Z turns out to be a terrible patient, it takes a conspiracy from Barclay and Troi to bring them together. Which type of prison will Chakotay be sentenced to? What’s the most troubling thing anyone has ever come up with in Star Trek? Why program Haley with such specific kinks? It’s t...

When Burlap Kes shows back up on Voyager, time travel is her motivation for a trip down memory lane. But when Prime Kes convinces herself that she wasn’t groomed by Captain Janeway, she finally warms up to the idea of returning home. Which planet has the slowest orbit around its star? Why aren’t Vidiians interested in Ocampa guts? What do plants in the airponics bay crave? It’s the episode that ha...

When BLT and Ensign Kim crash on a planet full of theatre nerds, their life becomes art, layered with nesting-doll suspense about the ending. But when Voyager locates the Delta Flyer on the day of the big play, BLT leaves the bronze age in peace with an especially dramatic beam out. What makes coleslaw a meal? Is there a St. Louis twist on ambrosia salad? Why aren’t there more survival stories inv...

When a band of celebrity impersonators start tarnishing the Federation’s good name, Captain Janeway tries to patch things up while BLT hunts down gremlins on the ship. But when it turns out the same person is responsible for both problems, beaming her into Voyager’s brig lets the crew turn the con on the con artists. How strong is the antiperspirant placebo effect? Does the Cal Hudson scale hold u...

When Captain Janeway takes an interest in the ship’s biggest losers, a dangerous away mission is her prescription for bringing them back into the fold. But when the Delta Flyer gets away from her and the mission turns into a disaster, letting the dark matter aliens remain a mystery is preferable to letting a jerk end up the hero. What will you never get from a hotel room? Who is the Leah Brahms of...

When the Voyager crew tracks down Icheb’s parents, Seven’s own trauma makes her hesitant to trust them. But when the family reunion escalates from awkward to xenocidal, Captain Janeway changes her mind about needing to let him go. What is the job of adults at a science fair? Is there a fancier name for a sewer pipe? Why do the Borgs hate Yivel? It’s the episode that wants to get Seven a pair of Dr...

When Ensign Kim’s old flame shows up on Voyager, her melting face doesn’t stop him from making a move. But when moody-as-hell middle school borgs overwhelm Seven of Nine, Chakotay suggests adapting her parenting style to a more spontaneous type of fun. Why is Jhet'leya’s loaf still warm? Who does Star Trek want you to fall in love with? When do borgs start growing tubules? It’s the episode that ad...

When the Fair Haven villagers lose their obliviousness algorithms, they start conspiring against the Voyager crew. But when Captain Janeway gives Michael Sullivan a glimpse of her world, they convince the townsfolk their relationships are worth saving. What’s the correct response to a calendar reminder? Did Killmannin only exist on TV? Which is the best variation of “we need to talk”? It’s the epi...

When the Delta Flyer gets captured by the li’lest Borg collective, Seven beams over to find neonatal drones holding the away team hostage. But when Ensign Kim starts throwing wooden shoes into the cube’s shield generator, the standoff over Voyager’s deflector pushes Captain Janeway toward a moral dilemma. What could be worse than a botched circumcision? Is Mezoti more Newt or more Samara? Who give...

When Seven and Tuvok use their shore leave for a busman’s holiday, no one understands why they aren’t interested in Tsunkatse. But when their brat gets blown up and they’re conscripted into the ring, Seven’s only choice is to fight for their lives on the USS UFC. How do you know who does bar the hardest? Can J.G. Hertzler refuse loaf? Where does Neelix do diplomacy? It’s the episode in conflict ab...

When a disheveled away team returns from a particularly grueling milk run, there’s no explanation for the nightmares and flashbacks that start plaguing the ship. But by the time they find the ancient memorial responsible, real memories of war have traumatized the crew. Would following protocol have avoided this whole situation? Is it ever the right time to ‘well actually‘ a gift? What’s the best t...

When aliens of dubious superiority show up in Voyager’s sicksbay, they’re so taken by the EMH’s singing that they invite him to perform on their home world. But when Doc Holoday’s concert earns him a taste of fame, his willingness to leave Voyager puts his most important relationships at risk. How did Marc Maron do it all those years? What constitutes groupie behavior? Why pivot away from children...

When Voyager wanders way too close to another weird space phenomenon, they get written into the mythology of a rapidly evolving culture. But when they can’t break free of the bagel planet’s orbit, the Doctor’s away mission goes way beyond just photographs. What’s the use case for a hotel IV? Can anyone live on a diet of Haribo gummies? Is there an obvious purpose to an astronaut’s crotch zipper? I...

When the crew gets wrapped up in a new holodeck program, even the Captain isn’t immune to its quaint Irish charms. But when Katie takes things too far with the character mods, her Irish goodbye leaves Michael heartbroken at the pub. Does the worst hotel in Vegas have a tagline? Is Indiana weather just for ambience? What’s available in the vending machine at an assisted living facility? It’s the ep...

When Lieutenant Barclay loses himself in another holodeck obsession, Counselor Troi is on hand to help him work through his fantasy of saving Voyager. But by the time Admiral Paris is ready to hear Reg out, he’s already gone rouge to connect Starfleet Command with Voyager. Exactly how old is Neelix the cat? Who is the most fascinating character in this story? Did Barclay miss his calling? It’s the...

When Seven starts watching too much cable news at night, her brains get overloaded and she Jakes the Delta Flyer. But when her conspiracy theories shake the trust between Janeway and Chakotay, coming together to compare notes puts everyone back on course. Which is the most dangerous room in any house? Why does Tash get a medical exam in engineering? What’s the best vehicle for poison? It’s the epi...