Pattern Breakers Collective

Send us Fan Mail Inspired by a question from Trevor Noah's Netflix special, this episode asks the one question that matters most right now: Who will you be when history calls?   Lisa of the Pattern Breakers Collective takes the show outside its usual territory,  beyond individual relationships and into the cultural moment we are all living through. Because the patterns that show up in abusive...

Send us Fan Mail "Gaslighting" was Merriam-Webster's word of the year in 2022, after searches for the term increased 1,740 percent. But as it became a buzzword, applied to everything from political disagreements to arguments between coworkers, something important got lost. The word stopped describing the specific, sustained, psychologically devastating thing that actually happens wh...

Send us Fan Mail Why does one woman describe love bombing and public humiliation, another describes being needed to death, another describes genuine fear,  and they're all wondering if they experienced the same kind of abuse? They did. The presentation just looks different.   In this episode, Lisa of the Pattern Breakers Collective breaks down six distinct narcissistic presentations: grandios...

Send us Fan Mail This episode contains discussion of sexual coercion, reproductive coercion, and intimate partner abuse. Please take care of yourself as you listen. There are experiences that don’t always get named. They don’t always look like what we’ve been taught to recognize as sexual violence.  They don’t always happen with force.  And they often exist inside relationships that, from the outs...

Send us Fan Mail There’s a phase in this process that almost no one talks about. The part where you’re no longer in denial… but you’re not fully out either. Where you can see the patterns clearly. You recognize the cycle. You know something isn’t right. And yet… you’re still there. In this episode, we talk about that space - the in-between. Not as a place of weakness… but as a place of quiet stren...

Send us Fan Mail If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “If I know this relationship isn’t healthy… why is it so hard to leave?” , you are not alone. In this episode, we explore one of the most confusing and painful dynamics survivors experience: trauma bonds. Many people assume that once someone recognizes abuse or unhealthy patterns, leaving should be straightforward. But the reality is much more...

Send us Fan Mail Many people believe abuse is obvious. Bruises. Police reports. Something unmistakable. But most abusive relationships don’t start that way. In this first episode of Pattern Breakers Collective , we explore one of the most common thoughts survivors have: “If it were really abuse, I’d know.” Drawing from years of working alongside survivors and my own lived experience, we unpack why...