Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials remember a world without social media and cell phones but for Gen Z, technology has always been a ubiquitous part of their existence. So, I was curious as to how Gen Z would respond to our series on technology and relationships. Do they have any similar frustrations? What do they make of the modern dating landscape as it relates to technology? How are their friend...

When did you last spend time with someone without a phone in your hand or on the table? It’s probably been a while . . . And while phones absolutely enhance our lives and provide the ability to connect with people across the globe, they can also detract from our IRL relationships. In today’s episode, Elliott and I continue our conversation on phones and relationships by considering the following q...

When you’re with your friends, how long can you make it before one of you pulls out your phone? You’re just responding to texts, of course, or, maybe checking the likes from your last post. Most of us do it all day every day. But research shows jumping onto social media when you’re with friends IRL may have a detrimental impact on your connection. There’s even a newish term for this,“technopherenc...

“It’s like there are four people in your relationship—you, your partner, and your two phones.” – Elliott Anderson, M.A. Is your phone impacting your ability to cultivate deep, authentic intimacy? Probably so! Thanks to the phones in our pockets, we’re able to distract ourselves 24/7—from boredom, loneliness, or any uncomfortable emotion. But what about when our relationship with our phone trumps o...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! At least, that’s the fantasy . . . We imagine warm, loving family gatherings—breaking bread, sharing hopes and dreams. Grandparents regaling us with tales of Christmas past. Toddlers and teens giving us a glimpse into Christmas future. But all too often the warm, loving gathering is neither—it’s cold and combative. Breaking bread breaks hearts as we war ov...

Is your relationship plagued by constant frustrations and arguments? If so, it’s possible power struggles are at the root of your disagreements. In today’s episode, psychotherapist and pastor, Elliott Anderson, M.A., and I continue our conversation on conflict styles by examining power struggles. If you haven’t had the chance to listen to parts 1 and 2 of this discussion, please jump back to episo...

If you have siblings, you likely fought with them about anything and everything! They were your first sparring partners. And, through them—and interactions with parents and friends, too—you developed your conflict style. (For more on conflict styles, check out part 1 of this series, ep. 220 of Love & Life .) Elliott and I continue our discussion on conflict negotiations in romantic partnership...

Conflict is inherent to every relationship. And though many of us regard conflict as problematic and prefer to avoid it, we don’t actually have to perceive it as negative. In fact, when we negotiate conflict, we deepen intimacy and authentic connection. That being said, it’s MUCH easier to negotiate conflict if we have a solid understanding of how we tend to respond when dealing with it. Join Elli...

Do you feel judged for your financial choices?  If you’re single, you’ve likely experienced single shaming.  And, you probably have also experienced shaming around your financial situation. Single shaming and finances are a thing.  Emily Burnett should know.  In her twenties, she was $50,000 in debt.  She felt the shame.  Then, she pulled herself out of debt and she n...

We wrapped up our recent Love & Life Live by answering questions from both our Instagram viewers and in-person audience. Elliott and I shared our thoughts on the following questions: What is an appropriate pacing for a relationship? Butterflies—are we looking for them? Or, is it better to go for that calm feeling? How can I know his or her intentions? How do I know if my attraction is healthy...

In this second part of our recent Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I continue our conversation on how to cultivate deep, authentic, emotionally healthy intimacy. Specifically, we tackle the following: 10 Warning Signs in Relationships. 10 Environmental Contexts and Concerns. 10 Family of Origin Dynamics to Observe and Discuss. 4 Non-negotiable Dealbreakers! Yes, love is a...

It’s time for another Love & Life Live! Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson invited me to join him at Judson University last week in his Interpersonal Relationships class. In part 1 of the live, we delve into: The characteristics of authentic intimate relationships. The characteristics of intimate conversations. Healthy, appropriate pacing in friendship development. The characteristics of long-te...

Kara and I are back with an Instagram Live to talk about how to date empowered! In today’s live we cover these realities and MORE! Why you shouldn’t ask a man, “What are we? Where is this going?” Why the men you don’t like seem to always pursue you! The difference between red flags and deal breakers. Why emotional maturity is the goal—we bring it to the table when we’re dating and we have every ri...

If you’ve ever wondered if you have “daddy issues” or been curious as to how your relationship with your father influences the men you choose and the dynamics you experience in relationships, this episode is for you!  Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into how father wounds show up in our romantic relationships—and most importantly, how we can heal these wounds so as to...

Elliott is back to answer your questions about cultivating healthy, happy relationships! We address the following questions you posed on Instagram: 1.     Which is more important—personality or looks? 2.     You two make me happy. What are your signs? 3.     Are you twins? 4.     I just started a new relationship. What are some of the things we can do to kno...

Unpopular opinion:  Relationships shouldn’t be all that hard. It’s an unpopular opinion because the rhetoric around relationships is that they’re so incredibly difficult; you just gotta dig in and not give up. And yes, once we’ve committed—when we’re married, and we’ve taken vows, and there might be children involved, of course I believe in persevering and sticking with it. As we move through...

We’ve all heard, “You are what you eat.” But what about, “You FEEL what you eat”? Put another way, how much of Americans’ struggle with depression and anxiety is due to our diet? To tackle this question, I’ve invited Functional Medicine Health Coach Amanda Jones to the program. In our conversation, Amanda and I take issue with the Standard American Diet and Western Medicine’s conventional approach...

If you’ve been on the dating scene for a while, you’re probably weary of online and app dating. I hear the same thing when I interact with singles in my community. I get it. I wasn’t a fan myself. It was incredibly time intensive and I didn’t like the feelings that came up for me. For this reason, I devoted an entire chapter of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, to...

As a scientist, physician, and attorney with over 50 years researching and publishing in top tier academic journals and presenting at conferences and conventions, Dr. Richard Fleming is uniquely positioned to critically examine the last 2 ½ years. In our conversation Dr. Richard Fleming addresses the following: The misinformation from both “sides.” Is asymptomatic transmission a thing? Vaccine eff...

I wanted to wrap up our celebration of National Unmarried & Single Americans week with a fan favorite and my favorite guest, of course, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson. When I was considering what I wanted Elliott to share, I thought about all the couples he’s worked with over the years. He’s seen it all—from those who just needed some tools to get through a rough patch, to couples who could...

Have you ever wondered if fear is keeping you from love? Are you afraid of getting hurt? Afraid of being smothered? Afraid of both? Today’s episode is part 2 of my conversation with Katherine Baldwin, author of, How to Fall in Love:  A 10 Step Journey to the Heart . If you haven’t listened to part 1, please jump back to episode 205 to hear Katherine share how her anxious/avoidant attachment s...

What if being single isn’t about “waiting for The One” but rather, it’s about loving the life right in front of us? Can we be alone, but not lonely? How do we make peace with our single season? In her book, Single Shouldn’t Suck, Esther Marie asserts we CAN live life to the fullest—even when we’re single and desiring partnership. Esther joins us to celebrate National Unmarried & Single America...

We’ve often spoken to Attachment Styles on the podcast, but in today’s episode we’ll hear a firsthand account from British author and coach, Katherine Baldwin. Katherine married in midlife and as she’s reflected on her dating history, she recognizes her attachment style—a mix of avoidant and anxious—caused her to repeatedly sabotage relationships and walk away from them. But most importantly, in t...

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week, and to kick things off, we’re bringing back Love & Life fan favorite, Dr. Duana Welch, to talk about the revised version of her classic book, Love Factually:  10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do . From the very first time I read Love Factually , it became my go-to “how to date smarter, not harder” resource, because every recommendation Dr...

Breakups are hardest when the relationship is almost right. I should know—I almost married the “wrong man” (for me) because there was absolutely nothing “wrong” with him.  He was almost right.  But, is “good enough” good enough for marriage? For me, it wasn’t.  I told my runaway bride story with Ané Auret and because I’d never shared the whole story with you, I wanted to post it on...