LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS

In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Gretchen Costanzo, a certified integrative attachment coach and creator of the Living Connected Method, to talk about what it means to create a secure relationship with God — and how transformational that can be for your healing and relationships. We explore how God can become your steady rock, the connection between faith and secure attachment, and what...

Not all anxious attachers look the same. In this episode, I explore the Passive Anxious Attacher , who protects against loss by shrinking back, and the Rigid Anxious Attacher , who holds on tightly to feel secure. You’ll learn how to tell the difference, why both stem from the same fear of abandonment, and how to begin moving toward secure connection. 💛 Learn more about my Attachment Coaching Ser...

Not all avoidants look the same. In this episode, I break down the two common ways avoidant attachment shows up in relationships: the Passive Avoidant , who protects themselves by shrinking back, and the Rigid Avoidant , who protects themselves through control and high standards. You’ll learn how to spot the difference, why it matters, and how each can begin moving toward more secure and fulfillin...

In this episode of Let’s Talk Attachments , we dive into what compatibility in relationships really means—and why it matters so much more than chemistry alone. I’ll break down how to recognize true alignment in core values, lifestyle choices, emotional needs, and long-term goals, and share practical ways anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure attachers can assess compatibility in their da...

Diving deep too quickly in dating can feel exciting, but it often creates premature emotional bonds that blur your judgment of compatibility. In this episode, I explore why anxious and fearful avoidant attachers are especially prone to oversharing, rushing intimacy, and confusing emotional closeness with true alignment. You’ll learn practical ways to pace yourself—so you can stay authentic while a...

In this episode, I open up about how I subconsciously molded myself to attract avoidant partners and how that pattern was rooted in my earliest experiences of love. I share how I learned to appear “cool,” independent, and unattached in order to feel wanted, and why that left me feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in relationships. If you’ve ever found yourself downplaying your needs, pretending t...

Why is it that ambitious, successful women can thrive in their careers but feel lost in love? In this episode, Attachment Therapist and Coach Carly Ann joins me to explore the emotional disconnect that many high-achieving women experience in relationships. We dive into: How codependency is hardwired into our understanding of love The difference between caring for a partner vs. trying to fix or sav...

This week on the podcast, we’re talking about the growing pains of becoming securely attached .⁣ It’s not just sunshine and inner peace—real healing requires honesty, self-responsibility, and often, some very uncomfortable shifts. Whether it’s walking away from misaligned connections, holding firmer boundaries, or realizing that peace is better than intensity… becoming secure means learning to tru...

We often talk about the emotional distance of avoidant attachers—but what if that “selfishness” is actually a protective coping mechanism? In this episode, I unpack how avoidant attachment can stem from emotional neglect and how hyper-independence becomes a substitute for unmet emotional needs. I share a personal story, common patterns I see in clients, and why adjusting expectations (on both side...

What if some of your anxious attachment behaviors are actually rooted in…selfishness? Not because you don’t care—but because fear can make everything feel urgent and all about you . In this episode, I share my own hard truths, the rigid expectations I used to set, and how healing started when I finally saw the bigger picture. This one’s for anyone ready to trade “me-focused” survival patterns for...

Today on the podcast, we’re joined by Lexi Stout —a former coaching client who opens up about her journey of recognizing how her avoidant attachment style was impacting her dating life, and what she’s been doing to break old patterns and move toward healthy relationships. We dive into: How her avoidant attachment kept her stuck in unfulfilling situationships Learning to open her heart and receive...

Ever taken an attachment quiz and thought, “Yup, I’m anxious”… only to find yourself totally avoidant once real intimacy kicks in? In this episode, I dive into why your feelings might say one thing, but your behaviors —especially under stress—reveal the real story. I’m sharing insights, patterns to look for, and a personal dating example that might sound all too familiar. Let’s untangle the truth...

In this episode, we explore the hidden struggles behind avoidant attachment through a candid conversation with someone who’s lived it. We discuss: 🔹 Why he resisted change in past relationships — believing emotional distance was a strength 🔹 How self-protection became self-disconnection 🔹 The breakup that made him realize his avoidant patterns were the root cause 🔹 Why avoidants do love deeply...

In this personal episode, I take you behind the scenes of a recent dating experience that stirred up both growth and grief — and revealed just how far I’ve come on my attachment healing journey. As someone who used to operate from a fearful avoidant (leaning anxious) attachment style, I now move through dating with much more self-trust, clarity, and compassion. But that doesn’t mean the old patter...

Today on the podcast, we’re joined by the lovely Meghan Gatto. Meghan went through the My Secure Self group coaching program this past summer with the goal of deepening her understanding of anxious attachment — and learning practical tools to break unhealthy relationship patterns. In this episode, we dive into: ​Breaking the cycle of anxious attachment ​Attraction to avoidant partners—and how to s...

Today, I’m excited to introduce Joe Reilly , an incredible human and former coaching client of mine, who has been actively working to break his anxious attachment patterns and step into his secure self . We dive into: The challenges of anxious attachment His pattern of dating avoidant partners and where that inclination comes from Healing through a recent breakup Learning to be okay with being alo...

If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you know I love exploring how attachment styles impact all areas of life—not just relationships with people. Through my own healing work, I’ve noticed that as I became more secure and confident within myself, that same transformation began to reflect in my relationship with everything—including money! That’s why I invited Shamina Taylor, a forme...

In this episode, I explore the difference between commitment and compatibility, sharing my personal experience navigating these challenges in a past relationship. I also discuss how to recognize the distinction, helping you better assess whether you’re in the right relationship. Learn about attachment coaching with me here.

Today on the podcast, I'm joined by dating coach Sabrina Zohar—best known for her transformative podcast, The Sabrina Zohar Show. She brings a no-nonsense, straightforward approach to relationship advice. In this episode, we discuss: Sabrina’s journey from anxious to secure attachment. The reality of managing anxiety—it doesn’t just disappear. The power of nervous system regulation for those w...

Today on the podcast we have Melina Charis. She is a writer and mentor for women moving through grief and heartbreak. She has 10+ years experience with ceremonial + somatic healing practices and 6+ years experience holding space for others, but her greatest teachers by far have been motherhood, death, grief and life itself. We cover: Grieving breakups, death, identity shifts, and more. How unproce...

If you've been following my breakup journey, I wanted to share an update on my healing process now that it's been 1 year. My hope is that this gives you insight into the grief cycle, the messiness of healing, and reassurance that things do get better. Work With Me : Attachment Coaching - ⁠CLICK HERE⁠ Previous recorded break-up updates: - Recovering From Heartbreak - 8 Month Update (Through a Secur...

In today’s episode, former client and dismissive avoidant attacher Randy Hamama shares his journey of navigating insecurities in a new relationship. He discusses common avoidant struggles, such as discerning fears from authentic desires, staying present when the urge to withdraw arises, identifying what makes a partner feel safe for avoidants, and understanding when it’s worth staying with an avoi...

Today on the podcast, Vanessa Scaringi, PhD, CEDS-C, a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, and Kathryn Garland, LCSW-S, CEDS-C, a clinical social worker and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, discuss: How attachment styles influence our relationship with our body and eating habits How different attachment styles may experience eating disorders T...

In today's episode, the wonderful Hannah Flynn, a former client of mine, shares her journey of navigating her avoidant attachment style, overcoming deception and heartbreak, and ultimately finding healthy, secure love. We discuss: The challenges of communication with an avoidant attachment style. The importance of addressing conflict rather than avoiding it to maintain peace. The pain of being dec...

I had a revelation recently with a big life change. I noticed similar insecure ways of thinking and feeling surface that resembled how I used to feel in unhealthy relationship dynamics. The goal with this episode is to help you reflect on how you may be "insecurely attaching" to things outside of your relationships, such as your home, belongings, items, routines, goals, dreams, by highlighting sim...