Lavender Mafia

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion about cheating: why people cheat on their partners, what “counts” as cheating to us, and how cheating is (and isn’t) relative. We also talk about what evangelical purity culture says about cheating, “emotional affairs,” and the polyphobia and biphobia in cheating discourses. ICYMI: we have merch! Go to lavmafia.com to pre-order your very own Lavender Maf...

For the second and last of our Advent series, Jess & Jack have a discussion centered on the third and fourth weeks of Advent. We talk about joy, how joy is different from happiness, and the queer anarchist energy of John the Baptist. We also talk about the different ways that both conservative and progressive Christians are wrong about what love is. Our website lavmafia.com is live! Go there f...

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion centered on hope and peace, the two themes of the first two weeks of Advent, the time in which some Christian traditions prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus. We talk about what hope and peace are, what we hope for (and against), and seeking inner peace vis-à-vis seeking the peace of the community or the world. Our website lavmafia.com is live! Go the...

This week, Jess & Jack have a conversation about the recent Trans Day of Remembrance. Jack talks about a TDoR service he and his fiancé helped lead at their Episcopal church. They also respond to a listener question about how churches can love trans people better. Jess talks about helping her older mainline congregation figure out pronouns—human and divine, and Jack shares a favorite poem from...

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener who wants to know how churches could ever make it up to LGBTQ people for the history of oppression they’ve caused us. We talk about oppressors who seek “forgiveness” without ceasing to oppress, what makes a good LGBTQ ally, and getting that sweet, sweet queer reparations money. We also go off, sis, on churches’ exploitation of unpaid (especially quee...

On this “After Dark” episode, Jess & Jack have a conversation about body hair: our own (wo)manscaping regimens, hair we wish we had (or didn’t), and our body hair preferences for our partners. We also talk about the idea that hairy is “natural,” and, therefore, good, and what that has to do with disabled and trans bodies and experiences. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebook c...

This week Jess & Jack share the story of a straight(!) listener who is drawn to Lavender Mafia *because* it’s created by and geared toward the LGBTQ community, because it helps her learn more about a community she’s not a part of. She talks about gardening while listening and feeling like she’s part of the conversation, being the same person on the inside and the outside, and her appreciation...

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about the afterlife: where it is, who goes there, and what it might be like to be a ghost. We also talk about our own experiences with the spirit realm, what the Bible and Christian tradition say about the afterlife—including that one ghost story in the Bible—and what we’ll do if we end up as ghosts. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebo...

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener who wants to know how Christian spaces can be more accessible to disabled and neurodiverse people. We talk about the physical obstacles to inclusion many disabled people experience in churches—since churches are exempt from ADA requirements—and compare those churches to Jesus’ own ministry. We also talk about our own experiences being neurodiverse co...

This week Jess & Jack have a discussion about sex work: Can it be ethical? Should it be legalized? What are our own experiences with sex work and sex workers? How can we support and protect the sex workers who are oppressed and marginalized? We also talk about the recent OnlyFans controversy and what we would do on our own OnlyFans profiles. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebo...

This week Jess & Jack respond to a listener who wants to know why queer people would stay involved with a religion (Christianity) in which most people are anti-LGBTQ. We talk about what has led each of us to stay involved in churches, what has made us want to leave, and when to stay and work for change vs. when to leave. If you have a question you’d like us to tackle or a story you’d like to s...

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about hell: what we were taught about it, what’s wrong with what we were taught about it, and what we believe now. We talk about how the concept of hell is weaponized against queer people, as well as what our own personalized hell (à la Dante’s Inferno) would look like. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebook community page, and Patreon,...

This week Jess & Jack respond to questions about the gender binary from a tweet one of our listeners tagged us in: “What led you to realize the gender binary was not for you? In what ways did the binary feel wrong?” If you have a question you’d like us to tackle or a story you’d like to share, email us at thelavendermafia@gmail.com or hit us up on social media! Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our...

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about sex toys: our firsts, our faves, and what we used as toys that aren’t or shouldn’t be toys. We also talk about how sex toys can be useful when one or more partners is disabled, we address the objection that using toys creates distance between the partners, and Jack makes an unusual connection between sex toys and the Eucharist. Visit linktr.ee/la...

This week Jess & Jack share the story of a listener who was homeschooled and Southern Baptist, tried to pray the gay away, was interviewed for a book, came out, was rejected by family and church, got gay married, became addicted to meth, went to prison, got sober, got out, and opened a bakery. As one does. If you have a story you’d like to share, email us at thelavendermafia@gmail.com or hit u...

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about death. We talk about how we want to go (and don’t want to go) and what we want our funerals to look like. We also talk about our own brushes with death, loved ones we’ve lost, and how queerness means contemplating our own mortality and choosing joy over fear. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebook community page, and Patreon, to h...

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about gay bars: our first times, our best times, and what they mean to us as LGBTQ people. We also talk about tips for getting the most out of your gay bar experience and how to find (or avoid) bars and other gay spaces where kinky public sex is on the menu. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebook community page, and Patreon, to help Lav...

This week Jess & Jack share the story of a queer trans listener who is rethinking their aversion to Christianity because of encountering LGBTQ Christians who show them a Christianity very different from that practiced by callous and judgmental people they have known. In getting to know Christians who embrace love and justice because of, rather than in spite of, their religion, this listener is...

This week Jess & Jack talk about the crucifixion of Jesus. We talk about our experiences in evangelical Good Friday services, how churches talked about what happened on the cross, and how queerness gives us new perspectives on the crucifixion and its meaning. Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, Facebook community page, and Patreon, to help Lavender Mafia keep going and for rewards fo...

This week Jess & Jack share the story of a trans listener who grew up as a conservative Catholic and whose preparation to become a monk led them to accepting their own queerness. If you have a story of gender, sexuality, and/or faith you’d like to share, email us at thelavendermafia@gmail.com or hit us up on social media! Visit linktr.ee/lavmafia for our IG, Twitter, and Facebook community pag...

This week Jess & Jack tackle a listener-suggested topic: How are queer and straight dating different? We talk about having fewer gendered expectations, queer (and Christian!) baggage, and dating in a society set up for straight relationships and against queer ones. We also talk about the beauty in diverse kinds of queer relationships, how we both hate to pick up the check, and how queer people...

This week Jess & Jack have a conversation about Pride: how/why Pride parades started and what they’ve been like in our experiences. We talk about Pride as protest, celebration, and witness. Pride celebrates how far we’ve come, honors those (e.g. Marsha P. Johnson) who got us here, highlights how far we still have to go (e.g., re: trans youth rights), and testifies to the goodness and holiness...

This week, Jess & Jack have a conversation about dating and hookup apps. We talk about our own experiences—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and how experiences on the apps differ when you’re a woman, trans/non-binary, or disabled. We also talk about how to get some and stay safe while doing it, and how the apps can help you find the love of your life…or of the next twenty minutes. Follow us on...

In this week’s episode, Jess & Jack talk about Mary, the mother of Jesus and how the Gospels portray her as a devout Jewish girl, a (mostly) supportive mother, and a Palestinian revolutionary. We also talk about Mary’s complicated relationship to Jesus and his ministry as she discovers more about him, and how this is mirrored in queer people’s relationships with our parents. Follow us on Insta...

This Memorial Day weekend, Jack and his fiancé August are traveling to meet Jack’s very conservative family(!), so Lavender Mafia is taking it easy with our first mini-sode! Jess shares a story from a listener from her tiny high school graduating class who is learning that queer liberation can liberate the straights, too. Jack shares a question from a listener wondering how to navigate relationshi...