It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

Have you ever wanted to just SMASH things? Leanne Pedante and her husband Miles’ relationship was built on bravery and communication - they worked so hard to reach the next step together, excited to explore the edges of possibility in love and in life. On his way back to see Leanne after several months away, Miles’ car veered off the road, and he was killed. In the just under three years since, Le...

The holidays are over - you made it. By the looks of our inbox, the season wasn’t easy. This week, a holiday debrief, including bad behavior from therapists, why religion is not the answer to grief, and some true facts about dating after loss.    In this episode we cover:   How to say “I can’t work with you” without accidentally shaming your patients or clients Why “but your (dead relative) is all...

Is acceptance overrated? What happens when you have to face a new year without your person in it (or without the health you used to have!)?  In this special two-part episode, we face the new year together - with special guest, historian, author, and queen of awkward conversations, Kate Bowler.    In part 2 of this episode we cover    How do you have hope for the year to come when right now maybe i...

Is acceptance overrated? What happens when you have to face a new year without your person in it (or without the health you used to have!)?  In this special two-part episode, we face the new year together - with special guest, historian, author, and queen of awkward conversations, Kate Bowler.    In this episode we cover:    How do you have hope for the year to come when right now maybe isn’t so g...

My dad used to read ‘‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” every Christmas Eve when I was a kid, after dinner and before we opened our Christmas pjs.    So many of you are missing your dads, or grandparents, or the father of your kids. This year, I asked my dad to record the Christmas Eve classic for the show. I wanted you to have a stand-in grandpa, in case you were missing one of your own.    From m...

The holiday season is sometimes joyful, sometimes stressful - and to be honest, it’s usually a mix of both. Between external pressures and family dynamics, we figure everyone can use some tips on making it through the season.    In this episode we cover:   How to bring up your loved one’s absence when no one else will Making a good enough holiday for your family when you’re not in the holiday spir...

What if there’s nothing to fix? What if you could just, you know, be yourself - whatever that looks like today?  When I told people that this week’s guest was none other than adrienne maree brown - the excitement level was off the charts. adrienne maree brown is the author of Emergent Strategy and Pleasure Activism , among other works, and she’s instrumental in opening conversations about bodies,...

Look, there are some things in life - a LOT of things in life - that just can’t be fixed or made better, you have to figure out how you’re going to live with them.   Sarah Ramey spent DECADES trying to find answers for why her body was falling apart. Her book, The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness , describes the complex, convoluted path through conventional and alternative medicines, her...

Our early childhood experiences of grief - and how our family systems dealt with loss - have a huge impact on our adult behaviors and relationships.    This week, author Allyson Dinneen ( @notesfromyourtherapist ) joins me to discuss generational grief stories, and your number one most asked question: how does a grieving therapist (or another healthcare provider) go back to work?    We're re-relea...

Recently The Washington Post released graphic images, videos, and audio recordings from mass shootings, in a report called “Terror on Repeat.” Should news outlets attempt to push awareness through the use of graphic imagery? If so, do survivor families have the right to refuse to let photos of their friends or family members be released?    The answer, of course, is complicated. Complexity and nua...

What if you were just about to get divorced, but your partner gets sick? Like really sick? Rebecca Woolf was just about to leave an unhappy marriage when her husband got sick and died. What followed was a crash course in performative grief, and the dismantling of one life in order to build the next.    This week on It’s OK, we cover love, sex, marriage, divorce, grief, shame, assumptions (both int...

Everybody knows the stages of grief. Even if you didn’t go to grad school, I bet you can rattle them off. Thing is - those stages don’t help anyone: not the pros trying to support patients or clients, not the person trying to survive an impossible situation.    Tune in for the inside scoop on the stages of grief and what we should be doing instead, with a special shout-out to the tv shows getting...

How do we live in a world that’s at least half terrible, and that is a conservative estimate? If you recognize that line, you already know Maggie Smith. This week on the show, we’re talking about writing, marriage, divorce, and why you didn’t need whatever happened to you in order to become who you’re meant to be: as Maggie says, “trauma does not give you a “glow up.””    If you’ve ever wanted to...

“Wonder is the root of love, the lack of wonder is the root of violence.” Valarie Kaur is no stranger to violence. As a Sikh, as a woman, as a person of color, violence has shaped both her activism and her deep sense of community care. Her Revolutionary Love Project is the blueprint for organizers, activists, and really - anyone in love with the world and what it could be.    This week, the activi...

Being fabulous can save your life.   The Old Gays are a social media sensation: flamboyant outfits, lip synched dance parties, and risque theatrics you might not expect of men in their 70s and 80s.    A lot of their media attention focuses on the joy they bring to all of us. But in their new book, The Old Gays’ Guide to the Good Life, they share a deeper story. This week on It’s OK, Bill, Bob, Mic...

The scene is 1990’s New York City. Young David Ambroz and his two siblings are homeless, sleeping in bus shelters and bathing in public restrooms, under the care of his mentally ill mother. The child he was is still evident in the person he grew up to be: a nationally recognized expert on child welfare, and a staunch supporter of the foster care system. This week on It’s OK that You’re Not OK, we...

Lots of smart, high achieving people learned to greet pain with stoicism: by being mature and responsible, even as kids.    But what happens when you can’t maintain the facade of having your sh*t entirely together? Do you ever get to be less than Super Human?    In this episode we cover:    Perfectionism as a coping mechanism for all kinds of emotional wounds Is distraction bad for you?  When the...

Dementia means losing your person over and over again.    Margo Timmins and her siblings watched their father lose pieces of himself for years. They processed all that loss the way they always have: through music. The Cowboy Junkies vocalist joins us this week to talk about love, memory, and the ferocious beauty of turning towards what hurts.    *not sure who the Cowboy Junkies are? Google “cowboy...

We fight hard for the things we believe in. But HOW we fight for those things causes more damage than we realize.    Jameela Jamil is a lightning rod for criticism, but it’s not just how people treat her that she’s concerned about.   “The most punk thing I can do is move towards love and unity.” - Jameela Jamil   In this episode we cover:    Our odd habit of dehumanizing each other in the name of...

Did anyone teach you that understanding your grief is the key to being (or becoming) a healthy human being? Probably not.    In this expansive episode, Megan speaks with world-renowned author and physician Gabor Maté about the role of trauma and grief in our personal lives and in society at large. Dr. Gabor Maté on grief, this week on It’s OK that You’re Not OK, the podcast.   In this episode we c...

How do you turn the worst thing that’s ever happened to you into a comedy show?    Comedian Michael Cruz Kayne went viral for a tweet he posted on the 10th anniversary of his newborn son’s death. What followed was an outpouring of support, but also: of storytelling, with thousands of people sharing their own experiences of loss.    His one man show, Sorry for Your Loss , and his podcast, A Good Cr...

Should you stop being “good”?    According to the 7 deadly sins, a “good person” needs no rest, has no appetite, has no desires, puts themselves last, and is never upset.    NYT best-selling author Elise Loehnen says we spend most of our energy denying the needs and instincts that make us human - like our needs for love, connection, success, and rest.    It’s hard to be “ok” when you’ve spent a li...

Tembi Locke lived an amazing love story: she met a handsome chef during a study abroad year in Italy when she was just 20 years old. They moved to LA to pursue Tembi’s acting career, and built a life around their love of food, family, and each other. And then leiomyosarcoma arrived.    Is it still a Hollywood love story if it doesn’t have a happy ending? Check out the best selling Writing Your Gri...

Sam Sanders is a well known and well loved radio and podcast host. He went a little extra-viral for a recent episode of his show, Vibe Check , in which he and his co-hosts openly discussed grief. This week on It’s OK, Sam joins us to talk about being open with his grief, and the ongoing relationships we have even after death.  In this episode we cover:  What happens if you give grief a voice?  The...

When life feels hard, does “peak performance” mean anything?    Steven Kotler is known as the NYT best selling author of books like Stealing Fire and The Rise of Superman , but can the science of stretching limits apply to grief of any kind? If you look beyond the slick language of bio-hacking and extreme sports typically found in discussions on peak performance, it turns out there’s something her...