How to Survive

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 247...and we're gonna get killed by Murder Barbie.  Freaky (2021) tells the story of Millie, a high school student who swaps bodies with a middle-aged male serial killer known as The Blissfield Butcher. Millie has until midnight on Friday the 13th to swap their bodies back - and to prevent  The Butcher from ru...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 246...and evil dies tonight. Halloween Kills (2021), starring Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, is (depending on your outlook) either the 12th or 3rd film in the beloved Halloween franchise, and a direct sequel to Halloween (2018), starring Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, which itself was a direct sequel t...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 245...and there's good man inside of you fighting to come out. The Mummy (2017) tells the story of Nick Morton, a tomb-raiding soldier serving in Iraq. Morton accidentally becomes cursed with ancient Egyptian magic, embroiled in a shady organisation's fight against evil, and must do what it takes to prevent th...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 244...and I only gamble with my life, never my money. The Mummy (1999) tells the story of the treasure-hunting trio of Rick, Evelyn and Jonathan, who head to the Ancient Egyptian city of Hamunatpra in the hope of unearthing riches. Instead, they awaken the cursed tomb of Imhotep, who rises from the dead and br...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 243...and do you have to open graves to find girls to fall in love with? The Mummy (1932) tells the story of Imhotep, an ancient Egyptian high priest condemned to eternal undeath for religious sacrilege, resurrected by intrepid archaeologists. Once alive, Imhotep seeks out the object of his everlasting love An...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 242...and it could be another Jigsaw copycat. Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) tells the story of Ezekial 'Zeke' Banks, a hard-boiled detective in an unnamed city, hunting down a mysterious serial killer of corrupt Police officers in a manner not unlike everyone's favourite DIY enthusiast John Kramer, aka T...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 241... so get over here! Mortal Kombat (2021) tells the story of 'Cole Young', a failed MMA fighter who has a strange birthmark. The birthmark automatically means he is a champion of earth, and must defend Earth Realm in the last of ten consecutive martial arts tournaments against 'Outworld' - but not if the O...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 240...and there's nothing left. A Quiet Place Part II (2021) continues the story started in John Krasinski's A Quiet Place, as Evelyn and her children struggle for survival in a world where a single errant noise could mean a violent death. The family meet Emmett, a fellow survivor, but he isn't convinced that...

It's episode 239...and would you look at that?   G reenland (2020) tells the story of John Garrity, who gathers with his estranged wife and son to watch as the Clarke comet flies past Earth. Turns out the boffins back at NASA got their calculations a bit wrong and it doesn't so much fly past Earth as smash straight into it. Can the Garritys make it to emergency shelter in the titular Greenland bef...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 238...and these are dangerous times. Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) tells the story of...well you can probably guess. There's about 40 minutes of story and 40 minutes of fighting and somehow the film is still 2 hours long. Make of that what you will. It's time for titans, punch-ups on battleships, Hollow Earth (theo...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 236...and I can't shake the feeling that you must have saved me for something greater than this. Saint Maud (2020) follows Maud, a palliative nurse and evangelical Roman Catholic who believes its her Godly duty to save the soul of her athiest patient Amanda. However, as her behaviour begins to spiral out of co...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 235 (despite what we might say in the intro)...and he calls out to the ones who need him -- the damaged ones. Brahms: The Boy II (2020), unfortunately, continues and expands upon the wondeful story of Brahms, the doll first seen in The Boy (2016). Following a traumatic event, a family moves to the grounds of t...

*Apologies for the delay to this episode. We really did intend to kick off 2021 with a more rigorous schedule but unfortunately, as has been the case for many this last year, some less-than-ideal life events got in the way. Furthermore, neither of us were in the best circumstances when we recorded this, which may well be reflected in energy levels (or lack thereof) in the podcast. We'll be back an...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's Christmas!...and you want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. It's a Wonderful Life (1946) is perhaps the definitive uplifting Christmas film, and so what better way to sign off a universally terrible year than by listening to two smug pricks picking it to pieces? Downtrodde...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 233...and don't take it personally. They're just trying to figure out if you're a gold-digging whore. Ready or Not (2019) tells the story of newly-married Grace, who wants to make a good impression on her new husband Daniel's relatives - the mysterious Le Domas family, owners of the Le Domas boardgaming Monopo...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 232...and should pale death, with treble dread, make the ocean caves our bed, God who hears the surges roll, deign to save the suppliant soul. The Lighthouse (2019) tells the absolutely fine and normal story of Thomas's Wake and Howard, two wickies with the task of operating a remote lighthouse for a month off...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's time for a bonus episode...and I'm Mrs. Voorhees, an old friend of the Christys'! We turned 5 years old back in August and marked it by...doing absolutely nothing! So here we are, 3 months later, revisiting the film that started it all - Friday the 13th (1980). If you didn't know,  Friday the 13th tells the story of C...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod   It's episode 231...and " There are no approved quotes yet for this movie" - Rotten Tomatoes   Host (2020) tells the story of a group of friends who hold a seance over Zoom during the 2020 COVID-19 lockdown. Before long (no really, the movie is only an hour long), a bad spirit is summoned and some video-conferencing-based...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod   It's episode 230...and there is a dead man at the end of this line.   Heat (1995) tells the doomed story of star-crossed lovers Neil McCauley and Detective Vincent Hanna, two kindred spirits torn asunder by their respective loves of doing crimes and stopping people what do crimes. Set on the seedy, steamy streets of 90s...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod   It's episode 229...and What did he say? Badda-beep, badda-bap, badda-boop, badda-beep.   It's The Godfather (1972).  Michael Corleone is back from the war, and looking for love - but when his father is injured in a work-related incident, it falls to Michael to step in and whip the family business into shape.    We set as...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod   It's episode 228...and seeing is not believing, it's the other way round.    It's time for The Orphanage   (2007). Laura has bought the orphanage she grew up in, and has high hopes for its re-establishment. But before long her son, Simon, goes missing, and Laura is haunted by... ghosts, grief, guilt? You'll have to see i...

A quick note from us: we didn't anticipate only recording one podcast in August but unfortunately that's how the cards fell! We hope you can forgive us, and we promise it won't be another month before you hear from us again!   How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod   It's episode 227...and you don't want to wake up, do you? In Under the Skin (2013) Scarlett Joh...

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 226...and this time travel crap, just fries your brain like a egg.. Looper (2012) tells the story of Joe, a 'Looper'. Loopers are assassins who kill people sent from the future, where time travel exists but is controlled by criminal gangs. There are also psychic people. Fun and games ensue when Joe is ordered to k...

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 225...and I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it. Back to the Future  (1985) tells the story of Marty McFly, a precocious teen with deadbeat parents and a good friend in Doc Brown, a local inventor and all-round eccentric. When Marty helps Doc test his newly-constructed time ma...

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 224... and change doesn't happen spontaneously. The Platform (2019)  (or  El Hoyo (2019) depending on whether you are in spain or not), tells the story of Gorreng, a man who wakes up in a vertical prison of several hundred floors. Each day, a platform lowers food from the top floor downwards, with prisoners relyin...