Healing the Unresolved

Anger is a difficult emotion to admit. This is especially true of anger that is rooted in deep, past experiences. To admit anger is to admit we are vulnerable and that we were hurt. There are social stigmas associated with anger. However, hidden anger reaches out into the present and often manifests itself in a sour, negative mood and in constant complaining. We can also try to mask anger as right...

Today’s podcast answers questions pertaining to the pain of having been in a relationship where there was trauma bonding. Such a relationship can be so confusing, because with the painful abuse there were times of seemingly positive behavior. Also, when the person with whom we were trauma bonded passes away, it can lead to complicated grief. Navigating the confusion of trauma bonding is the focal...

Today's episode focuses on how late in the healing work we can feel like we have regressed if we begin to struggle again or have emotional discomfort. Often, it is normal life stress from the present. Sometimes also, it is because we are not allowing ourselves to have normal negative emotions, for fear of what that would mean.

Today’s podcast is a discussion about when we run and flee from God’s callings for us. We are all called to heal, and we are all called to cooperate with time and age. In all these areas we can practice avoidance and be like the prophet Jonah, who tried to run and flee from God‘s plan. When we do this, we only hurt ourselves and suffer more in the long run. Learning to be aware of and master our i...

Today’s podcast answers the question of how can a husband and wife who both have trauma histories, stop the cycle of constantly inflicting pain on each other and triggering each other. How couples can make their worst hours their finest hours, is covered in the podcast.

Today’s podcast answers the question of what to do when we begin to feel resentful or taken advantage of in our parish. The discussion explore the possibilities of our situation being self-inflicted through enabling or us being taken advantage of. Often times it’s a combination of both, even when all involved are well intentioned. Discerning which one it is, and the solution, are discussed.

As we approach Forgiveness Sunday, many of us are mindful of forgiving the living and seeking forgiveness from the living. However, what if we need to forgive the departed or are seeking forgiveness from them? Today’s podcast explores this topic, and explains the path to healing relationships with the departed.

Today’s podcast answers the question of how do we overcome our fear of conflict? No one really likes conflict. However, for some of us, it can have a paralyzing effect. If we were exposed to excessive and unhealthy upset and anger early in life, we can lose our confidence and feel powerless in the face of conflict in the present. Learning, and then unlearning, what we came to believe about ourselv...

Today’s podcast answers the question of how can the Orthodox divine liturgy play a role in someone’s healing. Starting from the time one enters the interior space of the church, throughout the liturgy, and even in the post liturgy interactions, there are plenty healing opportunities. The podcast also discusses making sure that our participation in liturgy is healthy and healing.

When our early life was deprived of the baseline of learning what is normal with regards to normal emotions, normal upset, and normal life changes, we can go through life feeling life we are missing our inner compass that tells us whats okay and what is normal in our present life. This can lead to chronic doubt and uncertainty. We can retrain ourselves and learn what is normal in the present, so t...

Today’s podcast addresses the question submitted by someone who suffered from narcissistic abuse. As a result of the dynamics of the relationship, they were left with a profound sense of shame. Understanding this kind of abuse is the first step in healing from it. In addition, long after the toxic relationship is over, we may perpetuate the abuse through how we relate with ourselves resulting in “...

Today’s episode answers a question from an individual who is a parent and has their own healthy family, but in many ways is having to still parent their family of origin which has been dysfunctional. When this is a role that we have played for a long time, it is very confusing, and often we are saddled with guilt at making our present family our priority. Setting boundaries does not mean we are ab...

Today’s podcast answers a question from a father who is greatly worried about his adult son. His son has reached a detour in his life and has been unable to move around it. His son also lives a significant distance away, which adds to the feelings of powerlessness. While has maintained great balance in his relationship with his son, he worries about him greatly, and seeks to know what he can do wi...

Today’s podcast answers two questions. The first, pertains to how to proceed or cope when others are not able to be responsive to the deeper things we share with them. The second question pertains to the flexibility and malleability we need in setting boundaries.

Today's podcast answers the question of why do setbacks occur in the healing work and how do we navigate the discouragement caused by them. The truth is, these are not setbacks at all, but rather opportunities. They are movement forward, not backward.

During these dark and short days of December, we are fortunate to have the nativity light. The nativity light acts as an x-ray on our soul and illuminates all that is missing, broken, and fallen. It reveals to us the areas that need to be addressed. It is during this time of year that the urge to restore and reconcile is at its strongest. It is also during this time of year that the human heart is...

Everyone at one time or another experiences a sour mood or just feeling very negative. We complain a lot, and feel like nothing is right. However, sometimes this can become chronic, which can be indicative that there is something else going on. One of the sources of this, that is not often discussed, is when we live in a state of hypervigilance. When we live in a state of hypervigilance we are nev...

In today’s episode, we we do a deeper exploration of avoidance. Avoidance is very common, and is often employed in everyday life in a way that’s smart and helpful. However, when it comes to the avoidance that follows after painful experiences, we often end up avoiding too much and more than we need to. As a result, it costs us the more beautiful experiences of life, precisely the ones that can ser...

How do we do the healing work if we are bedridden and have no one around us? Today’s episode focuses on utilizing our relationship with God and ourselves. So long as those two are intact, we can never be abandoned, and having those healing experiences can still happen.

When struggling with complicated grief, many of us may feel a sense of finality when our loved one departs this world. However, using the eyes of our faith we see that the relationship continues. The departed can still be part of our healing work. The relationship can continue to be healed, even though they have departed. Using the power and heightened sensitivity of the Nativity season, we can be...

The silver linings of the healing work are many. One of the most beautiful truths, is that as we progress through the healing work, we get to keep all of the skills and gifts gained from our experience, but we leave behind all the pain and hurt. In other words, all the abilities and skills we learned as a result of our experience we don’t have to give up or turn in once we have healed. Indeed, the...

Many have given into the belief that we just have busy lives and really have no other choice. We daily experience the effects of being on our heels and not being masters of the time that God has given us. We become stressed, overwhelmed, burned out, and develop a learned helplessness. There are many different factors that lead to us yielding to defeat in the face of the pace of this world. No one...

Today’s episode focuses on answering a question by someone who is struggling through complicated grief. Specifically, grieving the passing of an abusive parent. Very often with complicated grief, we are not aware of what exactly we are grieving. So often, it is not what we think or realize.

Most of us strive to be kind and understanding of others. However, in this distressed world we might not realize how much can be at stake. Those who suffer the most often suffer invisibly. When we have an interaction in which we were not at our best with someone we know, we can circle back and apologize and make things right. However, with strangers out in public, we often do not have that opportu...

This episode addresses a question that was submitted by an individual struggling with a spouse who has been severely lacking in empathy, engages in chronic gaslighting, and has shown self-centered behaviors. Being able to tell whether such behaviors are just personality or defensive and protective in nature is difficult. We might also burden ourselves with pressure to forgive right away. This beco...