Going Terribly

Colors of the world, Doug up your life. Every boy and every girl, Doug up your life. People of the world, Doug up your life. aaaAAAHHH!!!! It's Doug's birthday episode, and Alice has prepared a raucous gauntlet of Spice Girls-themed games...for no reason at all.  Other discussion topics may include: - How not to make a game show video game - The long awaited return of KÄKwords  - Baby's...

Alice and Doug will return on Tuesday, January 19th for Doug's special birthday epic! But before that, for this second abbreviated edition of the show, they've handed the keys to the Going Terribly-mobile over to Intern Sean. Can he write a wildly comedic script that will have you doubling over in laughter as he has promised?* You'll have to listen to find out!  *I mean, probably not, right?...

Alice and Doug are taking a little bitty two-week break and will return promptly on Tuesday, January 19th with a special episode for Doug's birthday! To hold you over, here is the first of two "Minisodes" (it means "mini episode" - we promise) where our two hosts will fill everyone in on what they'll be doing over the break. 

Doug and Alice get a bit pensive for this retrospective (retrospectus?) episode by recounting the highlights and lowlights of 2020 (high: that one painting of a girl laughing at a painting of a butt; low: solipsistic fibrosis) that led to the very creation of Going Terribly -- ultimately discovering that things might not be going so terribly after all :) Alice even surprises Doug with a multiple c...

'Twas the episode before Christmas, when all through the sludge, Not a vulgarity was spared, not even a "fudge"; The mockings were flung around the leg lamp with glee, In hopes that our guest Wendy wouldn't turn tail and flee; The children jeered as they beat poop from a log, While visions of horse skulls danced in their nogs; And Douglas Fir in his walrus shirt, and I in my elf cap, Had just read...

Dearest Going Terribly devotees, The coda of this pernicious solar revolution that threatened to never meet its quietus is finally nigh. A festive holiday denouement is upon us, and with it, comes grammarian pedantry, spectral flatulence, osculation via rosaceae, feline scatology, and a superannuated missive mission with a soupçon of thespian flair.  Blessed be those who hearkened to our auri...

Like Roberto Esquivel Cabrera's American Girl Doll-sized penis, which is actually mostly foreskin, this episode of Going Terribly is mostly It Went Terribly. Let us regale you with tales of how Alice's second favorite band disappointed her and how giant penises have disappointed us all. Other discussion topics may include: - Law & Order butt plates - A breakdown of favorite time traveling movi...

On the heels of a wicked Pranksgiving hangover, Doug and Alice discuss gentler, milder topics such as feng shui, American Girl Dolls, tax-free groceries, local filmmakers, and the timeless tunes of Tom Jones.  Really? Yeah, but no, not really. Other discussion topics may include: - Pent up Bible dudes - How to summon your pet Predator - When 32 inches is too small and when it's way too much -...

Release the Piecaken! It's Thanksgiving week, and Doug and Alice have crankstaken the shenanigans up to 11. Gird your sirloins for some long and uncomfortable ASMR, as well as a biblical digression about seed-spilling. Talk about Wanksgiving, amirite? Then tune into YouTube on Wednesday for Going Terribly's PRANKSGIVING VIDEO SPECIAL in which Doug and Alice take the best parts of Thanksgiving -- t...

In honor of Pranksgiving next week, Alice and Doug share their best, wholesome prank stories that may or may not involve knights, potatoes, grand larceny, douching, flaccidity, tickling, butterballs, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and fomentation of insurrection via social media. Other discussion topics may include: - Contact Death - Contact Death 2: Electric Deathaloo - Contact Death 3: Potato Storm - Co...

On November 10, 1810, George Jennings, inventor of the first flush toilet, was born. On November 10, 2020, Alice Shen, co-host of Going Terribly, will probably wreck a flush toilet after eating a tortilla chip bedeviled with Carolina Reaper pepper, Scorpion Pepper, and Sichuan Peppercorn. Why? Cuz she's an utter abomination, and it's her birthday. That's why. Visit Chez Doug to learn about other q...

It's 90s week, and the floor is nostalgia! Alice confesses that she never finished reading Watership Down in the eighth grade, and Doug reveals that he prefers *NSYNC over Backstreet Boys. They talk picture books, past presidents, animated feature films, and that awkward Millennial stage of being intimidated by both young children and adultier adults. And guess who's back! Maddie (Alice and Doug's...

It is a dark and stormy night. A gravelly voiced man sits by the fire, eating a peanut butter sandwich... But not just ANY peanut butter sandwich --- a HONEY ROASTED peanut butter sandwich... But not just ANY honey roasted peanut butter sandwich --- a SENTIENT honey roasted peanut butter sandwich...on ARTISANAL BREAD!!! And it's screaming! THE NUTS ARE SCREAMING!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Double, Double, Boil and Trouble! Doug accidentally drinks shower water during a boil advisory. Alice nearly burns her house down while boiling a pot of water to sanitize her menstrual cup. They’re clearly not ready to manage their own Home Depot. Or murder the Scottish king, usurp the throne, and get these bloodstains out by Halloween.  Other discussion topics may include:  - Men, women...

The dastardly duo contemplate getting matching tattoos after a series of unfortunate events: Doug regrets investing in artisanal beads; Alice pines after an unattainable hurdy-gurdist in Winnipeg; they welcome Josh Weiland to the poo’dcast but somehow don’t make any 3-way jokes. There’s also legit information about the Extra Life gaming fundraiser to benefit Riley Hospital for Children. How about...

Alice has an existential crisis and considers a career change into the audiobook narration industry. Doug can’t remember when he last hugged someone, and it’s slowly murdering him. They finally learn what gluten is. This week’s episode gets real, y’all. Other discussion topics may include: - An examination of very important world records, such as cucumber eating - Vegan treats and the accidental A...

On this episode of To Outsmuck a Smucker, Doug channels his best Orson Welles and reads a diary entry from The Uncrustables  -- a neo-noir adapted from a gothic novel. Alice accompanies with some questionable impressions of Crustopher Walken and Jammy Stewart. They also decide to adopt a baby cow, name her Maddie, raise her for eighteen months, then take her out for ribs. Wait. Her ribs?...

Doug expounds upon the social mores of pandemic dating and questions the role of unlimited chips and salsa in group dining situations. Alice confuses bukkake with bunraku (Japanese puppet theatre) and learns how to preheat and clean her lady-oven. And urine luck! There’s also a fan-sourced DJ contest for 11 WHOLE DOLLARS and a new segment called “It Went Terribly” where we fact-check the previous...

In their premiere episode, Doug sings the praises of an environmentally-friendly feminine hygiene product and ponders the aerodynamics and moral turpitude of passengers on a hypothetical euthanasia coaster. Alice tosses a salad and debates what size knife is best for big kids at the pool. Other discussion topics may include: - A desire to wax, poetic and otherwise - The birth of a jingle - wh...

Alice and Doug have a podcast. Here's a context-free minute of nonsense to prove they know how to speak into a microphone.