Eldercare Success

In this episode, we'll be discussing how to get rid of those crappy, crummy, pissy moods that can come with caring for an elderly parent. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated when caring for someone you love who needs your help all the time. However, sometimes the worst feelings can get the best of us.  It happens to me too.! In this episode, I share seven practical tips...

In this episode, my guest, James Hagerty, the Wall Street Journal Obituary writer , and I discuss how to capture the most interesting parts of our parents and loved ones’ life stories.  Too often, those final days come about, and we lose, forever, stories about what our parents did in their lifetimes.  How does one start, though?  What are the best questions to ask?  Where do y...

In this episode, I share how even a whiny five-year-old can help us become better advocates and caregivers for those we love.  It starts with one key question that adults often forget to ask, themselves. That simple question, asked over and over again, can be annoying to respond to. But, with patience and some extra thought, you may be able to satisfactorily answer it more often.  A...

What happens when the quality of care provided by your mom’s care facility was great, but then declined to a point where you’re worried that she’s suffering?  Do you just suck it up and hope the quality of aides and services will get better? Or do you call medical transport, wrap her up in a blanket, and move her to a place that will make every minute with her count?  In this episode, we...

Personal treasures or talismans have been used for a long time by caregivers, and those grieving, to reduce pain and stress. In this episode, I share a bit of history and some ways that you can use personal items to help you recover from loss and make better care decisions.  My own experience with such simple items as my mom and dad’s handwritten notes, a silver bangle bracelet, and even a fl...

This episode is Part Two of my discussion with attorney Dan Frith. The quality of care our aging parents receive can vary by which hospital they use. The one closest to home might not be the safest, or even appropriate for them, or you. Not all hospitals are the same, nor equal, nor even similar in the types of services they offer or specialize in. It’s important to assume that hospital...

How do you prepare your home, or a parent’s home, so it’s safe for them to return to after a hospitalization or long-term rehab stay?  They might have recovered, but the last thing you want is for another issue or accident to happen.  In this episode, we provide a list of suggestions to help you, the family or professional caregiver, better ensure continued safety and sustained quality o...

In this episode, we discuss how to learn if your doctor is the right one for your parents, or you. Sometimes we base our trust on a doctor’s “likeability,” or bedside manner.  But someone who seems good doesn’t mean they are good or even competent.  When it comes to your health, skills, competency ( a low "accidental" death rate), and experience usually trump attitude and charm. We also...

In this episode, I share some research done on the most challenging days of the week for those who care for an aging parent or spouse.  From this, I learned that there really is an official calendar day called Blue Monday .  Also, there are specific days when it seems, the effort of caregiving is that much more stressful.  It’s good to know this and be better prepared. I also dive i...

What happens when you’re both a caregiver and, at the same, disabled yourself?    In this episode my guest Daniel Hodges, JD, who is blind, was a caregiver for his parents and children while needing special care himself from the medical community.  We discuss how he was able to succeed at this, by being a non-stop advocate for himself and those around him to overcome surprising...

Caring for those we love is tough enough. When toxic people enter our lives wanting more of our time, attention, energy, and even money, offering nothing in return, they make caregiving even more difficult.  In this episode, I share some tips on identifying, assessing, and more easily separating yourself from those I refer to as time vampires, bloodsuckers, and jerks.  I also discuss how...

In this episode, I share tips on how caregivers can overcome those holiday blues when you’re alone and away from those you love.  The show mentions how to make your days brighter when you start feeling a little dark. Below are several links to those tips and solutions discussed in this episode.  They’re fun and easy to do yourself or with your parents even if they have physical challenge...

This show is in memory of J ames Degenheardt who was a gift that showed up on my dad's doorstep one New Year's Day. Finding that special, thoughtful gift for an aging parent , or loved one can be tough.  Even more so when you are short on time, or just can’t bear the thought of going shopping. In this episode, I share how I faced this same dilemma as my folks got older – after all, who really...

Imagine not being able to eat, swallow or enjoy your favorite foods.  Or feeling so tired you could fall headfirst into your soup bowl! Or, even worse, getting your tongue cut, and rebuilt due to cancer, and having to learn how to talk again! Would thinking about these things happening freak you out? Well, there’s lots to learn from my special guest in this episode, and some good th...

In this short episode, we talk about how to protect your parent’s credit cards from getting skimmed while in their wallets. RFID chips are now embedded in almost all our credit cards. For those of us caring for aging parents who are out and about shopping on their own, or with the help of an aide, the idea that their cards can be charged without their knowledge just adds another layer of concern t...

The stress from caregiving can wreak havoc on one’s entire body.  Yet our brains and mental abilities often end up suffering the most.  While in caregiving mode, some of us end up with overload. We feel like our brains are in a total fog.  We question whether we’re the ones with dementia or suffering from early-stage Alzheimer’s.  Fortunately, that’s probably not the case.&nbsp...

How do you identify a problem doctor or facility before they become a problem for you? We all put more effort, time, and research into buying a car than into selecting medical care for our parents, and ourselves.  Why do that?   In this episode, I share easy ways to find out if the doctor, rehab, or care facility you select for your parents is competent, qualified, and honest about what...

Part two: Holding everyone at the facility(ies), including you, accountable (Part #2) Here, in part two, we dive into more ways to avoid falling into the traps that Long Term Care homes, nursing homes, rehab facilities, in-home aide agencies, and hospitals use to protect themselves from your or your parents’ outrage. Are your folks one of what they consider their “ golden meal tickets ,” or corpor...

Elder Law and Care Home Mishaps .  Who’s on your side to help, are they able, and will they help?  You might be surprised by the answers.  After listening to these next two episodes (part 1 and part 2), you will gain a new, more empowered understanding of your parent’s care facility and what they’re legally allowed to do, or not do for them.  In addition, you’ll learn how...

When caring for your parents, how do you make the right decisions for them when they can’t?  Some of us go into paralysis mode, some panic, and others decide based on what choices they feel are best for their folks.  But what’s a good way to weigh the options available? Do you use facts, desires, and what seems right, or face the realities of life – yours and theirs? A lot of factors com...

What is a Long-Term Care or Nursing Home Care Resident Ombudsman? Who do they serve?  How can they help you, if your mom or dad reside in a facility where they’re NOT getting the proper care needed?  Knowing how to get help from an independent outside authority can give you the support you may need or help with deciding what to do if you’re concerned about their safety. With over 15,000...

Top 10 Ways To Reduce The Burden Of Being Cared For : It can be tough to avoid becoming emotionally involved in and impacted by an aging parent’s needs. But, what about when YOU become that aging parent? Well, there are things you can do, now, to reduce the likelihood of becoming that caregiving ball-and-chain around your kids’ necks. Here are 10 ways to start setting things up so that you and tho...

Listen in to this important show. If you’re a Veteran or caring for one, the US government has a ton of benefits available to help you .  Listen in as my guests from the US Veteran’s Administration share information on some incredibly valuable benefits, that you may not know of, that are available to you, your mom, dad, or spouse.  Here are a few examples: Additional pension and financia...

How do you prepare for a natural disaster emergency if you’re caring for an older person? Natural, weather-related, and other disasters happen -- they're often difficult to avoid.  Yet, you can prepare, in advance, so that you and your loved ones stay safer.  In this episode, I review how you can make sure that your parents are safe in their own home, in a care facility, and even in a ho...

Watching one’s spouse or other loved one suffer from dementia may be one of the toughest things ever . In this episode, we listen to how a social worker and home health aides recommended that their client's husband move out of their primary home in order to ease the anxiety and anger of his afflicted wife. While this was emotionally difficult, he wanted to be supportive and make sure his wife rece...