Date Like A Nerd

😮‍💨 You've been on the dating apps for a while and got nothing. Or you finally talked to someone, and it went badly. Now a small voice says you're just not meant to find love, and you're tempted to stop trying. In video games, losing a fight gives you information. In dating, one bad outcome can feel like a verdict on who you are.  🎮 In this episode, Steve Kamb explains why that g...

🍷 Giving up on dating is common if you focus on getting DATES when what you actually want is a relationship. But does dating actually lead to a long-term relationship? Sometimes, yes. But throughout all my surveys, most couples actually started as friends (no, most weren't just "bad at dating"). After all, many who are good at dating end up marrying their friend 💍 👀 In this episo...

🎮 If you're hoping that gaming turns into dating, you might be doing it backwards. The couples I surveyed who met through video games almost never started with romantic intent. They started as friends, full stop. And Mariah and Corey's story is no exception. 🔪 Corey wasn't trying to meet anyone. He'd just gotten off the road as a truck driver, hadn't touched a video game...

😤 "Just Be Yourself" is the most claiché dating advice. But this episode shows you why not showing your nerd self may be keeping you from marrying your Player 2. Because you often don't know what you might be missing until you let your guard down. 🙅‍♀️ In this episode, Emmy and Brian share how they could not stand each other for 3 years, even though they shared the same social cir...

🎲 Practicing flirting can feel creepy... unless you know where to do it safely. Bars, clubs, dating apps, or a real conversation with someone you actually like are where things can go very wrong. But nerds have an alternative that is both safe and fun. Where mistakes aren't punished, but celebrated! 🥳 🧠 Charli (aka DND Charli) is a science communicator, neurodivergent DM, and creator of th...

🤨 Do you need friends if you want to find your Player 2? Not necessarily. But they can certainly help! From making introductions to inviting you to the right place at the right time, helping you overcome your fear of rejection, or dating one of them, friends can be the pathway to marriage. CJ and Ajax's story is one of the best examples. It includes every single one of these! ✅ 💌 In this e...

💬 You're in a group. You know you want to say something. You just can't find the right time. The conversation moves on, the moment passes, and you spend the rest of the evening wondering why it's so hard to just speak up 😶 🎮 In this episode, I talk to Catherine Richardson, a psychologist specializing in geek culture and mental health. She blends Acceptance and Commitment Therapy...

🐉 What happens when a weeb shows up to meet a potential client in sweatpants, messy hair, and zero game? Apparently... marriage and kids! 🎌 Brian had been "putting himself out there" for years. He thought he was doing everything right. He was in shape, playing rugby, feeling charismatic and confident. But something kept getting in the way, and it wasn't his hobbies, his looks, or...

🎲 Want to find love but hate loud bars and clubs? Tabletop role-playing games like Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) could be your perfect anti-social social quest. But here's the catch: you can't just show up, roll a charisma check, and expect to find your Player 2. You need to actually make friends with the people behind the characters! 🧙‍♂️ 🎮 In this episode, Sean (aka Mr. Shickadance), a...

💔 Is it possible to escape the Friend Zone? Or are you worried that if you stay friends too long, you'll miss your shot? 🎯 Most dating advice screams: "Make a move within 3 dates, or you're done!" But what if you're shy? What if they're not ready? What if rushing things actually ruins your best chance at love? 😰 🗺️ Nicole's "master plan" wasn't...

🎯 Going to meetups every week, showing up to events over and over again, hitting nerd conventions annually, and still single? You're not alone. George is a 47-year-old Marvel and Star Wars fan who attends events regularly, has female friends, and can dance without drinking. So why hasn't he found his Player 2? 🤔 🔒 The problem isn't the meetups. It's staying stuck in the cont...

🤔 What if months of cold approaching strangers kept you single and frustrated, but making new friends got you numbers? That's exactly what happened to Mrinal, a past client of mine 🤓 He's a nerd who plays D&D, learned Japanese to watch anime without subtitles, and spent months following mainstream dating advice that made him feel uncomfortable and inauthentic 💀 🌐 When we started...

🫣 Meeting new people can be scary. That's why online gaming communities are a great way to start if you have Level 1 Social Skills and want to farm some XP! 👾 In this episode, I bring back Kaylee Lopez, an anthropologist who writes about gaming and game communities. We discussed why communities are important and how you can use them to level up your social skills IRL 💬 🏰 From self-esteem...

🧐 How can you find a partner at a convention? The Date Like A Nerd surveys showed that conventions are one of the top places to meet nerds, and that real relationships do come out of those connections. In fact, Bimini and Riv's story proves that a convention crush can turn into something real, even when you think they're already taken, even across long distance, and even after starting...

❌ Are you stuck getting rejected after every first date? Dating apps can feel exhausting when you're anxiously trying to perform for someone who barely knows you. Aaron spent 18 months going through 50+ first dates, constantly hearing "you're great, but [polite rejection]." Sound familiar? 📱 💻 As someone who treats problems like debugging code, Aaron spent over a year Googli...

🏋️‍♀️ Afraid to approach your gym crush? Most dating advice tells you to "just be confident and approach them," but does that actually work at the gym? The gym should be a safe space, kind of like your respawn point, where you recharge after a tough day. People go there to lift weights and decompress, not to be hit on by random NPCs. So how do you bridge that gap? 🤨 👨🏻‍💻 In this epis...

🏫 How do you find dates after you're done with college? 🕰️ For many people, high school and uni gave us the perfect place to meet people. But once that's over, what do you do? How can you meet someone to date if you're not meeting... well, basically anyone? 🤷 📜 After graduating, Brandon went from having built-in social circles to basically meeting nobody new. His dating life? Non...

≠ Many of us are different in one way or another, so we try to fit into the social mold. Whether it is being asexual, or a preference like not drinking or doing drugs, playing video games, or anything else that makes us different, dealing with a world where we're different has its challenges 🛑 In this episode, Elyse shares her experience as an asexual woman 🙅‍♀️ From her early teens pretend...

💊 What happens when red pill advice "works"? John thought he'd found the cheat code to dating when his nerdy high school friend got a girlfriend using pickup artist tactics. But after years of grinding bars and clubs, he discovered the hidden costs of building relationships on a foundation of masks 🎭 👨‍💻 In this episode, a 40-something programmer shares his journey from socially...

😭 Meeting your Player 2 organically can be a challenging quest. It involves balancing making friends while keeping an eye out for potential connections. Sometimes, people in a certain group don't share your same passions. Or perhaps not as much as you'd hope. So, how do you move forward? 🤔 In this episode, Pete and I talk about how we socialize, whether the others share our same intere...

💔 How can you find someone to date when dating apps aren't working for you, and all you do is work, stay at home, and meet with the same D&D group or spend full days with one single person at a time playing Warhammer? 🧌 In this episode, Kirk shared his challenges to date as a single nerd 😰 Like many people, he was promised that "if you focus on yourself and sort your life out, som...

👯 What does dating within a nerd community look like? Finding a group you're comfortable with can help you "just be yourself" and find your Player 2. 🙌 It also means you'll be enjoying yourself until that happens, which makes you more attractive! 🧙‍♂️ In this episode, Jose and I discuss what it was like to date within the Argentine Tolkien Association , where we met. Just li...

🦾 What you consider success and achievements in real life could be similar to how you play video games. Dr. Daniel Kaufmann is back to share how learning what we value in video games reflects what we may also value IRL 🌎 Understanding your player type can help you make choices that align with your personality 🤓 Knowing how you play video games can say a lot about the types of challenges you thr...

📆 High school crushes don't have to end with the academic year. Sometimes, relationships may benefit from a respawn much later. After gaining more XP, both players gain new ways to play together. What used to be two solo players may turn into a Co-Op game 💍 In this episode, Pete "Belmont" shares how he lost contact with his high school crush, only to meet again 10 years later at t...

🧝‍♀️ Wish you could find your Fellowship without having to roll a Nat 20 on charisma? Many shy, introverted nerds want to touch grass and be more sociable... without having to join extrovert quests! If that's you, Hobbit Hike could be the perfect solution! 🙌 In this episode, Sompi invites us to join “Hobbit Hike”, a magical, costume-friendly adventure where nerds, geeks, and gamers gather t...