Basic Snitches

Chapter 14:Cornelius Fudge- Vodka is maybe not a good idea- at least not for Tara. In this chapter we meet Fudge Packer AND Luscious Boytoy. ALSO, did you know that Adam likes True Crime? Not sure if he's mentioned it before but he's a fan. Hagrid is not sly but we love him so much. Oh, and someone needs to feed Fang!

Chapter 13: The Very Secret Diary- We're so excited to have Stephen on this very exciting episode! He even wore his Ravenclaw socks! We discuss Cats...and cat humans...and how much Valentine's Day sucks. Basically, just like every other episode...except this time, Stephen is there. Baxter also makes a special appearance...because...well, cats...Stephen and Tara are the same exact depressing person...

Chapter 12: Polyjuice Potion- One thing Tara and Adam can agree upon is that pie is the number one in the definitive ranking of dessert. Change our minds. Double Christmas (Triple Christmas in fact) is great. Pie is great. Myrtle is kind of a bully. Draco is not so great. Pie is still great.

Chapter 11: The Dueling Club- "I would like to say this again in bold this time"...Is Goyle good at potions? Snape causes drama and snowpocolypse ruins herbology. Ron only knows 5 numbers but he also has ALL the great one-liners. Adam's engorgio charm no longer works on Tara's boobs... also Tara threatens Adam with Avada Kadavra no less than 2 times...

Chapter 10: The Rogue Bludger- Perhaps it's time we start working on our intro...Tara is old...older than Adam. She's also Harry. And Harry is Switzerland. The cookie is floating and Madam Pomfrey is still the best.

Chapter 9- The Writing on the Wall- Starting the new year off perfectly by publishing a day late!!! Anyway, there's definitely a ghost in Adam's house and also on the TV...we discuss weird and inappropriate love triangles and Percy is an insensitive prick. Also Happy New Year!

SPECIAL HOLIDAY EPISODE YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED! Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone as told by the Basic Snitches. We're stepping back to season 1 to give you the full first book as told by us through our chapter summaries! Sending love to our listeners and wishing you a beautiful holiday season!

Chapter 8: The Deathday Party- We drink wine. Tara calls herself out on her own BS. Adam is the funny one. Why is there no introduction to practical magic class? Adam has a lot of places to haunt just like his girl, Myrtle. Also, he is psychic...

Chapter 7: Mudbloods and Murmurs- Early morning quidditch practice is the WORST... especially when it's interrupted by rascist Slytherins. Ron does a lecture while burping slugs and Hagrid's got jokes and rocks and Adam's got points to give to EVERYONE! Oh, and Lockhart continues to be the most annoying ever...

Chapter 6: Gilderoy Lockhart- Time to talk about Adam's favorite character!!!!! Why do owls deliver mail during meals? That's gross. Hermione suddenly has no sense because she thinks Lockhart is great. Adam's cats are jerks, and also, we are not drink enough (or at all) in this episode. Don't worry- we're still ridiculous....

Chapter 5- The Whomping Willow: Spoiler- screaming really is NOT fun. Tara renames the chapter "We Didn't Think". Trees should always be allowed to fight back. Snape has amazing timing and Adam shockingly still awards points in this episode.

Chapter 4: At Flourish and Blotts- Harry needs to work on enunciation...also, Tara had a weird childhood and once again, we're giving out free advertising... YOU'RE WELCOME TARGET.

Chapter 3: The Burrow - Tara has (probably not) learned her lesson about voice to text note-taking. Ron is pretty great in this chapter, Molly Weasley freaking rocks, finally the Dursleys are out of our lives, and also, YOU'RE WELCOME MICROSOFT FOR OUR FREE ADVERTISING!

Chapter 2: Dobby's Warning- Sometimes drinking an entire bottle of wine while recording is a good idea....and sometimes it's not. Dobby is a life-ruiner, Harry's birthday gets worse, Vernon is racist, geese are the worst.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter One: The Worst Birthday- THE SNITCH IS BACK! Welcome to season 2 where we appropriately drink too much wine and complain about awful muggles! Welcome back!!! Follow us on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our survey https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/NYL8SPW

Sorcerer's Stone Wrap-Up: Adam and Tara go through their favorite parts of book one and discuss the first movie with new HP fan, Natalie Zenczak! Learn who wins and loses the book, hear Adam award the house cup and see what we're excited for in Chamber of Secrets! We're taking a few weeks off, so we'll catch you Snitches on Oct 9 with the first episode of book 2! Follow us on Facebook and Ins...

Chapter 17: The Man With Two Faces- In the final chapter of the first book, Adam and Tara determine that Ravenclaw should be winning the house cup every year and that Quirrell sucks because murdering an 11 year old should be easier. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our survey https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/NYL8SPW

Hiiiiiii!!! Adam and Tara take you through the story of the Puffs- a nice, happy, badger-loving group of students who attended magic school with a certain glasses-wearing hero. Guest starring Daniel Hunsicker, Nathan Ott, Kyle Burnett, Sarah Price, Andrew Keller, Jay Sigler, Tessa Gaffney and Brian O. Jackson. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches

Chapter 16: Through the Trapdoor- Wizard exams are cool...unless you have to take them while being afraid that someone is going to come MURDER YOU while you're debating on a multiple choice question! Ron is only sometimes good at jokes. Bae is a terrible word. Adam sees growth in the characters. Tara successfully avoids a lawsuit. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our sur...

Chapter 15: The Forbidden Forest- Exciting discussions include the importance of magical office supplies, the "mom arm" and how maybe this detention shouldn't have been approved.  Follow us on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our survey https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/NYL8SPW

Chapter 14: Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback- We are on the home stretch and we're going to finish the thing! Hooray us! Adam hates this chapter because everyone sucks at basically everything. Also everyone is suspicious. And nosy. Just not a good chapter for anyone. Check us out on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our survey https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/NYL8SPW

Chapter 13: Nicholas Flamel- Malfoy is a terrible bully. Some fat cat interrupts recording. Snape is suspicious. Ron is good at something. Oh, and N Flam is an old dude. Check us out on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our survey https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/NYL8SPW

Chapter 12: The Mirror of Erised- Our first hour long episode is here and it's DOUBLE CHRISTMAS! Spelling stuff backwards is fun but trying to pronounce it is awful. So there are shinanigans and presents and Christmas dinner and a LOT of points to Adam's favorite... Check us out on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our survey https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/NYL8SPW

Chapter 11: Quidditch- Tara changes the rules and takes chapter 10's win away from Harry, which is kinda rude. We talk about sports-because we're experts on THAT subject. Snape sucks, Hooch sucks, Ohio weather sucks. Everything is dangerous. Lee Jordan and McG 4EVA!!! Check us out on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our survey https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/NYL8SPW

Chapter 10: Halloween- Adam gives Tara a new nickname. Draco still sucks and a trio is born. Also, Tara and Adam give a certain Tony Award winning play lots of unnecessary promotion (but also, we mean every word so if you'd like to sponsor us we will gladly talk about how great it is every single episode!) Check us out on Facebook and Instagram @basicsnitches and take our survey https://www.survey...