All Therapists are Jerks, and . . .

Outtakes for the Happiness episodes.  WARNING: Some choice words are said in this short outtake.  Apparently, Ulland and Jo see different things in the chapter they reviewed.  Like . . . entirely different things seem relevant to each of them.  Phenomenology at its best or worst, depending on your perspective. 

Episode 45. Happiness Part 2. Ulland and Jo complete their discussion of concepts relevant to the happiness formula; H = S + (V+C), as found in Jonathan Haidt's book, "The Happiness Hypothesis." We discuss adaption, the hedonic treadmill and smaller things that lead to happiness in the moment which is necessary to help build a life well-lived.

Episode 44. Happiness Part 1. Ulland and Jo discuss the happiness formula H=S + (V+C), as found in Jonathan Haidt's book, "The Happiness Hypothesis." They discuss the set point, voluntary activities and conditions that seem to matter the most to having a contented life.

Episode 43. Black Friday Dog Adoption Cliffhanger. Ulland shares with Jo and viewers the outcome of the 2020 resolution to adopt a canine buddy. Damn. It was hard. And, wouldn't you know it? Opinions. Everyone's got one.

Episode 42. How to End a Relationship. Ulland and Jo discuss ending relationships when patterns of communication as discussed in previous episode seem impossible. They review setting limits as a good starting point and then how to bring in the skills of interpersonal effectiveness. Things are more complex if the relationship involves children. Often relationships are not sustainable when others ar...

BKRVW02: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. This is a helpful book reviewing how we can change our behaviors with digital media in ways that benefit our lives. Cal does a wonderful job looking at the pitfalls of social media and "Attention Engineering" and how that can impact our lives negatively. He offers practical ideas to implement towards regaining our lives back in more meaningful ways then...

Episode 41. How to Keep a Relationship Part 2. Ulland and Jo complete their discussion of habits and patterns for healthy communication. This episode reviews role-reversals, and valuing emotional intimacy.  These episodes will be followed by an episode reviewing how one ends a relationship from a DBT perspective.

Episode 40. How to Keep a Relationship Part 1. Ulland and Jo review habits and patterns of healthy communication which lay the foundations for relationships worth keeping. They review a dialectical approach, stress tolerance, integrity, wisdom, sharing emotional space, accountability, and self reflection.

BKRVW01: Drunk Tank Pink by Adam Alter. This is the first book review by Ulland for this podcast. Due to having a life to live, and in this case the Packers needing to win one more game today to be in the Superbowl, Jo is not present. This book is worthy of a read for ease and interest. There are lot of interesting ideas for how humans are easily influenced by environment in both good and not so g...

Episode 39. Not a cult? Why so much Kool-Aid? In this episode Ulland and Jo review how DBT may be confused as being a closed group, often misunderstood by other treatment providers from other models. It has been accused as being cult-like from outsiders—just like most cults are accused of being cults from outsiders. They review Theo Dorpat's book on Gaslighting, Double Binds, and Covert Control in...

Episode 38. Black Friday Dog Adoption. In this episode Ulland discusses his family's difficulty adopting a previously not-so-loved canine. Jo provides moral support and some feedback with respect to dialectical approach, catching missed opportunities and repairing in the moment. We review the importance of grieving the loss of pets. Children learn how to deal with loss and be more able to grieve f...

Episode 37. Interview2: Matt.  In this episode Ulland and Jo invite Jo's good friend Matt to a conversation. Matt skips the "pleasantries," willingly jumping into the deep end. He shares the importance of healthy adults, particularly when our own parents are struggling emotionally. He discusses how people in their suffering unintentionally cause suffering in others, which leads to a discussion of...

Episode 36. Welcome to 2020, if we are not there already. In this episode Ulland and Jo discuss New Year's resolutions. Jo provides some helpful pointers at how to view resolutions more as intention, and how to use behaviorism to lead to greater success with change. We review how any change is best accomplished through connecting intent within values.

Episode 35. Happy Holidays. In this episode Ulland and Jo talk a little about the holidays which leads to a discussion about fitting back into a family system after experience personal changes. In general, they suggest decreasing expectations, practicing radical acceptance and keeping a dialectical stance. Both explain that there often can be a sadness to radical acceptance of distance in relation...

Episode 34. While in Atlanta at the 2019 ISIT DBT conference, Ulland and Jo finish an interview with Izzy and Julianna, a mother-daughter dyad from a family they worked with over two years ago. They share what it was like to transition home and adjust to life as usual. They discuss how it was to be more congruent with emotion and far more skillful than before, sometimes in relationships that are n...

Episode 33. While in Atlanta at the 2019 ISIT DBT conference, Ulland and Jo continue an interview with Izzy and Julianna, a mother-daughter dyad from a family they worked with over two years ago. They share what it was like as an individual and family to learn and apply DBT to their life and the challenging family work they were open and willing to take on. Izzy discusses how the idea of learned h...

Episode 32. While in Atlanta at the 2019 ISIT DBT conference, Ulland and Jo interview Izzy and Julianna, a mother-daughter dyad from a family they worked with over two years ago. They share what it was like deciding to come across the country to a 12 week, high fidelity DBT residential program.

Episode 31. In this episode, Ulland and Jo discuss three common lessons learned from invalidating environments including confusion, hopelessness and crisis=connection. Jo probably cusses a couple of times. Ulland discloses a shocking detail that he has a friend who is a dentist, and again pretends to know more than he likely does.

Episode 30. In this episode, Jo and Ulland redo the biosocial theory—at least the third third. This section covers invalidating environments. This episode also can be found on YouTube under the channel "All Therapists are Jerks".

Episode 29. In this episode, Jo and Ulland redo the biosocial theory—at least the second third. This section covers behavioral dysregulation. This episode also can be found on YouTube under the channel "All Therapists are Jerks".

Episode 28. In this episode, Jo and Ulland redo the biosocial theory—at least the first third. This section covers emotion dysregulation. This episode also can be found on YouTube under the channel "All Therapists are Jerks".

Episode 27. In this episode Ulland and Jo review how to have difficult conversations.  How to win at tug of war.  Maybe keeping the cowl on is a good idea--just in case, Kylo.   Much of this episode has to do with how one needs to be aware of one's own ability to regulate in the moment to be effective.  

Episode 26.  In this episode Ulland and Jo review various skills and principles within DBT that can be used in parenting. Examples are given. Validation and dialects are common themes.  

Episode 25.  In this episode, Ulland and Jo review in the moment interactions through the use of Lorna Smith Benjamin's Interpersonal Reconstructive Psychotherapy. The dimensions are a dialect between disconnection and connection, and control versus emancipation. 

Episode 24.  In this episode Ulland and Jo review relational mindfulness.  Reactivating relationships is central to this episode for relationships that have grown distant with conflict.  Jo dishes on an ex-roommate and how she was affected by distance in the relationship.  Special continued thanks to Alan Fruzzetti and his training for DBT in family therapy.