Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

With our life story missing chapter 1, it's no wonder identity can be tricky or a complete mystery for us adoptees. How can we feel good enough if we don't know who we are? Listen in as Jeff and I explore identity beyond shame, guilt and trauma. Jeff was adopted at birth. Raised in the Bay Area by two wonderfully loving parents, Jeff still felt a pull to know and uncover the mystery of his origin....

We adoptees often believe there is something wrong with us. This is known as pathologising ourselves. Adoptee Joyce has been working in the adoption world for 55 years. Listen in as Joyce shares what she's learned about busting the belief that there is something wrong with us. Dr. Pavao has done extensive training, both nationally and internationally.  She is a lecturer in Psychiatry at Harvard Me...

Late Discovery Adoptee Dr Syb got tired of being mad. At times she felt she didn't want to be here - in this place or lifetime. So what did she do? Listen in as we go deep into healing. Profound. Empowering. Just like we love these conversations. Dr. Syb is an educator by birth and a journalist by choice. She is a Vanderbilt educated, Harvard trained, two-time Emmy-award winning journalist. She is...

Here's the links I mention towards the end of the interview https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/self-love-for-adoptees https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_AaeYGXVYQ Growing up, Black transracial adoptee Rebeccah Carlson hated the colour of her skin. She hated her hair and her lips. She would dress in the dark to avoid looking at herself. So how did she go from this to self acceptance?...

 So many of our feelings come from subconscious thoughts. That's a challenge because we can't deal with what we aren't aware of. Listen in as we explore adoption trauma and awareness. Get insights from people in the constellation that don't normally feature on the show. Birth mom Ashley Vite and daughter of an adoptee Kayla Vite are life partners and host the Adoption is podcast... "We are here to...

Working with a therapist involves making ourselves vulnerable. Putting ourselves in their hands. Accepting their authority. Emma's therapist abused her trust. Time and time again Emma ignored red flags as her intuition warned her off her therapist. Listen in as we explore this and how you can become aware of the red flags you've seen. Other people can't know us like we can know ourselves. There ar...

Our motivation away from pain is far stronger than our motivation toward pleasure. That's why painkillers outsell vitamins. But what if we are - completely innocently and inadvertently - prolonging emotional pain? Listen in as Vin and I unpack this to relieve shame, insecurity and all those painful feelings we don't want. Vin runs a Facebook group where adoptees and adopters can learn from one ano...

We've been through tough stuff so how do we adoptees grow? How do we learn from our mistakes? Listen in as Andres shares some of his learnings from both adoption and being diagnosed bi-polar. We explore who we are beyond our story, labels and psychology. Here's a bit about Andres  "My name is Andres, and as an adoptee, I created The Adoption Door to help people understand the experience a little b...

Like many of us, Daryn was underprepared for the emotional upheaval of reunion. Listen in as he shares learnings from reuniting with his birth mother and some of the different activities he's done to heal. We go deep on understanding who are, and who we are not. This empowers us to step off the treadmill of seeking approval from others. Here's a bit about Daryn from his website: Hello! My name is ...

So many of us adoptees feel so many painful feelings. Suppressing them leads to explosions later on. Numbing them through alcohol and drugs often leads to more pain. Fighting them never leads to peace. So what does? Listen as transracial adoptee Abby sheds her light on finding peace. Abby was adopted from Bogotá at the age of two months and grew up in a small suburb of New York City. She received...

There's pain and beauty in adoption. Donna like she's been healing her whole life. But coming out of the fog was a shock to her system. Listen in as she shares her insights on an expanding awareness of her self. That's where the most profound shifts are happening that are powering on to a better life. https://www.linkedin.com/in/donna-joseph-6a277a6/ https://www.facebook.com/donna.joseph123 https:...

How do we heal is one of those inevitable questions that come up after we come out of the fog. Listen in as Cindy and I explore practical steps to heal and principles to help us along that journey. The distinction between healing physical v emotional wounds is particularly beneficial. Here's a bit about Cindy from her website: “I was adopted at 3 months and have always known. I have always had the...

We adoptees have so many questions! And international adoptions often throw up so many more especially when records are so sadly lacking or non-existent. Listen in as Yael shares what she learned handling ambiguity, letting go of overthinking and much more as we get to the heart of reunion decades after an international adoption. Here's  bit from from Yael's website: There comes a time in every ad...

Fighting abandonment, grief and loss is for many of us, a deeply ingrained habit. Pamela's 27 year relationship with alcohol was a big part of her fight. She shares some of her life changing insights on the road to sobriety and finding happiness within. Pamela Karanova, an adult adoptee, living in Lexington, Kentucky, was born in Waterloo, Iowa, in 1974. Although Pamela’s roots are scattered all o...

VL felt, as so many of us adoptees do, like an outsider. She was also adopted into abuse. Listen in as she shares what's helped move past this to forgiveness and letting guilt go. V.L. Brunskill is the award-winning author of the Savannah novel Waving Backwards  and the forthcoming memoir The Killing Closet .  She is also a blogger at adoptionfind where she shares lessons learned from her (pre-int...

Transracial adoptee Gina grew up in a very white part of the USA. Racism was part of her daily life. Listen is she shares her insights into getting clear about who she is, bravery and confidence.  Here's a bit about Gina and the background to her interview: The child welfare system can be a labyrinth for foster children and adoptees - a maze built around sometimes inadequate research, poor informa...

Doug almost died when he was 5. When he found out he was adopted at 6 he took that in his stride. What on earth do these two things have to do with one another? What on earth can we learn from this to help us be happier? Listen in with big ears. This is a BIG episode! Here's a bit about Doug from Amazon "I lost my adoptive mother, and my adoptive father has since remarried. However, I always felt...

Identity is tricky - to say the least - for many of us adoptees. For late discovery adoptees it can be a complete nightmare. LDA Fred's identity was swept away. So how did he find out who he really is? Listen as Fred shares his learning curve and see how that could help you along yours. There are lessons aplenty for all of us - not just LDAs. Here's a bit about Fred from his website. Fred Nicora h...

Hypervigilance — the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you — is often the result of a trauma. No wonder it's so common amongst us adoptees. Listen in as Jools and I explore it and becoming comfortable in our own skins. Here's a bit about Jools from her website: I am an adoptee from the “Baby Scoop” era. I spent more than 25 years searching for my biological origins in...

Our volcanic eruptions of anger threatens to burn us alive. Gut wrenching shame threatens to engulf and drown us. So how do we survive this rollercoaster of a life? Listen in as Carolyn shares what she's learned - and continues to learn - to heal. Carolyn or Patricia as her birth mother named her, was born in April 1959, in the historic English town of Stratford- upon- Avon. She was the first daug...

The powerful emotions we adoptees feel can sometimes threaten to overwhelm us. So how do we get past those feelings? Listen in as fellow adoptee and podcaster Jennifer and I explore trauma, deceit, identity, mindful awareness and much more.  Here's a bit about Jennifer from her website: Hi, I'm Jennifer who is an adoptee in reunion with both sides of my birth family. I have been connected with the...

How can we love ourselves when we don't know who we are. Listen in as adoptee Ron shares what he's learned about his genetic identity and history to get closure. We also talk about busting the belief we are not loveable. Ron Levi (1964- ) was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan and raised his family in Centennial, Colorado for eleven years before returning to Michigan in 2007. Mr. Levi is a Senio...

Finding our own worth can be tough for us adoptees. And yet it's vital for self esteem. Listen in as adoptee Elena and I explore this vital topic from both a religious and non religious perspective. Elena S Hall is a LMSW, adoptee, author, and speaker who has a passion for adoption advocacy that stems from her faith and family. She loves to write, dance, sing, and tell stories. Her goal is to aid...

What's the difference between sabotaging ourselves and protecting ourselves? How do we stop sabotaging ourselves? Adoptee, adoptive parent and psychologist Chaitra dives deep into this area so we understand what's going on and get out of our own way. Here's a bit about Chaitra from her website: Since taking my first psychology class in high school, I knew that this was the field in which I was mea...

Birthmother Cathryn Vogeley went through hell. PTSD messed up her mind. Listen in as she tells how that mind got blown. In a good way. To help her heal. Understanding what she went through will blow adoptees' minds too. In a good way too. Listen in as we talk unconditional love and ending our feelings of separation. Cathryn Vogeley was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania during the post WWII baby boo...