The Dildorks

Polyamorous dating can be pretty different depending on whether you’re single versus in a long-term relationship already; this week we discuss our experiences of both kinds.   Primary vs. Anchor | Hierarchy | Scarcity vs. Abundance | Avoiding Codependency | Growth & Change | New Relationship Energy | Monogamous-Minded People | Dating Newbies | Bringing It Up | New People | Couples’ Privilege | Sec...

This week we’re discussing some interesting and unusual fetishes we’ve stumbled across recently, from glossy magazines to nail-biting to haircutting.   Glossy Magazines | Eggs | Job Ethics | Squidly Co. (Discount Code DILDORKS20) | Non-Consensual Haircutting | Forced Masculinization | Nail-Biting | Context-Dependent Desires Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to su...

This week we discuss two crucial qualities that can make you exponentially better in bed (and out of bed, too): curiosity and creativity. Sexual Skills | Communication | Curiosity | Accepting Feedback | Limitations | Compassion & Empathy | Conflicts & Problem-Solving | Solo Curiosity | Curiosity is Attractive | Asking Questions & Listening | Long-Term Relationships | Brainstorming & Decision-Makin...

Pursuing pleasure isn’t always as easy as it may seem, so this week we’re discussing some common hurdles to pleasure and how to overcome them, among other things.   What is Pleasurable? | Resistance to Sensation | Underprepared for Pleasure | Hurdles | Daydreaming | Romanticizing Your Life | Posting About Pleasure | Nervous System Regulation | Mental Preparation | “How Can I Make This Fun?” | Work...

When times get tough, pleasure becomes more important than ever. This week, we discuss our favorite ways of accessing pleasure, and the role it plays in our lives, both in and out of the bedroom.   Pleasure Activism | “A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats” | Taking the Leap | Beacon of Pleasure Permission | Our Favorite Pleasures | Cocktails & Rituals | Cleaning & Organizing | Learning & Improving | Savo...

This week we’re continuing to discuss some of our favorite films about the LGBTQ+ experience – plus a few about non-monogamy and sex work, for good measure!   750GB of Trans Content | Obsession & Bigotry | Sylvia Scarlett | Call Me Kate | Katharine Hepburn | Angels in America | Spirituality for Queers | Fellow Travelers | The Apprentice | Lavender Marriage | Some Like It Hot | Tootsie | She’s the...

We needed a dose of queer resilience this week (maybe you do too!), so we’re talking about some of our favorite queer films and the evolution of LGBTQ+ cinema.   The News | Hope Throughout History | The Struggle | The Birdcage | The Celluloid Closet | Philadelphia | Straight Actors in Queer Roles | Making Love | Nathan & Robin on Oprah | Ben-Hur | Hays Code | Saturday Night | Coming Out & Outing P...

This week we get real vulnerable (and a li’l intoxicated) and tell you about some of our favorite new fantasies from 2024, the goals we set for our sex lives last year, and what we want to try in 2025.   Fantasies | Pleasure Inequality | Meta-Fantasies | Plausibility | Zero-Consequences Room | Severance | No Nut November | Skull-Fucking | Last Year’s Goals | New Goals | Paring Down | DP | Ask For...

How did you grow and change in 2024 when it comes to sex and relationships? This week, we’re reflecting on our biggest (and kinkiest) shifts over the past year, plus discussing our current favorite sex toys.   Overall Shifts | Uneventful? | Openness to Long-Distance | Alone Time & Codependency | New Things | Rimming | Horny Genders | Cryo | Penis Pumps | Cages & Sleep Sex | VR Porn, Trance Trigger...

Vocal tone can have a big effect on kink scenes and everyday conversations alike, so this week we’re discussing our feelings on voices and dirty talk.   Dirty Talk & Humiliation | Voice Kink & Praise Kink | Long-Distance | Off-Camera vs. On | Speaking vs. Typing | Attraction | The Ick | Performativity | Billy’s Yes/No/Maybe List | Gender & Pitch | Dom & Sub Voices | Archetypes & Parts | Gender & B...

People are always coming up with new and interesting fetishes, and this week we discuss some unusual ones we’ve seen lately.   Current Definition | “Deviating” from the “Norm” | Taboo & Shame | Cream Pies & Facesitting | Bubble-Blowing | Sex Work Stigma | Mind-Reading | Sex Worker Fetish | Accelerator & Brakes Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show...

This week, a conversation about denial kink devolves into a wide-ranging discussion of gendered sex narratives, the kinky legacies of trauma, and the Big Nut.   Orgasms vs. Other Stuff | Enough to Make You Blush | (Lack of) Power | Motivation & Specialness | Big Shiny Stakes | Self-Worth & “Deservingness” | Family Influences | Working Toward a Reward | Healing | Topping | “Throw ‘Em a Bone” | “Men...

What if celebrity crushes can be healthy, actually? This week, we discuss some of the benefits of parasocial relationships, for people on both sides of the slash.   Masculinity in the Sex Shop | Benefits for Crush-er | Emotional Energy | Low Investment | Is It New? | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality | Dead Famous | Stalkers | Benefits for Crush-ee | Motivation & Inspiration | Needing Reassurance | F...

This week Kate and her spouse mb discuss the politics and philosophy of No Nut November, and how it compares to chastity play.   NNN vs. Chastity Kink | Greater Purpose | Love & Affection | “Don’t Think About It” | Teasing | Sleep Hygiene | Insomnia | Working Out | Flagging | Unusual Turn-Ons | Concentration | Willpower & Inescapability | Political Spectrum | NNN’s Far-Right Roots | Locktober | Nu...

We’ve experienced parasocial relationships from both sides of the coin, so this week we’re discussing our experiences with this sometimes-nice, sometimes-yikes type of attraction.   That Fuckin’ Election, Man | People vs. Characters | “Mainstream” Pop Culture | Presumed Intimacy | Social Staircase | Is It A Problem? | Avoiding Vulnerability | Manic Pixie Fucktoy | Tech Adaptations | Crushworthy Tr...

Happy Halloween! This week we’re discussing our favorite fantasies outside the realm of realism.   Fantasies Changing Over Time | Impossibilities | Tropes & Genres | Hypnosis | Being Watched | Magic vs. Medicine | Mind-Reading | Fairies | Dragons | Love Potions | Settings & Mechanics Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to our priv...

We’re taking the week off, so here’s the full, previously-unreleased conversation we had when Kate interviewed Billy for Making Magic in September of last year! We touched on the Magic Wand’s role in queer sex, trans sex, porn, kink, and our lives as a whole.   First Memories | Current Relationship to the Wand | Aesthetics | Porn | Conducting Vibrations | Dysphoria | Trans Sex | Queer Sex | “Best”...

This week, we dig deeper into the fear of rejection, sharing some ways we cope with this fear in our own lives and discussing how cultural and hormonal factors can influence it.   Asking for Reassurance | Self-Soothing | What’s “Too Much”? | Incels | What Does Sex “Mean”? | Hormones | Confidence & Self-Awareness | Vote for Making Magic! Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a...

Halloween is coming up, so we decided to talk about fear… of rejection!   Fear Fluctuations | Self-Soothing | Vulnerability Points | Pandemic Changes | Building Resiliency | What Are We Afraid Of? | Scarcity Mindset | “Hey, Fuck You!” | Rejecting vs. Rejected | “Beggars Can’t Be Choosers” | Guilt vs. Shame | Non-Monogamy | Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria | Vote for Making Magic! Credits: Music by PR...

Sadists get a bad rap sometimes, so this week we’re discussing some of the things we love about them.   Stigma | Consent | Emotional Complexity | Intimacy & Vulnerability | Fantasy vs. Desire | Empathy & Understanding | Trust & Holding Space | Communication Tools | Joy Over Normalcy | Comedy vs. Psychodrama Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show an...

This week Billy chats with his partner, Dee Darkholme , about their shared love of cannibalism kink.   Cannibalism Is Romantic | Obsession & Limerence | Butchering & Preparing | Silence of the Lambs | Primal Mauling | Vore & Tinies | Media | Cannibalism: A Perfectly Natural History Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to our privat...

Friend of the show Mx. Nillin Lore has a new book out called How Do I Sexy?: A Guide for Trans and Nonbinary Queers , so this week we spoke with them about trans sexuality, furries, body modifications, and more!   How Do I Sexy? | ‘Own Voices’ Trans Art | I Saw the TV Glow | Beacons of Permission | Trans Joy | HRT | Don’t Have to Hate It to Change It | Good vs. Bad Doctors | Body Mods | Disturb th...

This week, we discuss how we’d prepare for a first date, a threesome, a first sex/kink conference, and a new crush, in honor of National Preparedness Month.   Why Prepare? | Managing Anxiety | Neurodivergence | First Dates | Conversation Topics | Sex on the First Date | Condoms & Vibrators | Threesomes | First Con | Oncoming NRE Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron...

Can people-pleasers be into service kink? This week, we’re discussing our evolving relationships to providing and receiving service (sexual, domestic, and otherwise) within kink dynamics.   Trauma & the Past | Explicit Instructions & Praise | Defining Service | Intentionality | Anxiety & Neurodivergence | Misdirected Service | Turn-On vs. Love Language | Purpose & Meaning | Intimacy & Being Seen |...

Can you believe we’ve done 400 episodes?! This week, we look back at some of our old “hot takes” and see whether we still agree with them.   Vulnerability | Categories | Friendship | Things We Hate | New Crush Energy | LGBT | Kate’s Favorite Episodes | Dating Vanilla People | Scheduling Sex | Growth Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get ac...