No Crying In Baseball

The trade deadline gutted the Cubs and Nationals, sent hometown heroes across the country to make immediate impacts , and gave us the “Let’s Go, New Guy!” chant. Not to mention the upheaval in qHAR (quality Hair Above Replacement) with Joey Gallo to the Yankees and Freddy Galvis to the Phillies. Patti and the Pottymouth give you the rundown on the most nerve-wracking and frenetic trade season we c...

The Cleveland Baseball Team officially becomes the Guardians , which requires footnotes (but we’ve got’em). It’s always Women in Baseball Week for NCiB, but this week it is official for the rest of the world. We re-cap the wildly successful Baseball for All Nationals and preview some steps to making college baseball more possible for women. We rant a little about the criticisms of the groundbreaki...

In this Davey Martinez appreciation episode, Patti and special guest co-host Junior Pottymouth catch you up on the aftermath of the shooting outside Nats Park. Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis, Jr., and other Padres were heroic in their assistance getting fans to safety, while in the home clubhouse Nats manager Martinez assured security guards that the fans taking shelter belonged there because “our...

NCIB officially endorses Sonny Gray’s solution to a rough pitching outing.  Take a moment to get naked. If only that worked for all the pitchers from our Padres and Cleveland flocks currently on the IL and messing with our fantasy teams. Actually the solution to everything is ¡Más Kiké! Or vaccines.  Getting vaxxed would have solved a lot of issues for the Phillies -- Patti is not happy with curre...

Patti is off on vacation, so guest host extraordinaire Blake Kraus fills in and takes on the role of the rant for the team. There’s plenty to rant about in the Police Blotter segment with (CW/TW) Trevor Bauer , plus an update on dick-pic sender Jared Porter . On a positive note, Blake gets to humble-brag for Patti as she rakes in the Baseball Boyfriend starting All-Star picks . More fun stuff incl...

The first week of enforcement of the sticky stuff rule resulted in dropping of pants and threats to do so, the ejection of Joe Girardi for calling out Max Scherzer after demanding a substance check mid-inning, and Hector Santiago winning the dubious honor of  first pitcher suspended under the new world order. Pottymouth is still grooving on her visit to Fenway. It’s a toss-up if the best part was...

Patti and Pottymouth poke holes in the sticky substance mid-season zero tolerance enforcement plan, Seriously, we have a million better approaches to solving this problem. The Disney Prince is already hurt, umpires are in a stop and frisk situation, and the Astros have still never been punished for actual cheating. Joey Votto is Abigail’s hero, and ours too. The Os vs Blue Jays series gives us hot...

It’s Pride month so we give you the rundown on MLB events including a first on the field , swag (rainbow jerseys with your pick of pronouns ), atonement , and atonement still due . Anyone know if the Padres “ spinny thing ” has a name?  It stars in our fashion segment about team-specific MVP accessories , which could be improved by adding dancing. Our police blotter update on the dismissal of the...

Pottymouth’s Red Sox household welcomes a Yankees fan interloper, and Patti faces the I’m from Cleveland but named the kid for Camden Yards dilemma for the weekend series. Classic boyfriends do us proud, with Kiké’s bat coming alive, Albert Pujols climbing up the all time lists, Christian Yelich proving blonde bats have more fun, and Cedric Mullins going 5-5. Patti’s current Os BF, Ryan Mountcastl...

The Nats Park streaker , bringing joy to millions, deserves a Skittles endorsement, but is banned from ballparks for life, while Mickey Calloway is out a year and a half for sexually harassing at least five women. Guess where we come down on this? Marcell Ozuna goes from former NCiB boyfriend to the “Never gonna be a boyfriend” list quickly and definitively. We’d like Loretta’s Lounge back, please...

You know it’s serious when Tony La Russa and his unwritten rules aren’t the worst thing in our Police Blotter. Hello, Felipe Vazquez . The Willy Adames trade sends Pottymouth’s boyfriend roster into disarray. Jesse “Da Wink” Winker hears MVP chants. Chad Pinder and Ian Happ are new men after their IL stints. Jake Cronenworth hits an inside-the-park home run for Patti’s birthday, and Mountcastle sl...

Ava Benach, through DC Girls Baseball , is building a community of leaders and teaching life skills while giving girls who want to play baseball every opportunity to do so. Through Ava, we meet four tenacious, focused, fearless young ballplayers who change the world every day by playing on their high school teams despite being told they should be playing softball instead, working twice as hard to...

The Astros bring us “ feudalism ” as our vocabulary lesson, the LPBRC looks the other way with Roberto Alomar, and both the player’s union and officials from the City of Oakland call the commissioner’s office on operating in bad faith. And still our biggest rant involves cross-training with high school softball in North Carolina and, yes, questionable rules about hair . Albert Pujols finds a home...

We moms who love baseball celebrate Mothers’ Day with actual Baseball Moms, Stephanie and Diana, of the Moms and Baseball podcast. We bond over words to live by, good snacks, the Akron Rubber Ducks, and Tim’s mom. Separately, we give the mom seal of approval to Erica Scherzer for remarkable planning, Dusty’s mom for Spanish language and cooking lessons, Beth Mowins ’ mom for telling her of COURSE...

The British Baseball Federation demonstrates exactly why women should be involved in every level of the development of a women’s baseball league. And causes us to state for the record that we will not work topless. We celebrate David Peralta, Eduardo Escobar , Anthony Rizzo and Freddie Freeman for bringing the fun. Joey Votto , Shane Bieber , and Vladdy (and his Daddy) reach some “Bench”marks. Rob...

Join us as we celebrate AS*HAT Day, discuss the food choices of ballplayers, and try to make “crepuscular” a baseball word. The Baltimore Orioles are an impressive public health model as they strive for 100% vaccination organization-wide, offer free COVID-19 testing at home games, and put their “take one for the team” vaccination PSA program into heavy rotation.  Not to mention stopping the red-ho...

Your vaccinated co-hosts record in the same room for the first time in over a year! Thank you, science. COVID outbreaks hit the Twins and maybe the Astros , and we can’t help but feel a little told-you-so about Andrelton Simmons . Jake Cronenworth, David Price, and Joe Musgrove are all in the same sentence but not how you’d expect. Joey Votto executes a triple play but we think he could have done...

Your over-stimmed hosts have been to a ballpark and you can hear it in our scratchy voices. Charlie Blackmon helps us explain why Coors Field is a pretty good choice for the All Star Game. Joe Musgrove finally earns the Padres their first no-hitter, and we learn he, like us, enjoys a nice IPA but also a disturbing amount of chewing gum. Victor Caratini gets some well-deserved love too. The Clevela...

Opening weekend was full of heartbreak and highlights we didn’t see coming. Approving of a decision by Rob Manfred has us reeling, so we take you through the decision-making, and the aftermath, of yanking the All Star Game from Atlanta. Turns out it wasn’t just our rant, and there are also grammatical issues. Miggy’s homer in the snow, and outstanding pitching brought the fun, as did stellar boyfr...

We always look forward to Opening Day, but it just feels different this time.  We are moving in the right direction -- it’s HOPEning Day.  But don’t worry, we also have rants. And mezcal. Patti and the Pottymouth channel patron saint Sean Doolittle -- sports are the reward for a functioning society. If a couple of old white guys in Georgia can take voter suppression to new heights, MLB can damn we...

We are those people that believe that Jesus Camargo-Corrales wouldn’t have more than 21 pounds methamphetamine and 1.2 pounds of oxycodone in his Cubs duffel bag if minor league players a living wage. Also helpful hints from Pottymouth about consent to search. An appellate court rules the MLB’s small print is way too small to matter. Patti clearly cannot pronounce Red Sox Cornah, but Pottymouth su...

The Rangers think a superspreader event is a great way to welcome Opening Day, while the rest of the ballparks plan to welcome a small number of fans back to the stands. The Commissioner uses the minors as his own private laboratory to try out a huge number of new rules in advance of CBA negotiations. Shortstop, conqueror of the Durham Bull, and Pookie’s pal Willy Adames is Pottymouth’s Rays boyfr...

Pottymouth narrows the field to white guy bat flippers for her boyfriends this week.  For the As, she picks big league foodie Mark Cahna , and for the Padres, the man on the wrong end of our favorite play ever witnessed in person, Trent Grisham . Patti goes for utility and puns with her picks.  Chad Pinder wins her over for the As with his work with special needs kids, and “that Cronenworth guy”,...

The return of spring training means the return of our grooming segment, featuring Francisco Lindor, as well as all the feels, thanks to Trey Mancini. And great confusion as to the rules. Jose Abreu provides a handy bridge between the COVID update and the Police Blotter, via Albert Pujols and Tony LaRussa.  Kevin Mather says some things out loud that he probably shouldn’t have, regarding manipulati...

Pitchers and catchers reported last week so that means we’re back with the COVID numbers , the Blue Jays staying south of their border, and baby steps to fans in the stands . NCiB poster boy Fernando Tatis, Jr. is a Padre for life, and forces us to do complicated math. Pottymouth generously tries to cut Brett Gardner some slack, but Patti will have none of it. Thanks to Johnny Damon and Ryan Ellis...