Encountering You

"Narcissist" might be one of the most overused words online right now, thrown at exes, bosses, and parents alike. But narcissism isn't a light switch; it's a spectrum, from healthy self-regard all the way to a clinical diagnosis. In this episode, we unpack what narcissism actually means, why the loud, grandiose stereotype isn't the whole picture, and how to protect yourself in a relationship with...

We often use "stressed" and "traumatized" like they're interchangeable but your nervous system treats them very differently. In this episode, we break down what's actually happening in your body during everyday stress versus a trauma response, why the same situation can trigger wildly different reactions in different people, and how to tell which one you're dealing with so you can actually reach f...

Ashley is back and this time we're talking about play, spontaneity, and joy through the HOCI lens of moderation. I grew up not knowing how to play. She grew up playing naturally but maybe using it for regulation. In this honest, funny, and personal conversation, we talk about what we've each had to learn from the other, why play and joy are core to healthy functioning, and what it looks like to fi...

Adult friendship doesn't happen by accident, it happens on purpose. In this conversation with Ashley, co-owner of our counseling practice and my best friend, we talk about why making friends as an adult is genuinely harder, why so many good friendships quietly fade under busyness, and what it actually takes to move a friendship from surface-level to real. We will also discuss concrete takeaways—th...

Self-care isn't a spa day or a to-do list. In the HOCI model, it's one of the six core areas of healthy human functioning -- the ability to identify and tend to your own needs across four domains: physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual. In this episode we look at why self-care breaks down, what the value wound has to do with it, and why the cultural version of self-care leaves a lot of peo...

A wounded sense of worth doesn't stay in childhood. It follows you into your work, your relationships, and the story you tell about who you are. In Part 2, we trace the value wound into adulthood -- the achievement treadmill that never stops, the relationships where love never quite feels safe, the inner critic that renders verdicts instead of feedback. Then we look at how a value wound shapes ide...

Worth is not something you earn. But most of us grew up in environments that treated it like you could and should. In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, we look at the core issue of value: what inherent worth actually means, what children need to internalize it, and what happens when those needs aren't met. We also unpack the two directions a value wound tends to go one-up and one-down and the...

In Part 1 we named the patterns of codependence. In Part 2 we go deeper – tracing codependence back to its developmental roots, looking honestly at what it costs us, and walking through what healing actually looks like using all six principles of the HOCI model. Not a new self. A more honest one.   In this episode we will look at: What families teach without meaning to – and how attachment wo...

Most people hear the word codependence and think: not me. But codependence isn't reserved for people in crisis or recovery – it's a spectrum, and most of us are somewhere on it. In Part 1, we look at what codependence actually is through the HOCI framework, and introduce five patterns that most people will recognize in themselves. In this episode we will discuss: The Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI)...

I've been doing the work. I've read the books, sat in the sessions, had the hard conversations. And then something happens -- and I find myself right back in a pattern I thought I was done with. What is wrong with me? Am I ever going to get there? If you've asked that question, this episode is for you. "Am I fully healed?" is one of the most common questions that surfaces in therapy -- usually fro...

Have you ever agreed to something and driven home feeling like you left a piece of yourself in that conversation? Or held so firm to your position that the relationship paid the price? Compromise gets a lot of good press -- but most of us have never learned the difference between healthy flexibility and quiet self-erasure. In this episode, we use the Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) framework to loo...

Many of us reach a point where we notice it; the way we react, the way we shut down, the way we respond in relationships and think, I don’t want to keep doing this. In this episode, we explore what actually gets passed down in families and relationships, and why those patterns can feel so hard to change. Through the lens of attachment and the nervous system, we look at how our reactions are often...

Many of us grow up believing that hard work will eventually lead to success, stability, and fulfillment. But career and financial stories don’t always unfold the way we imagined. In this episode, we talk about the disappointment that can surface when work feels empty, progress stalls, financial stress lingers, or success fails to satisfy the way we thought it would. We also explore how cultural me...

Parenting carries some of our deepest hopes for connection, meaning, and legacy. But the story of parenting doesn’t always unfold the way we imagined. For some, the disappointment comes from longing for children that never arrive, through infertility, miscarriage, or not finding a partner to build a family with. For others, the grief happens within parenting itself when children struggle, relation...

Many of us grow up assuming marriage is simply the next step in life. But what happens when that story doesn’t unfold the way we expected? In this episode, we explore the quiet disappointment many people carry regarding relationship status: whether that’s longing to be married, navigating singleness, divorce, dating later in life than expected, or feeling lonely within a marriage. We also talk abo...

In this special Q&A episode, Laura is tackling a few questions that have been coming up a lot lately around mental health and relationships. She shares some interesting trends showing up in 2026—from people switching to “brick phones” to set better digital boundaries, to the danger of self-diagnosis and conversations around family boundaries. Then she covers some practical questions: How do you kn...

In this episode, Laura explores the difference between judgement and curiosity—and why learning to regulate our judgement is essential for becoming grounded, healthy adults. She explains how judgement is biologically protective, when it’s necessary for safety, and when it crosses into harmful territory. Laura then offers a roadmap for shifting from judgement to curiosity while holding ethical boun...

In this episode of Encountering You, Laura Williams explains why nervous system regulation isn’t about being calm, positive, or emotionally controlled. Regulation is about your ability to stay present with stress, emotion, and discomfort without shutting down or becoming reactive.   You’ll learn how fight, flight, freeze, and fawn show up in everyday life, why dysregulation isn’t a failure, a...

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In this episode, Laura explores why purpose is so essential to our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being—and why so many of us feel disconnected from it. Instead of treating purpose like a goal to achieve, Laura reframes it as something that naturally emerges as we heal, become more grounded, and reconnect with who we truly are. Drawing from personal story, the Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI)...

Encountering You will be taking a short break over Christmas and New Years. In this short message, Laura shares what she hopes for you this season, and a preview of what to expect from Encountering You in 2026!

The holidays can stir up more than joy—they can activate old wounds, grief, and loneliness we don’t always talk about. In this episode, Laura gently explores why this season can feel heavy, how family systems and sensory memories pull us back into old roles, and why grief shows up in so many forms. With grounding tools and compassionate guidance, she invites you to move through the holidays with m...

In this episode of Encountering You, Laura Williams explores how a well-known relationship tool — Love Languages— can unintentionally create disconnection when used as a rule instead of a reflection of real love. Through the lens of  Healing Our Core Issues , Laura unpacks how our love languages often reveal unmet childhood needs and how genuine connection grows through attunement, not performance...

Politics and faith weren’t meant to be weapons, but windows into the heart. When conversations turn political, it’s easy to choose sides and lose sight of each other. In this week’s episode, Laura will talk about what happens when belonging gets tangled with belief—and how to hold conviction without losing compassion. Maybe the real question isn’t whose side are you on , but how can we stay connec...

In this episode, Laura continues her conversation on forgiveness — exploring what it looks like when healing unfolds slowly, safely, and in relationship. Using the story of Peter’s denial of Jesus, she shows that forgiveness isn’t about rushing past pain but creating space for honesty, safety, and repair. You’ll hear why forgiveness before safety feels like self-betrayal, how healthy shame can ope...