Blue Balls NYCFC

Jake and Trey are back at the tail end of silly season, talking practical signings and practical kung fu! Your boys in blue talk australian imports, strikers not striking (we recorded before the Sylla deal fell through but we handled it sweeties no worries), and the apparent MagnoNandez Do-Si-Do. PLUS: football! The other kind! AND: as promised, Jake & Trey move one country east to review Stev...

It's the off-season and we promised you we'd get up to some shenanigans; Jake and Trey break down every sizzling inch of the hot stove and the NYCFCeefsteaks being seared on it! We talk merging Magno, a homegrown unceremoniously Haaked off, the baby Blues leaving and the baby Blues returning,  and much more. THEN: Jake and Trey watch their LEDs turn red and their easy money get harder as they revi...

It's over/under time, the MOST wonderful time of the year! Break out your scorecards and work through the season with us. Where did we go wrong? Where did we go right? And where did we go home? But before that, Jake & Trey have more to say about sporting directors, signed and unsigned contracts, and the future of New York City FC. Plus a fond farewell from the most fun season in years. Thank y...

It's the season wrap-up, Blue Ballers! Jake & Trey review the eastern conference final flame-out against MLS' Miami monster before they similarly routed a top-shelf Vancouver to take the cup. But there's plenty else to talk about: World Cup draws and World Cup prices, broadcast rights and wrongs, and MLS joining the big kids table with a fall-to-spring schedule. And coming soon in part 2: Sant...

Folks, we didn't think we'd be here. But you know what they say: when men make plans, Maxi Moralez laughs. A 1-0 victory over supporters' shield superstars Philly Union has given NYCFC the keys to the eastern conference finals, and your boys in blue are breaking it all down for you. We talk why the squad's goal was #squadgoals, the magnificent Maxi, False Nine Nico, transition positions, Jansen's...

It took yer boys three goals, too many yellow cards, and one fallen soldier, but NYCFC is back in the eastern semifinals!! A white-knuckled ending to the Charlotte chronicle leaves NYCFC on top with a 3-1 victory. We chat Nico's wondergoals, performative Haaktivism, the Armchair Ignorance of Tayvon Gray, and the devastating consequences of Charlotte's concrete turf for perennial NYCFC protagonist...

Pour something to take the edge off, Blue Ballers; NYCFC's going to a third match. Jake & Trey pass the time waiting for the polls to close by recapping a frequently frustrating bout against visitors Charlotte that ended in a heartbreaking penalty shootout which broke for the away team. We talk Tayvon's Gray-test performance, load-bearing O'Neills, the gaffer's strategic struggles, and Julian'...

Oh Baby, Blue Ballers, it is playoff time, and boy is it ever. Jake and Trey talk the whole shebang right after the big playoff road win - Alonzo's wonder goal, Freese's tidy night, Pascal's surprising choices, and how the boys held it down. Then, a quick precap of a Zaha return to the bronx and what else might change for the pigeons in flight. Strap in jiggle the harness, you've got Blue Balls.

Blue Ballers, it's October and the pigeons are still flying. Pascal Jansen's first season ends with an ignominious 1-2 defeat against Seattle, but NYCFC still in the 5-seed and facing perennial thorns-in-our-ass Charlotte FC over 3 matches. Jake & Trey talk Seattle's red flags and blue balls, punchy postmatch patter, AI-nxiety, Trey's 2025 ballot (not that one), and of course a playoffs precap...

Blue ballers, the season is winding down but we're WOUND UP! Jake and Trey sit down to take some end of season lessons from the Philly phumble. Then: we talk about it and literally nothing else. David Lee, one of the true NYCFC originals, is leaving for greener pastures. What can we say about him? No, actually, what can we say? C-Lee-chet as it is, we must call it the end of an era. So take your y...

Blue ballers, you sound crazy. 0-4 loss? What Miami game? Your boys in blue are here to talk about a ROUTING in the Hudson River Rivalry which saw the New Jersey Red Bulls all but btfo of playoff contention with a 2-3 loss against the Pigeons. Jake and Trey are giddy to tap the spine of this team and examine just what turned a blowout into a blitz this week. We talk Martins mistakes and massive mo...

Your boys in blue are in fabulous spirits. Not only are we six points up from last time against conference titans Charlotte and Columbus, but the homie Jake returns triumphantly. We talk titillating tactics, the conditioning secrets of those beefy Dutch boys, Fernandez and Freese’s fabulous feats, and more. PLUS: Matty’s contract and Braddy’s hard tacks. AND: a messi little precap of Miami and Mah...

Ahoy Blue Ballers and welcome back to yet another Blue Balls Bonanza in the most wonderful (and stressful) time of the year. Trey is yet again Jake-less but not John-less as John Baney of Hudson River Blue joins the pod again to breakdown the huge Chi-town 3-1 win. The guys talk the big comeback, Nico's unique role, how Gustavo fits in, and the goalfest. Then, Alonso Mart-DP-nez? And how does this...

Zut alors Blue Ballers, Blue Balls is back - or shall we say "Blue Ball" as Trey went solo dolo on this one to get you a quick episode before NYCFC head into the wild and wacky home stretch of the season. Trey talks a surprising DC United upset that stopped the boys in blue's momentum in its tracks, and why this team can't beat bad teams - does anyone know? Then, a recap of a convo with Huicho Bar...

Three points against Cincy have your boys in blue BUZZING to, once again, fall for it! Is NYCFC good now? Did the summer transfer window go well, actually? Are our acquisitions firing on all cylinders? Is Jansen a shoe-in for coach of the year? Will we throw it all away this weekend to drop points to worst-in-the-league DC again? Better finish drafting that gerrymandering legislation... you've got...

We've got friends in low places, and Nashville is one of them following a 2-1 victory here at Yankee Stadium in Curtis Sliwa's own Boogie-Down Bronx. How did the ragtag bunch of misfits on NYCFC pull it off? Jake & Trey break down the specifics for you including the miserably missing Martins, new toy Nico shoring up the back and making nonzero contributions in the front, and our enduring faith...

Another week of whiplash in Blue Ball City as Jake & Trey break down the 4-3 victory over Dallas, followed by the ignominious goalless loss against Puebla just a few days later. We chat Nico Fernandez' immediate impact, a pockmarked and panic-inducing back line, el Clinico's return to working service, and much more. Plus: surgery after surgery, and Gray's anatomy is no solution. And: a spicy l...

Three matches, four points, two dudes, one pod — do the math, Blue Balls Nation! Jake and Trey dig into the first three chapters of our summer road odyssey. We talk Maxi's minimal contributions, young guns, lament the missing birds and wolves, Perea winging it, and so much more. Plus: the stove has gone from cold to sizzling with arrivals and departures galore. And: a quick n' dirty Dallas precap...

Three points at home against Toronto put the wind at NYCFC's back staring at a challenging set of away games — but will they be able to handle it? And who's this mysterious stranger with a $10 million pricetag around his neck? Jake & Trey break down our domination of the Ontar-rible Toronto FC, talk Maxi woes and upcoming solutions, thick midfields and missing Martinezes. THEN: the gold cup fi...

A grim 0-1 loss to worst-in-the-east Montreal has Jake and Trey feeling weary. We gripe, groan, and grasp at straws to understand what has this team, in the words of one prophetic coach, "showing up late to the party." We touch the Third moRailez and talk about aging playmakers and the frustrating gaps left in their wake. And then? We talk about the good stuff. The Freeze-Teens Golden Showdown. Th...

It's been a long lonely time, but we're back to give you exactly what you've been clamoring for: jetlagged europilled blue boys yapping about whatever. There's some soccer in there, we promise. Jake & Trey hit the Atlanta and Nashville games, Hannes Wolf's productive and suddenly resilient body, water strategies of the great Mediterranean states, Matt Freese's ascension and the haters who don'...

Good morning, good afternoon, good night and good luck Blue Ballers — following a massive 3-1 victory over Gregg Berhalter's visiting Chicago Fire, your Boys in Blue are starting to feel optimistic about the season again. And with NYCFC sitting at 6th in the east, we've got good reason! We cover a punchy yet pinioned Chicago, goals and goal support from Bakrar, Wolf, and Martinez, the solidity dev...

Your boys in blue have a treat for you this week — Jake and Trey are joined by the illustrious DAN AVIDAN (Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party) who flexes his bonafides as an OG fan of NYNJ soccer and a stalwart NYCFC supporter from season one. Your starstruck hosts cannot help but get into full-on interview mode with Dan, but worry not: the threesome also merrily recap the triumphant 2-1 win over Nashvi...