Beautifully Complex

In this episode, I explore the crucial importance of providing adaptable approaches to education for neurodivergent children and those who struggle in school. Prepare to discover three key ways to implement flexibility in education, ranging from the flexibility of the learning environment to accommodating different modalities of learning and allowing individualized planning and organization. Becom...

In 2022, 34 students and adults died in school shootings, while more than 43,000 children were exposed to gunfire at school. These are startling statistics, but an epidemic that many Americans have grown somewhat numb to. While we’ve become accustomed to expecting more school shootings, it doesn’t reduce the fear and anxiety kids and parents feel. In fact, the inevitability keeps the lack of contr...

Everyone has eight senses — the five we know commonly, which are our “far” senses, and the three additional senses that are our “near” senses. The three additional senses of vestibular, proprioceptive, and interoception are vitally important to regulation.   In this episode, I’m joined by occupational therapists, Rachel Harrington and Jessica Hill, hosts of the All Things Sensory podcast. Listen i...

School is hard for neurodivergent kids — there's no question about that. Traditional educational systems are not designed for kids who learn differently. That means we have to advocate for our children and take steps to provide a path for success. First and foremost, we must understand the end goal of schooling: to provide our children with the education and skills they need to thrive as adults. W...

Everyone needs grit for self-actualization. Without experiencing that we can do hard things and be okay on the other side, we don’t feel truly successful and fulfilled. Of course, we want this for our kids — we want them to have grit and to feel a great sense of achievement and purpose. So how do we foster grit in our kids (and ourselves, btw)? The short answer is that we allow failure and then le...

Our culture is pretty rigid and it calls for parents to be rigid in their parenting as well — you set rules and limits, kids break them, you punish them. But, this is not good parenting!  Kids do need structure but they also need the space to be authentically who they are and find their own path. Rigidity doesn’t allow kids to be true to themselves, it doesn’t allow parents to feel good about thei...

Parenting itself can be traumatic — it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders to protect your child while also teaching them to live their truth and live it fearlessly. When you add in neurodivergence, you amplify the stress, anxiety, and intensity. And your body holds onto that stress, anxiety, and intensity — it doesn’t feel safe and it signals you not just emotionally and menta...

One of the struggles we hear from parents again and again is that their child lacks self-regulation. Being with a kid who can’t self-regulate day in and day out is challenging, no doubt. But you can help your kid calm and kids can learn to self-regulate — you just need the right strategies. In this episode of Beautifully Complex, outline five strategies to help your child get regulated or to foste...

It’s hard not to get overwhelmed when parenting neurodivergent kids. The chaos, the school meetings, the appointments, the seemingly never-ending need… it’s a lot to juggle. But what our souls crave — what we need to truly live — is joy, ease, and presence.  In this episode, Heather Chauvin of Emotionally Uncomfortable reminds us that overwhelm is just a symptom, not a lifestyle. Instead, focusing...

Though our understanding of autism has greatly expanded, many autistic individuals are still missed or misdiagnosed. Not all autistics are severely outwardly impacted, like Rainman. Autism is a spectrum and it can show up in many different ways — even camouflaged.  In this episode, I’m talking with Donna Henderson, Psy. D. & Sarah Wayland, Ph. D., authors of the new book,  Is This Autism? A gu...

We talk a lot about strategies for when our kids get stuck, but what about us? Parents can certainly feel stuck too. I’m feeling it to the nth degree these days, and I’ve decided to share my current feelings of being stuck in the stuck of stuck and what I’m doing to slowly find my way out of that darkness.  In this episode I share my current stuckness, how doing simple things has been hard for me,...

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by your child’s behavior, numerous possible interventions, school struggles, medication trials, and your feelings about all those things when you have a child with ADHD or autism. And we can’t live our best lives, or help our children live their best lives, when we’re overwhelmed and trying to do too much at once.  “We’re living in systems that make it hard for [parent...

The rate of suicide in children is rising sharply, not at a true crisis point. It’s something we worry about as parents, and rightfully so. Especially when we’re talking about a marginalized population like neurodivergent kids. Conversations with our kids about suicide are paramount, but often avoided because it’s a really hard topic to think and talk about.  In this episode, Jonathan Singer, Ph....

Parents and teachers often worry that if they help a kid with lagging executive functioning skills that the kid won’t develop skills for independence — that they won’t be able to function on their own. But, the truth is, you can help a child with functioning skills and teach them independence skills. The first step is to replace doing things for the child with doing things with the child. In this...

There is a LOT online about ADHD and autism. A LOT! How do you know what to trust, what to try? It can be tough, especially when you’re searching through a lens of fear and worry for your child.    In this episode of Beautifully Complex, we offer some guidelines on knowing what to trust and considering what interventions are worth trying. We talk about ADHD medication, diet, brain training, and mo...

You want to help your child. So you make some assumptions as to why they’re upset, why they’re not getting things done, why they’re avoiding or disengaging… You show empathy and validation with that info, still trying to help, and then your kid gets more upset and you can’t figure it out because you feel that you did everything right. The hurdle you tripped over may be assumptions and judgment. We...

There are some tough and scary things in life that we need to talk to our kids about: divorce, serious illness of a family member, moving, death of a loved one, to name a few. As parents, we don’t want our kids to be hurting and often default to sharing as little painful information as possible with them. But, we do them a great disservice with that approach. Instead we need to be open and honest...

Instead of viewing ADHD and autism through the medical model, we need to view them through a strengths-based model as the neurodiversity movement does. A strengths-based model uses interests and strengths to help with challenges. We talk a lot about it in terms of parenting and educating, but now it’s time to teach our kids to operate through a strengths-based lens.  In this episode, Dr. Matt outl...

If there’s one thing parents of struggling learners understand, it’s that the IEP process is complex. Between the law (IDEA), qualifications, the IEP document, goals, measurements, and formal meetings, there’s a lot to know and navigate to ensure that your neurodivergent child receives the education they deserve (and have a right to).   In this episode, I’m joined by Master IEP Coach, Catherine Wh...

Biology influences behavior. Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world does, too. The challenges neurodivergent kids experience at school and in their classrooms are tied to their neurological differences and how their bodies interpret their environment and gauge their safety. When kids don’t feel safe, they cannot regulate and they cannot learn.   In this episode, Dr. Emily King helps us under...

It’s easy to fall into bad patterns with our interactions with others, especially our kids. But a better relationship is always possible, as long as you make changes and do the work. In this episode, Sarah Wayland, Ph. D. is back with me to talk about making amends, repairing the relationship, and pivoting to more healthy and rewarding interactions. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www....

Intelligence and learning and doing are different things. An individual can be highly intelligent and also struggle with getting things done or even with learning itself. When someone has both a high IQ and a learning disability, they’re referred to as twice-exceptional, or 2e. As you can imagine, this can be a struggle in school, as well as other aspects of life, because people tend to automatica...

It’s the 6 year anniversary of the Beautifully Complex podcast so I’m looking back at some of the most pivotal lessons I’ve had about parenting neurodivergent kids. I’ve interviewed nearly 150 experts and also parented my son from young teen to young adult during that time. I’ve learned a lot! Listen in as I explain my six biggest aha’s and what they could mean for you and your child — the interco...

Many neurodivergent kids — including those with ADHD, autism, and anxiety — can be quite aggressive at home or at school. To cope with and improve aggressive behavior, you have to understand why it happens. In a global sense, the child doesn’t feel safe, and acknowledging this is a great place to start.  Tosha Schore of Parenting Boys Peacefully is my guest on this episode. In her work with famili...

We’ve been busy recording the sessions for the upcoming Decoding Behavior Summit, March 3-5, 2023. In this episode of the podcast, Sarah and I reflect on the common principles and strategies we heard from the experts in this Summit, including your role in your child’s behavior, the importance of adult regulation, the transformative properties of a sense of control for kids, and more.  Become a sup...