You Are Not Crazy

In this episode, I talk about a communication pattern that so many people experience in emotionally abusive and high-conflict relationships—but rarely have language for. It’s the moment when a message sounds reasonable on paper, calm in tone, even “child-focused”… and yet your body reacts immediately. I walk through what’s happening when someone says all the right things while doing the opposite—h...

After leaving an abusive relationship, it’s common to find yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of self-doubt. You replay conversations. You question your memory. You wonder if you overreacted—or if maybe it wasn’t that bad. In this episode, I break down why second-guessing yourself after abuse isn’t a flaw—it’s a survival response. I talk about how abusers train you to distrust your own perceptio...

This episode is about why everything feels harder, louder, and more urgent during the holidays when you’re navigating high-conflict divorce or co-parenting with a controlling or volatile person. Why situations that felt barely manageable in October suddenly feel explosive in December. Why your body feels like it’s bracing for impact every single day. And why so many parents reach a breaking point...

I unpack a viral TikTok that has been shared hundreds of thousands of times—and why its message is far more dangerous than it first appears. On the surface, the video presents itself as “relationship advice” about how women can keep men happy. In reality, it reinforces coercive control, sexual entitlement, and the idea that women are responsible for regulating men’s emotions, egos, and loyalty—oft...

In this episode, I’m sharing a simple end-of-year practice I’ve returned to every year since 2017—one that has nothing to do with resolutions, goals, or fixing yourself. It started in a yoga class on New Year’s Eve, during a time when my life was quietly falling apart. I was deeply depressed, circling the truth that I needed to leave my marriage, and trying to survive day to day. The exercise was...

This episode is not about fresh starts, resolutions, or manifesting a better year. It’s for the people who feel heavy, uneasy, or scared as the year changes. I’m sharing honestly about what the end of the year felt like for me when my life didn’t feel safe—when I was still inside emotionally abusive relationships, even though I didn’t have that language yet. I talk about the dread that replaced re...

The holiday season has a way of revealing what we’ve been trying to ignore. When the pressure to perform, host, or appear “happy” collides with the chaos of an emotionally abusive relationship, everything that’s been buried rises to the surface. In this episode, I unpack why abuse patterns intensify around the holidays — and how to recognize the moment you finally see the cycle for what it is. I a...

This episode explores what happens when the holidays don’t feel magical—when they instead trigger memories of tension, performance, and survival. I reflect on how November and December can awaken body memories of chaos, control, and grief, even years after leaving an abusive relationship. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen,...

In this episode, I talk about one of the most confusing and insidious forms of manipulation survivors face in high-conflict relationships and co-parenting: Double Speak. It’s that moment when control hides behind concern — when an email, message, or conversation sounds calm and reasonable to everyone else, but your body knows something is off. It’s when someone says, “I just want what’s best for o...

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking a phrase almost every survivor has heard at some point: “You’re the only one who has a problem with me.” It’s one of the most subtle yet powerful forms of emotional manipulation — the kind that makes you question your reality, your reactions, and even your goodness.  When someone says this, they aren’t giving you perspective — they’re stripping you of credibilit...

Abusers often hide behind confusion — denying intent, twisting reality, and framing your hurt as an overreaction. What starts as a simple disagreement turns into you questioning your memory, your emotions, and your sanity.  I share how this pattern plays out in everyday moments, from small promises broken to emotional gaslighting that keeps survivors trapped in cycles of guilt and self-doubt. If y...

This episode builds off of last weeks where I disussed DARVO in Family Court. I cover exactly how to capture DARVO behavior in a way that lawyers, GALs, and court professionals can actually understand. You’ll learn how to: Identify the denial, attack, and role reversal phases in real-time. Translate emotional chaos into factual, court-readable documentation. Recognize when the abuser is using the...

November is Family Court Awareness Month, a time to shed light on a system that too often fails to protect survivors and their children. In this episode, I explore what happens when a court system that frequently reframes abuse as “conflict,” rewards manipulation, and punishes protective parents for trying to keep their kids safe. I walk through: What Family Court Awareness Month is and why it mat...

If you’ve ever felt like your abuser managed to twist the truth so completely that you ended up defending yourself against their behavior — this episode is for you. Today, I’m breaking down DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — and how it shows up in divorce and custody cases. DARVO is psychological warfare disguised as concern. It’s the reason you end up explaining, over and over, w...

Not every discard looks like a dramatic blow-up. Sometimes it comes quietly — through silence, stonewalling, and indifference. That kind of ending can be even more destabilizing, because it leaves no scene to point to, only the hollow feeling that something is over. This episode unpacks what it means to be discarded in this way, how it twists reality and casts you as the villain, and why holding y...

This week, I’m sharing a private Q&A episode usually reserved for my Patreon and Substack members. I wanted to make this one public because it speaks to something so many survivors struggle with: the pull of the trauma bond, the shame that lingers, and the confusion around whether someone has truly changed. In this episode, I answer two powerful listener questions: 1️⃣ How do I stop the shame...

I explain how abusers redefine what abuse is, minimize their actions, and use comparisons to “someone worse” as a shield from accountability. I break down how they weaponize therapeutic language, flip the script so boundaries look like cruelty, and create a public image that leaves survivors questioning their own reality. Support the show *Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my servic...

Trauma bonds aren’t about shared hardship or difficult experiences. They’re cycles of abuse and relief that hook your brain and body like an addiction. That’s why it feels impossible to just “get over it.” In this episode, I break down what trauma bonding really is—and what it isn’t. I talk about how intermittent reinforcement keeps survivors stuck, why naming it matters, and why treating it like...

Control in an abusive relationship often hides behind the illusion of change. They might say the words you’ve been waiting to hear— "I know I hurt you," "I’m working on myself" —but without real accountability, it’s not growth. It’s performance. This episode unpacks how shame drives manipulative behavior, why false accountability keeps you trapped, and how tactics like gaslight...

Family court is a system that doesn’t run on empathy — and that can be one of the hardest realities for survivors to face. In this episode, I share the lessons I’ve learned about communicating with attorneys while navigating years of custody battles and post-separation abuse. You’ll hear why sending every message, email, or update in real time can backfire, how to frame patterns in a way that lawy...

When you’re trauma bonded, wanting them isn’t about love—it’s about relief. The relief of the fight being over. The relief of feeling seen again, even for a moment. In this episode, I break down why your body can know they’re toxic and still long for their presence, and why that doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. We’ll explore how your nervous system and brain chemistry keep you hooked, why...

This episode takes a deep dive into the realities of co-parenting and divorcing a high-conflict person. I answer some of the most common questions I hear from survivors—like how to handle manipulation of your child, what to do when the other parent lies about you, what parallel parenting really looks like, and how to survive smear campaigns and legal abuse. You’ll hear the patterns I see over and...

I’m sharing the truth about a trauma bond I was in—how it formed, why I stayed, and what it took to finally break free. This isn’t a highlight reel or a neatly packaged story. It’s the messy reality of living in a cycle of harm and hope, of being pulled in and pushed away, of mistaking control for care. If you’ve ever been asked, “Why didn’t you just leave?” —or asked yourself the same thing—I wan...

When you’re trauma bonded, wanting them isn’t about love—it’s about relief. The relief of the fight being over. The relief of feeling seen again, even for a moment. In this episode, I break down why your body can know they’re toxic and still long for their presence, and why that doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. We’ll explore how your nervous system and brain chemistry keep you hooked, why...

This episode is a little different. Instead of diving into a specific topic, I’m sharing updates, announcements, and all the ways you can work with me. If you’re new here—or wondering what I offer beyond the podcast—you’ll hear about: Upcoming divorce-focused episodes and why I’m expanding the podcast to include them. My Substack and daily writing for survivors. Self-paced courses on emotional abu...