UnToxic Positivity

It's that time of year again, when we think about changes we want to make in ourselves. Historically, I have hated the idea of setting goals, but I have changed my tune. I'm all for setting the right kind of goals, for the right reasons. Join me in setting goals for the new year in surviving the Boss from Hell Share your thoughts and ideas with me if you have something you'd like to address--or if...

Is it possible to be grateful for having a difficult boss? My theory: Not only is it possible, but it's also better for you and your mental health. The struggle will make you stronger. Doesn't make it easier or more fun, but remember that it will benefit you in ways you may not be able to anticipate now. What else should we talk about? Share your thoughts and ideas with me if you have something yo...

I've heard the commentary--perhaps it's a bit tongue-in-cheek--that YOU are the common denominator in all of your failed relationships. Guess what? It's true. Whether you're in a romantic relationship or dealing with the Boss from Hell, whatever happens, you (and your brain) follows you. Your mindset and thought processes sometimes sabotage you. How do you break out of that cycle?   Share you...

I used to think that what I wanted out of life was to be comfortable. Then I learned that avoiding discomfort only created a different discomfort. I am doomed to experience discomfort. So, what discomfort am I willing to experience? The discomfort of choosing something new, different, unknown? Or the discomfort of staying in my comfort zone, knowing that there is more out there for me? Share your...

Our fundamental advantage over every other type of creation is our ability to make decisions. Either we decide, or we are a victim of the decider. Which are you? I'm discovering that there are layers of victimhood and the victim mentality, and it is surprisingly easy to slip into being a victim. You are not a victim. You are the product of your own decisions. Choose well. Share your thoughts and i...

Who are you? How do you identify? Your answer to this question will have a big impact on how well you can deal with the Boss from Hell. It's important to recognize, accept, and then maybe change what your identity is. It's not hard, but it's also not easy. Let me know your thoughts. Share your thoughts and ideas with me at ken@kenwilliamscoaching.com. Or if you have something you'd like to address...

Happiness is the goal, isn't it? Don't we want a different job, or boss, or salary, or home town, or everything...because it will make us happy? But really, I'm wondering, do you WANT to be happy? Here's a different way to think about happiness. And it starts with wanting it. Let me know your thoughts. Share your thoughts and ideas with me at ken@kenwilliamscoaching.com. Or if you have something y...

The Law of the Lid. I had never heard of this before. In all of my years learning about Leadership. Nothing. Until a couple of weeks ago. Another podcast discussed it. And I'm fascinated. How is the Boss from Hell limiting you because of his or her lid? And how are you limiting yourself because of YOUR lid? Let me know your thoughts. Share your thoughts and ideas with me at ken@kenwilliamscoaching...

This is another take on boundaries. I hear about boundaries frequently, so I will probably continue to talk about them. Also, thanks to David, I'm cross-posting this episode on both the Bad Boss Podcast and Untoxic Positivity. Listen to them both. Next time: The Law of the Lid Share your thoughts and ideas with me at ken@kenwilliamscoaching.com. Or if you have something you'd like to address--or i...

I grew up thinking it was important to "Be Nice!" But I worry that niceness lets people walk all over me. So I have a choice. I can allow that, or I can establish boundaries. The simplest way I have been able to understand boundaries is they're like the front door to my house. It is there to protect me...not to punish you. It may become important to establish (and enforce!) boundaries as we develo...

"Keep Portland Weird!" "Embrace Your Weirdness" It all sounds fun, until your weirdness rubs ME the wrong way. Well, Your Weirdness is not YOUR problem...it's MY problem. This week we talk about letting people be their own weird selfes. (Conveniently, this also allows US to be OUR OWN weird selves. We are just who we are. No expectations, no rules, nothing. Curious about working together? Let's ch...

Funny thing about how we interact with our brains and our thoughts. We tend to believe everything our brain tells us.  Problem is, our brains are wrong. Lots of the time. Maybe MOST of the time. But our thoughts FEEL true to us. So we accept them, trust them, and believe them. What if that's a bad idea? What if we approach our relationships with the understanding that we're probably wrong abo...

A recent seminar for rusty pilots got me thinking about this week's topic. Fifteen years ago, I got my private pilot certificate, but it's been about 11 years since I've been flying. It's time to get back up in the air. As I have started the process of breaking the rust off, an experience from my flight training came back to mind, where the lesson was, "If you don't trust your instruments, you WIL...

"That's just Jason." I've learned that I can either be frustrated that someone doesn't act the way I think he should, or I can accept that however he acts is just him. This week, we explore the difference between thinking that people should be different, and accepting that they are how they are. And how that can improve the relationship. Have comments or suggestions? Reach out to me at ken@kenwill...

When my oldest, Allison, was 11 years old, my sweet wife insisted that "When Allison turns 12, ONE of us is moving out!" Later, she invoked the "Mother's Curse" on Allison..."someday, you'll have a child JUST LIKE YOU." That meant I had to come up with my own curse, which I call the "Father's Curse." "You're going to marry someone JUST LIKE ME." What do you do about the choice your kids make about...

I used to love my job. And then, all of a sudden, I hated it. I complained to my boss. To my wife. And to my peers. And then I realized that NOTHING CHANGED except one single unimportant element of my daily work. Instantly, once I realized that, I decided that I don't have to hate my job just because some circumstance changed. And then I realized that I can help YOU love your job, too. Whether it'...

I used to believe everything I thought. Everything FELT so true. It felt so RIGHT. And I love being right. So even with thoughts that didn't serve me well, and that had plenty of evidence to the contrary, I thought unkind things about myself and others. And then I realized I might be wrong. What possibilities open up if I'm wrong about the thoughts I THOUGHT were true...that I'm not smart enough,...

Follow along with me on my coaching journey. Why am I finally drawn to being a coach (and BEING coached)? Well, I have realized that many of my foundational thoughts have been unchallenged...and they might be WRONG. If you're wondering whether we'd be a good fit and you're interested in getting out of the passenger's seat and into the driver's seat of your life, reach out to me at https://tidycal....

Welcome to my new Coaching podcast. In this episode, I share a little about coaching and why I decided to become a certified life coach. Feel free to follow my journey, and reach out to me if you would like 15 minutes to talk about how coaching has helped me and how it can help you. You can schedule time with me at https://tidycal.com/kenwilliams