Untethering Shame

Do you carry a quiet, persistent feeling that you are somehow too much for some people and not enough for others, no matter how much work you've done? You are not alone. In this episode, we go beneath the strategies and the affirmations to the place where that feeling actually lives. We tackle a question from an anonymous listener: "I've been in therapy. I've read the books. I've done the work, an...

At 42, Jane went home to Taiwan for Chinese New Year and stayed in a hotel instead of her parents' house. It took four decades of healing work to get there. In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Jane I-Chen Liu, LMHC, SEP, a therapist trained in IFS, EMDR, and Somatic Experiencing, to talk about why boundaries with parents feel so impossible. We get into why you swing between o...

Do you say no with confidence to friends and family, then fold the second your boss sends a "do you have a few minutes?" message? You are not alone. In this episode, we get honest about why work boundaries feel impossible even after years of boundary work. We tackle a question from our listener Deb: "I've gotten better at limits with friends and family, but the second my boss asks me for something...

Why do we escape, what are we really running from, and what does it actually take to stop? In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley, co-authors of a new book built around the shame triangle. We go deeper into the four types of escapers: over-functioning, under-functioning, other emotions, and aggression, and...

Do you know you should apologize, but feel your whole body resist the moment it's time to say the words? You are not alone. In this episode, we get honest about why accountability feels so threatening, and why it has far less to do with ego than you think. We tackle a question inspired by one of my recent group workshops: "Why does it feel so uncomfortable to admit when I'm wrong or apologize, eve...

Grief doesn't only come from death. Sometimes it comes from the slow loss of a relationship, an identity, a place you used to belong. In this episode of Untethering Shame , I sit down with Marcia Earhart , a grief and trauma-informed coach, mediator, and HeartSync minister, for a raw conversation about estrangement, complicated grief, and what it actually costs to belong somewhere you have to...

What if the traits you've been praised for your whole life, the perfectionism, the rule following, the relentless work ethic, were actually symptoms of a diagnosis most people have never heard of? In this episode, I sit down with Janice Russell, the Overwhelm Slayer, to unpack Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). Not OCD. OCPD. Janice spent decades building a life that looked incredib...

Please note: this episode covers substance use, fentanyl poisoning, child loss, and grief. Take care while listening. If you're struggling, you can call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or reach SAMHSA at 1-800-662-4357. Michelle Kullmann was sure it would never be her kid. Then her 18-year-old son Cade took one pill at college, a fake Percocet that was 100% fentanyl, and he never came ho...

Do you know you should teach your kids that discomfort isn't an emergency, but freeze because you have never figured out how to sit with it yourself? You are not alone. In this episode, we get honest about teaching a skill you are still learning, and why that might be the most powerful version of this work there is. We tackle a question from an anonymous listener: "I know I need to teach my kids t...

What happens when you have done all the things, read the books, attended the webinars, and still feel disconnected from yourself? In this episode I sit down with Elizabeth Webb, positive psychology expert, coach, and author of Made for Magic , to talk about why so many of us stay stuck in patterns that drain us, and how we start choosing differently. We get into self-abandonment and the quiet ways...

Do you keep accepting things in your relationships that you never actually agreed to? You are not alone. In this episode, we get clear on the difference between what you genuinely need, what you truly want, and what you have just quietly been tolerating. We tackle a question from an anonymous listener: "I have three things I need from people in my life, like fifteen things I'd love, and then a who...

You lie one to two times a day. So do I. And most of those lies have nothing to do with being a bad person. In this episode I sit down with Mary Beth Thomsen , intuitive and spiritual life coach, psychic medium, and shamanic practitioner, to unpack the real psychology of lying: why we lie, how lying starts in childhood as a survival strategy, and how those same protective habits turn into self bet...

Are you feeling disconnected from your partner even though you rarely fight? You are not alone. In this episode, we address the silent distance, outdated relationship contracts, and the unspoken changes that leave couples feeling lost. We tackle a highly relatable question from an anonymous listener: "My partner and I have been together for years and I love them, but somewhere along the way we bec...

It's not what happened to you, it's the emotion you were never allowed to feel. Therapist and author Sabrina Trobak returns to Untethered Shame to explain why "the past is the past" keeps you stuck, and how one quiet core belief, not good enough, not important, not valued, drives anxiety, people-pleasing, and burnout. Another Untethered Shame episode that goes one layer deeper than you expected. T...

Have you ever made a decision you knew in your gut was right — then had someone you love tell you it was wrong, until you started doubting everything? Not because new information showed up. Just because their disappointment got so loud it drowned out your own knowing. If you've been there, this episode is for you. This week's question comes from a longtime listener and dear friend, Alice: "My fami...

Why do I keep choosing the people, relationships, and dynamics that confirm my deepest insecurities? That question sits at the heart of this episode. I'm joined by neuroscience-based love coach Leah Mitchell to unpack why we're drawn to the "wrong" people on a chemical level. We get into why we stay stuck seeking validation as adults, the truth about reaching for the "narcissist" label, how cortis...

Are you feeling overwhelmed and constantly snapping at your loved ones? You are not alone. In this episode, we address the exhaustion, chronic stress, and burnout that lead to explosive reactions and intense shame. We tackle a highly relatable question from an anonymous listener: "I'm not an angry person, or, I mean, I guess at least I didn't used to be. But lately, I snap at my kids, I'm short wi...

Stop treating your burnout with toxic habits. Explore the unexpected safety of letting go of control. In this episode, we sit down with Mistress Mia, a therapeutic dominatrix who uses her practice for deep inner work and self-development. We break down the cultural taboos surrounding kink, clarifying that the Hollywood image of leather and whips only makes up a small fraction of her actual profess...

★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I've been running on empty for so long that I genuinely don't remember what it felt like to be okay. I don't know what I like any...

In this episode, I sit down with Maria Gallucci, a multi-award-winning real estate agent, author, and a proud Child of Deaf Adults (CODA), to uncover the hidden realities of navigating a world built for the hearing. Maria reveals to me the heavy emotional burden of acting as a childhood interpreter, the massive accessibility gaps in the housing and medical systems, and how she turned a life of fee...

★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I finally started putting myself first. Boundaries, saying no, protecting my time. And instead of feeling better, I feel worse. M...

Listen in on another vulnerable conversation between Bronwyn and Kyira, both therapists, as they share their own challenges and insights on engaging with their parents. This conversation broaches the conflict many feel as we see how our unhealed wounds of childhood affect us today. Which begs the question: how do we have a relationship with that parent? What do we do with all our resentment so it...

★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do. I sleep, I take breaks, I even started saying no to things. But I still wake up exhauste...

In this episode, we explore shame not just as a feeling, but as a deeply ingrained training system. Ingrid Hu Dahl returns to unpack how silence, obedience, and performance are often learned early as survival strategies, especially in families shaped by heavy cultural expectations or generational trauma. If you grew up learning how to perform for love instead of how to actually be safe, this conve...

In this powerful conversation, we welcome back Elizabeth Kipp for the third time to discuss the missing puzzle piece in addiction and recovery: shame. Rather than viewing shame as a mindset issue or a moral failing, Elizabeth explains the biological reality of our nervous system. This episode breaks down what happens when the body senses a threat, why we seek out immediate soothing mechanisms, and...