THE QUACK

"By 5 pm, I was such a hangry goblin that I could have jumped on someone’s shoulders and ripped their head off like the vampire in Twilight." Gym-uary is here, and everyone is pumped! I may groan, but it's far better than the Size 0 trend that was around when I was a teen.  Skip Introduction | 1: 54 Visit | www. TheQuack. Blog Sounds & music  | Soundstripe.com

"I realised that if I was ever going to achieve my goal, I either needed singing lessons.... or alcohol."    Happy New Year! Today, I am reflecting on my New Year's resolution to try to gain enough courage to perform karaoke while sober.     Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read The Quack | Www. TheQuack.blog Music & Sound | Soundstripe.com Book recommendation | This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Ann...

"If you want to attract attention to yourself, I highly recommend walking around with a tree."   This week's episode features a history-ish lesson about the Christmas tree and a very dramatic journey carrying a tree. Check out The Quack for photos of the journey.    Skip Introduction | 1:38 Visit | www. TheQuack. Blog Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Contact | Mary@thequack.blog

"I’m relieved Spotify Wrapped was not around in my school days because my delicate ego would have been smashed to pieces."   This week on the Quack is about Spotify Wrapped and how it exposes your true cringe-worthy self.   Skip Introduction | 3:05 Visit | www.thequack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com  

 If David Cameron were to peep out of his curtain, he would have seen a blob of tangled fairy lights running down the street.   The Christmas season is here! 🎄 Today's muddled observation is about how the office Christmas party has changed over the last decade. Featuring a facepalm moment about my first office Christmas party.   Skip Introduction | 1:45 Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The...

Clementine glared at me as if to say, “Please give her a grandchild.”   Today I tell a story about the time Mum adopted an old Cornish Retriever named Clementine. 🐕🦴🌊☀️   Skip Into | 1:50 Sound | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.blog

"DO NOT join a running club!" 🏃‍♀️   Redownloading Hinge. Deleting Hinge. A rejection from RAYA. How to attract someone without the apps?    Skip Introuduction | 2:10 Soundtrack and SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack. Blog

He took great joy in telling me that the word ‘avocado’ translates into ‘testicle’. A muddled observation about the differences between millennials and boomers.  Skip Introduction 2:00.   Sound | Soundstripe.come Visit the blog | www.thequack.blog  

“There are some smells, but surely you can’t hate the city for that?” said the Man in Finance.   This week Sausage and I are in a West Village bar, having a debate with a 'man in finance' about New York.    SKIP INTRO | 1:30 SOUNDTRACK & SFX | Soundstripe.com READ THE BLOG | www. TheQuack. Blog QUACK MAP | https://thequack.blog/make-the-quack-map-pink/  

“Move ooon!” The woman next to me heckled.    An awkward night in a comedy club; Unanswered questions, a heckler, and an audience who didn't want to laugh.   Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog |   www. TheQuack. Blog Quack Map | http://thequack.blog/make-the-quack-map-pink/  

Meanwhile, Sausage and I attempted to be pinpricked by the Empire State Building’s ariel.    This week is about photos and holidays 📷. Hear how my face got turned into a cloud at a New York tourist hot spot ☁️, to queuing for a photo booth in East Village. See photos and videos of the trip on Www. TheQuack. Blog   SKIP INTO: 2:50   Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.blog

We tried to dance, but after two songs we felt like school teachers at an out-of-hand raunchy school disco. A hunt for the perfect club in Soho. Skip Into - 3:00   SFX & Music |Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack. Blog

"And WHO is that beautiful bald man with the gigantic headset?"   This week, my friend, Sian and I went to watch  Minnesota Vikings vs. New York Jets. We were left with a lot of questions, and a small crush. 🏈 Skip Intro 2:31   Music and SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack. Blog

The snacks are NOT deep-fried pig skin with the hair still on.   A quick look into what I would change about the Great British pub.   Skip Intro | 2:12   Music and SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The Quack | TheQuack.blog.  

"In hindsight, it would have been easier if I had just smoked pot."   In 2010, I went from catholic school to film school. These are the six survival tips I learnt whilst I was there.    Skip Intro: 2:14   Soundtrack and Sound Effects | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack. Blog

"No meat, no fish, no eggs, no dairy…. and no friends..." The awkward date chats and funny restaurant scenarios, when you're a people-pleasing-plant-based-person.    Skip into (2:12)   Read | TheQuack. Blog Music and soundtrack credit | Soundstripe.com

"What is that strange ticking noise?"   The week I turned thirty-three—A Barbie nightmare, a hot tub chat. beans, and forcing my friends to wear crowns.    Skip Introduction (2:00) Soundtrack and sound effects - Soundstripe.com

You sit on the edge of the shelf waiting for Helen to return….   A muddled observation about when your friend falls in love and leaves you on the shelf.   (Skip me babbling on. 3:28)   Soundtrack and sound effects: Soundstripe.com Visit www. TheQuack.blog

"All we needed was for one of us to know how to play acoustic guitar and for Dad to tell stories about what it means to be a man… "  Skip Intro/Me talking about a UFO sighting. (2:40)   Twenty years ago, Mum booked a Californian ranch in an attempt to make us more wholesome....but it didn't quite work out. 🍪   Sound Credit: Soundstripe.com    

"The stadium was full of 91,998 screaming Swifties, plus Amy and Hermione."   A facepalm moment about the time I went to the Taylor Swift concert, with my non-swiftie friends.   SKIP INTRO 4:00   Soundtrack and sound effects | www.soundstripe.com Visit www. TheQuack.blog  

As we walked out of the garage beneath the starry autumn night, I began to think of what to say when Carrot confessed his love to me. 🥕❤️   A story about a friendship that began half a lifetime ago when Carrot had something to say. Includes a great escape.   Skip introduction: 2:12   Music/Sound Effects: Soundstripe.com

There is something about meeting someone in transit...   Stories about finding near-love on transport, featuring the true story of when Sausage met a man on a bus from D.C. to NYC, and when I shared a taxi with a stranger.    (You can play a drinking game with the amount of times I say, 'meet cute').   SKIP INTRODUCTION: 2:26   Music and sound effects | Soundstripe.com Visit | TheQuack.blog Email...

"The husband looked like a friendly neighbour - the type of man who would rigorously hoover his car mats on a Sunday morning...."   Three embarrassing encounters with some of the greatest sportsmen; George Best,  Lawrence Dallaglio, and Justin Rose.    SKIP INTRO: 1:45   Soundtrack and Sound Effects: Soundstripe.com Visit the blog: THEQUACK.BLOG    

“I’m very into mature women,” he said. I looked behind one shoulder, and then the other, and realised he was talking about me.   The night I realised I was seen as a 'mature woman', and a muddled observation about age gaps in relationships.   SKIP INTRO: 2:38.   Soundtrack and sound effects: Soundstripe.com Visit THEQUACK.BLOG. 

...A fan would whack the table in a rhythm, prompting everyone to shout ‘ENGLAND!’  It wasn't exactly Les Misérables, but it did the job.   If the day of the Euro Final was a musical...   SKIP INTRO: 2:07   Song credits: www. Soundstripe.com