The Living in Truth Project

Why do people easily condemn abuse when it appears in the news… but struggle to confront it when it happens inside their own families or communities? In this Here’s the Lesson mini-episode, Jon explores a powerful blind spot that exists in many family systems: moral clarity is easy when the villain is distant, but much harder when the person causing harm is someone we know and love. Drawing from g...

Why does God allow betrayal, injustice, and seasons that feel like the pit? In this episode of the CLEAVE Podcast , Jon and Ashley explore the story of Joseph in Egypt and what it teaches us about suffering, family betrayal, faith, and personal transformation. Joseph’s story is one of the most powerful narratives in scripture. He is betrayed by his own brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused,...

What does it actually mean when someone says a family “functions like a cult”? This episode explores the psychological dynamics of control inside certain family systems — especially in religious or faith-centered homes. We’re not talking about compounds. We’re talking about: • Unquestioned authority • Boundaries labeled as betrayal • Loyalty demanded without accountability • Silence used as punish...

What does it actually mean to “leave and cleave” in marriage? Many couples don’t struggle because they don’t love each other. They struggle because no one ever taught them how loyalty shifts when you enter a covenant relationship. In this episode of CLEAVE, we unpack: • Marriage boundaries and family of origin dynamics • In-law tension and enmeshment in Christian families • Emotional maturity and...

Many Christians are told that unless there is sexual or physical abuse, they should “just work through it.” But what about spiritual abuse? What about chronic manipulation, gaslighting, emotional control, and family systems that demand silence over truth? In this episode of Leave Then Cleave, we unpack the difference between forgiveness and enabling — and why reconciliation requires repentance. We...

In many families, the person who starts healing becomes the threat. In this episode, we unpack the role of the scapegoat — and why the one who sees unhealthy patterns is often labeled dramatic, divisive, or difficult. We explore how discernment develops, why systems protect stability over truth, and how boundaries actually preserve relationships instead of destroying them. We discuss: • Scapegoat...

Most Christians are taught that forgiveness means immediate reconciliation. But that’s not what happened in the story of Joseph. In this episode of Here’s the Lesson , Jon unpacks the powerful intersection of scripture and psychology — showing how the biblical story of Joseph and his brothers reveals something many churches overlook: Forgiveness is internal. Reconciliation is relational. And trust...

Have you ever tried to address a hurt, name a pattern, or set a boundary — and were told you were being contentious? In many families, discomfort gets treated as spiritual danger. Hard conversations get shut down in the name of “keeping the peace,” and scripture is sometimes used to avoid accountability rather than invite growth. But not all discomfort is contention. In this episode, we explore th...

We’re often taught that faith means holding families together at all costs. But what happens when keeping the peace requires ignoring what’s true? In this episode of Here’s the Lesson , we talk about the tension many people quietly live in — loving their family while feeling pressured to stay silent about patterns that hurt them. Not rebellion. Not bitterness. Conscience. Jesus never taught that l...

This episode is a listener Q&A — real situations people are living through right now. We talk through questions about toxic in-laws, going no contact with parents, when a spouse doesn’t see the problem, attending weddings or funerals during estrangement, and whether reconciliation is actually possible. These aren’t clinical answers. They’re the conversations we wish we could have sat in on whe...

One of the most damaging misunderstandings in faith communities is the belief that talking about abuse is “gossip.” In this episode, we break down the critical difference between gossip and truth , and how spiritual language is often used—intentionally or unintentionally—to silence survivors, protect harmful systems, and keep abuse hidden. We explore: Why silence does not equal peace or holiness H...

Jesus once gave a command that feels almost impossible when you’ve been deeply hurt: “Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you.” These words weren’t spoken to people in safe, healthy relationships. They were spoken to the wounded. The betrayed. Those who had every reason to harden their hearts. In this episode, we slow that teaching do...

Being the “peacemaker” in a family is often praised — but in unhealthy systems, that role can quietly lead to anxiety, resentment, and exhaustion. In this Here’s the Lesson episode, we explore how peacemaking can shift from genuine reconciliation into emotional self-abandonment, especially in families shaped by control, conflict avoidance, or spiritual manipulation. If you learned to stay calm, sm...

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood—and most weaponized—concepts in faith communities. In this episode, Jon and Ashley dismantle the damaging belief that forgiveness requires forgetting, excusing harm, or immediately reconciling with people who continue to hurt you. Drawing from their own journey through family estrangement, boundary-setting, and spiritual healing, they explore the critic...

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood teachings in faith communities — and for many people, that misunderstanding has caused more harm than healing. In this Here’s the Lesson episode, we explore why forgiveness has so often been taught as immediate reconciliation, emotional closure, or spiritual maturity — and how that definition leaves survivors feeling confused, ashamed, and unsafe. If yo...

What happens when kindness comes with expectations? In this mini episode of Here’s the Lesson , we explore how giving—especially in families—can quietly turn into obligation, control, or resentment when it’s tied to unspoken expectations. This conversation isn’t about blame. It’s about honesty, boundaries, and learning the difference between love that’s freely given and love that’s conditional. If...

What happens when faith—meant to heal, guide, and liberate—is used to control, silence, or shame? In this episode, we dive into the often misunderstood topic of spiritual abuse and spiritual manipulation . We talk honestly about how gospel principles can be misapplied in families, churches, marriages, and faith communities—sometimes unintentionally, sometimes generationally—and the emotional and s...

“Don’t judge” is one of the most quoted — and most misunderstood — phrases in Christian culture. In this Here’s the Lesson mini episode, we unpack what Jesus actually taught about judgment, discernment, and accountability. Christ never asked us to abandon truth in the name of love. He warned against hypocrisy — not righteous judgment. We explore the difference between condemning people and discern...

What did Jesus actually mean when He said, “turn the other cheek”? For many, this teaching has been misunderstood—and misused—to encourage silence, endurance, and even compliance in the face of harm. In this episode of Here’s the Lesson , we slow down and place Christ’s words back into their original context. This conversation explores the difference between refusing retaliation and refusing safet...

This isn’t a full episode — just a short reflection. In this Here’s the Lesson segment from Leave Then Cleave , Jon explores why boundaries are often mislabeled as betrayal, especially in families and faith-based relationships. Boundaries aren’t rejection. They’re clarity. If someone experiences your boundary as abandonment, it may be because they were used to access without accountability. This i...

This isn’t a full episode — just a short reflection. In this Here’s the Lesson segment from Leave Then Cleave , Jon explores the difference between peace and avoidance, especially when silence is mistaken for righteousness. Forgiveness was never meant to erase truth. And love was never meant to require self-betrayal. This is a moment for anyone who’s been told that speaking up is unchristlike, tha...

Welcome to Cleave — formerly The Living in Truth Project Podcast . In this reboot episode, Jon and Ashley introduce what Cleave is all about: honest, long-form conversations on marriage, family dynamics, boundaries, healing, faith, and emotional health . We share the story behind the name Cleave — what it means to leave what’s unhealthy and cleave to what’s true — and what you can expect from this...

Wicked is not the story we all thought it was. In this episode of Cleave , I break down the emotional and psychological layers inside one of Broadway’s biggest hits — and why its message hits differently as an adult. We talk: • the Wizard’s manipulation • Glinda’s toxic charm • the recipe for creating a scapegoat • the cost of choosing integrity • and why Elphaba is one of the most important “hero...

What happens when the ideal of “eternal family” meets the reality of imperfection and grief? In this powerful episode, Jon Lefrandt reflects on the doctrine behind family, partnership, and divine order—through the lens of his own loss, love, and lived experience. A heartfelt look at what it means to cleave to one another, to God, and to the hope that no family is ever truly lost.

Understanding Epigenetics and Generational Trauma Through LDS Doctrine In today’s world, the intersection of religious beliefs and modern science offers profound insights into our understanding of human behavior and healing. This episode explores how trauma can be passed down through generations, the role of angels and ancestors in healing, and how LDS teachings can help us break these cycles and...