The Expat Mom Podcast

Ten years ago today, my mother passed away.  Grief isn’t something we plan or prepare for, so when it comes it’s often unexpected—even if someone’s death is expected due to a terminal illness.  I’ve been looking back at my own grief journey, and studying the most common things about grief that cause people to get stuck and what helps them get unstuck.  I’m excited to share those tips with you toda...

Changing your behavior around people pleasing is a process.  Today’s podcast offers 10 practical tips to help you prepare for a situation, navigate no people pleasing in the moment, and a few tips for how to make not people pleasing successful.  If you haven’t listened to the first three podcasts, be sure to do that as the podcasts build on each other.   On the podcast you'll learn: The Boome...

People pleasing is something almost all of us do.  Chronic people pleasers sometimes don’t know how to stop.  On this episode we dive into how to stop people pleasing.  There is a practical four step process with several examples to help you see how it might apply in different situations.    Free Mini-Coaching Session Sign-up for a free 30-min. mini-coaching session.  It can help make a struggling...

Today, we’re going to discuss a bit about how to know if you’re a people pleaser or if you have “The Niceness Disease.” Because it “looks” like kindness, and it’s shrouded in friendly behavior and even reinforced by positive social feedback, the niceness disease can sometimes be difficult to detect, especially in your self; however just as physical illnesses are often diagnosed by a patient’s symp...

According to Dr. David Burns, over 75% of people with anxiety suffer from "The Niceness Disease."  The Niceness Disease is another way of describing people pleasing--doing something just to appease someone else, even if it isn't something you want or feel you can do.  On the show we discuss more about what The Niceness Disease is, why it's a problem, and what the difference is...

Kindness is powerful in lifting ourselves and others and creating the biology of happiness.  But is kindness something we can “teach” our kids?  Like anything else, we can’t force our kids to be kind, but we can do things to help children develop empathy and experience themselves the power of kindness.  This episode will explore some ways we can help our children develop the skill of kindness.  It...

You’ve probably heard people say that being kind makes you feel good.  Most of us have experienced this through simple kindnesses like letting someone go in front of us in line or holding the door for someone.  But, did you know that there is a biochemical change in your body when you are kind that creates that feeling?  This podcast episode explores the science of kindness.  We’ll discuss the neu...

We often think of kindness as something that requires effort, time, humility, patience or other exertion. In other words, we often tend to think of kindness as a sacrifice.  But is it?  As we examine kindness more closely, we find that kindness often pays us more than it costs us.  In the podcast we examine the principle of “lift” in geese and how kindness operates much the same among humans.  As...

Trust with teens is an important topic.  Last week we address whether or not we should trust our teens.  But trust in any relationship is not just a one-sided experience.  Today we’re talking about the flip side of this equation…how to help a teen trust YOU.     Trust matters.  Whether or not your teen trusts you is likely the difference in whether or not they will share what’s really going on.  A...

“Should I trust my teen?” is a question I get asked in coaching, and it’s one most of us with teens thinks about.   As parents we WANT to trust our kids.  And our kids want to be trusted.  But is trusting them the best thing for them?   In my opinion the answer isn't a simple yes or no.  I believe the answer is actually yes AND no.   On the podcast I break down the science on the teen brain a...

It's hard to believe it's been a year since the launch of The Expat Mom Podcast!  As a special celebratory episode, I interview my four daughters ages 14 down to 5 about what it's like to be in the middle of an international move.  You'll get a sneak peak into our family, and hear some honest emotion expressed--both positive and negative.  You'll also hear what my kids thi...

Parenting teens requires a totally different brand of parenting than younger children.  Sometimes parents of teens get frustrated because the parenting they used to use doesn’t work as well, but also because don’t have the same control or influence over their kids that they used to.  It’s a transition for parents.   In the process of sorting it all out, parents often end up struggling in their rel...

August is the time many teens are making school transitions.  While transitions are challenging for kids of all ages—teens often struggle the most because they depend developmentally on social and moving makes social connection more uncertain.  In addition, their academic accomplishments tend to hold more gravity so challenges in transition tend to affect kids in the long-term.  In addition to all...

TCKs have some unique challenges and tend to have more grief and loss in their lives than a mono-cultural kid might experience.  However, there are lots of things parents can do in order to help kids develop a healthy identity and stay emotionally healthy.   This podcast features the second half of the interview with Lauren Wells, the author of the book, “Raising up a Generation of Healthy Third C...

If you are an expat raising kids abroad—your kids are “Third Culture Kids,” meaning—they are spending some of their developmental years living in a culture different from their parent’s passport culture.  They are a third culture kids because they aren’t living in their pp culture, they don’t totally fit into the culture they live in—they are part of a third culture as an expat.  Research has show...

Rates of anxiety in expat kids are high.  The unique lifestyle it’s challenges can exacerbate anxiety.  However, there is lots parents can do to support kids.   On this episode my podcast guest, Alivia Irwin LCSW, shares some tools to help.     On the podcast you’ll learn:  How does moving impact kids with anxiety?  How can I best support my kids during a move?  How do I support my teen with anxie...

Rates of children with anxiety everywhere are rising, but the rates are even higher among the expat population.  Many expat children struggle with anxiety.  On the podcast, Alivia Irwin, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in anxiety herself and has been an expat twice addresses how parents can best support kids with anxiety.    One the podcast you’ll learn: What happens to a child b...

Sometimes getting kids to share details about the day can feel like pulling teeth out!  While we can't force our kids to talk, there are a few simple things we can do to help our kids open up and be willing to share.  One the episode you'll learn: How your agenda and your child's agenda might not match The type of questions to use...and which ones NOT to use How to respond so your c...

Sometimes dealing with sibling rivalry can feel exhausting!!   One of the best ways to mitigate the potential harm from sibling rivalry is to teach children how to fight right.  In other words, rather than just stopping the conflict—we can teach kids HOW to resolve it.  This meta-skill is SO valuable, much more valuable than simply ending the chaos of the moment during a sibling quarrel.   In this...

If you have more than one child, you’ve probably experienced some fighting and some rivalry between your kids.   Actually, expat life is very supportive of sibling relationships and many families report that living abroad helps their kids feel close since they depend more on each other and have unique shared experiences.  But being together a lot can also mean there is conflict.  Today on the podc...

Traveling with kids can have some amazing benefits, but it can also be challenging.  On this episode we discuss how minimize the challenges and accentuate the benefits to really enjoy traveling with kids.   On this episode you'll learn: What science says about the benefits of travel with kids How to prepare for an enjoyable trip with kids How add more fun into your travel How to support kids...

What keeps you from emotion coaching your kids?  Do you feel like you just don’t have time?  You are just too reactive?  Your kids are too young or too old?  There are lots of things that keep us from coaching our kids through emotions.  This episode addresses some of the most common questions and issues parents have about emotion coaching.  Things you’ll learn on the podcast: When is too young or...

Studies show that kids’ emotional success is much less dependent on the quantity of difficult things that happen to them and much more on their experience with them.  As parents, we can’t always control what happens to our kids—nor would we want to.  But we can control how we support our kids through whatever does happen.  And, this support piece is much more powerful to their emotional health any...

Most of us think that we’re being a good parent if we keep our kids happy.  But that’s not true.  In fact, some of our best parenting can occur when our kids are experiencing a negative emotion. That’s because studies show that kids’ emotional health is less dependent on the amount of negative emotion they experience and more on how they were supported through it. When we are able to coach our kid...

Kids and big emotions often go together like peanut butter and jelly.  It’s part of the business of childhood and our teen years to figure out how to deal with our emotions.  And, as parents we can be a help or a hinderance in that process.  It isn’t always intuitive to know how to help kids with emotions—in fact we often want to avoid negative emotions for our kids.  This week on the podcast we e...